Yesterday when the pre-school called back we went in to visit and register.  They are currently taking over the bigger room next door and so expanding their numbers.  Because of E's age she will be defniitely in as she will be sooner to start school next year.  It is a lovely nursery.  They dont limit the childs learning ability.  She told me about one child who was 4 and putting sounds together to make words with reading.  She even sat in the reading corner and listened to him read.  So that is a relief.

the other thing I asked about was the school time we do at home - that was ok she said.  She mentioned teaching phonics with alphabet names - which we are already doing anyhow - because the government have decided that this is a good thing to teach and learn.  ho hum.  Lets hear how many people say that when 10 year olds still spell their names phonically not with alphabet names - i was mortified when that happened to me.  (I didnt even know the letter sounds at that time) and had to get someone to translate for me.

But i know I am doing the right thing and the fact that her concentration is improving is a great bonus.  I am sure that it will pay divedends when she is older and can sit down, concentrate and get her homework done before having time to play.  I am so excited for her.  They said they will be moving into the next room within the next two weeks.  So pre-school here we come!

Unfortunately I presented it wrongly to my mother and she thought that it was her fault that E hadnt been doing this previously.  But no, it was because she was in different nursery, and last half term I was needing to spend time with my parentsfor lots of diferent reasons. And I think in a way it was nice to have that time to us.  Even though it was 24/7 for 3 months and so on, we have had 45 min breaks on occasion for gymnastics once a week and that has been nice.

Well.  I need to get some rest.  And it is nearly E's bedtime, so think I may go to bed (on the sofa so i can read and watch some telly) same time as her tonight!
Peace
EF.x 

we see them as we are."
~Anias Nin~

I like this because it reminds me that everything i see or understand is from my own perspective, and everyone else will see it from a different point of view, sometimes a similar one, othertimes a way way different angle.  How do i overcome this?  I accept people as they are and agree to disagree and do my best to respect their point of view.  Especially when it is so foreign to me that I cannot comprehend it at all.  That is when i try to be respectful most of all. 

A couple of years ago my father told this amazing story about 'Rose Coloured Spectacles'.  Our Rosey Specs are our own perspectives from our own experiences.  It is a subjective point of view.  When we remove them from our eyes we see the glaringly obvious objective point of view.  Sometimes it is an affront to us because it is pointing out that we are slightly or very wrong in a circumstance, or that although we are correct we could be nicer or compromise in order to help maintain the relationships with those loved ones who are coming at the situation or circumstance from a different angle.

We have a situation like this in my immediate family, Sometimes I wonder why I bother. It can hurt so bad. Then i remember that I love them. They are my family.  So better to keep on keeping on.  It is so hard to remember that because I am fortunate to have a fairly broad world view not everyone else does, and sometimes health issues make things distorted also.  Also just because people have travelled doesnt mean that they have a healthy or developed world view - they can be totally parochial; as someone who has lived in the same village all their lives and has no concept of the reality of the wider world.  And on some issues I am totally narrow minded!

But it converts to this site as well.  By and large i have been pleasantly surprised at how people write on here.  We abide by the rules and tend to express opinions and experiences so that others can be learning from them, gleaning ideas for times when they may be in certain situations.  Noone is forced to agree with anyone else.  Just because what someone else writes something that makes sense doesnt mean it will work for me.  But it worked for them becauase that was their experience.   Also because of the viewpoint i tackle a problem from it will not be exactly the same as someone else.  I guess what I am saying is that we choose to respect our fellow parents, those who do things similarly, and those who work completely differently to us because we all have so much we can learn from each other. 

Someone made a comment the other day that they felt like people were 'ganging up' on them.  To sense this is surely wrong.  And if such a sense is real then maybe people need to regain perspective and remember that we are here to share our experiences.  Not dictate, judge or put others down for doing something differently to how you would have.  Or for wording something wrongly.

I love this site.  I love the support i sense when i see that peole do things similarly to how I do them.  Or when I ask silly questions and feel daft for needing to ask, but people answer so kindly and constructively.  I like that I can maybe possibly make a difference and make life a little easier for someone else when I have had a hard issue that I have worked through and then share it and they can glean from it and get through something easier themselves.

I love an easy life, and that includes being fair to others - regardless of how easy that is to do - at the end of the day it is easier to try than to nurture problems and end up with wasting energy on bad feeing and stoking that fire.  Negative things compound problems. 

OK.  So I was going somewhere with this, and now I have been distraced (you may have noticed) and I cant get back on track - maybe later on i will manage.
Peace
EF.x 

"That is fine love" 

"Why not?"

or just shrugg and ignore! 

How can she form that opinion?  She loves all the boys she knows in our family.  When we talk about her friends the boys she knows she likes as much as the girls.  But as a general concept she dislikes boys.  I dont know where she has come across this from.  Depending on her mood when she says it I tend to ignore it as i dont want to encourage this form of thinking. 

She found an adorable card the other day which we filled out for her cousin in the states it was pink - he should cope!!  With a teddy bear on it and flowers. We left it behind at mum and dads so must remember to call them later on to post it for us - how cheeky!

Ah well.  Today i am being most productive.  Already I have paid the bills that were well overdue, spoken to the pre-school and waiting for them to call back, laundry is just finishing and ready to be hung up.  WOW.  It is about a month since I was last this productive - I love it. 
Must get on.  Peace
EF.x 

First off she takes my money from the kitchen where I had it ready for shopping tomorrow.
Then she puts it in her pink sparkly 'purse'.
We decide to get take-out. But i have no money - she does.  So she buys it.
We go to the shop, I order, she pays.
We go to the other shop for drinks, she pays again. 
How lovely to be bought dinner.  LOL

Now we gonna have dinner and watch 'Alice in Wonderland'.  I couldn't think of a better ending for this lovely weekend we have had.

Peace
EF.x 

You are my sunshine My only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know dear how much I love you
Please dont take my sunshine away.

I sang this song to E the other morning, about two weeks ago now.  She loves it as much as I do and sings it at least once every day.  She sang it to my Mum last week and Mum just glowed! 

She is such a sunny child and I love that she knows it now. 

Peace
EF.x 

I cannot believe this.  I have been online nearly all day and I cannot access MSN or Yahoo at all.  I have spent all day not being able to check my email accounts.  Although it is nice to take a day off it is better to do it when I have no obligation to check them.  I help out with various msn groups and have not been able to assist anyone in this all day.  And not having these people in my other email accounts or phone numbers to notify them of this is just so incredibly frustrating.  Just had to spout cuz I feel awful and I have really let down a good friend today because we were meant to meet this morning to discuss an aspect of one of the groups.  And she probably thinks I am just unreliable instead of stuck and unable to communicate.  I reckon it is something to do with my firewall, but so far am unable to see anything that has changed.  Am going to keep searching this evening. 
OK.  Spouted and finished (for now)
Peace
EF.x 

Today is officially Choco-holic day according to the americans (who celebrate anything and everything).  So I shamelessly jumped onto the bandwagon yesterday and informed all my friends via every media I had available to me!  (txt msgs, phone calls, emails, post in blogs and groups - you name it I did it!!!)

This morning we had to go to the library as we were all out of books.  On the way home we took a longer detour in order to hit the cheap shops where a 500g bar of chocolate is 49p.  Awesome.  We got one bar of 'yellow' (E's favourite) and one bar of milk chocolate (for me).  I then broke it into the little squares.  We got one square every half an hour.  So a chocolate day all day long and no sicky feeling and no eating far too much - well we have, but it is a special treat day...LOL.  It has worked too in marking time for E.  A half an hour is quite a long time when you dont know how to measure time.  Butwe have watched movies and played hide and seek in between times.  It has been the most 'together' day we have had in ages cuz every single half hour we have had to stop everything and share the goodies.  But also we have spent the time inbetween working together on things also. 

OOps. Pizza needs rescueing - back soon.
EF.x 

...home again....jiggity jog.

Glad to be home safe again.  Mum and dad brought us all the way and then went to get the groceries cuz we were so alte home while i settled E.  It was lovely just being able to relax and potter about as i fed her and sorted her for bed instead of having to rush out to the shops for milk etc. 

hoping to get her into pre-school on monday so that will be good for both of us.  Will give me time to take care of so much other stuff even though it is only a couple of hours.  *fingers crossed*  I am off to bed now anyhow.  Check in again soon.
Peace
EF.x 

After being told by all the doctors and nurses that a lump like the one i had was 'nothing' and I shouldn't have wasted their time it has gone!  SO they were right.  Just pray now that I never ever get another luump, because I am not trained to know the difference between one lump and another and I may not go next time in case I am wasting their time again.  Ho hum.  and what if next time it is serious?  I am sad, but i know that it is unlikely that I will waste their time should it happen again if I am still living in the same town.  They didnt aspirate it, or do anything other than look at it and one doctor touched it and felt how it was.  She said she had felt other lumps in the past and that this one was too solid to be a lyphoma (?sp) I have never heard of one of them before.  But I am glad my lump wasnt squishy!   It took over two weeks to go down, I assume it has actually gone - but who can tell?  Anyhow.  Just thought I should update since so many people were so amazingly supportive and everything while I had it and was confused about the cause and what I should do.  I hope in my heart that I will get another lump checked out should I ever suffer another one.  It would be foolish of me not to.  I know that.  But I also know what a fool i felt!  OK,  nuff said
EF.x 

I have been so busy here at home that I havent had a chance to hardly come online let alone blog anything!  We have had some lovely family times and tomorrow wea re off home to our place.  E refers to this palce as her 'second home' these days.

Right now I have only just fed her her dinner time (one whole tin of baked beans, a sweetcorn on the cob portion, a slice of bread and a slice of roast pumpkin have done the job tonight).  And it is already bedtime.  Whew!  Dad is bringing back fish and chips for the rest of us because they are getting home from work so late and there is no shopping done - we ate them out of house and home.  LOL!  Ah well.  There is a first time for everything I guess. 

Must get E off to bed and maybe I will get back online later on - that is if these guys dont get here first and play their little world or warcraft game! 

Peace
EF.x 

Last night the wife of the vicar at the church i used to go to called me looking for photos among the things I had left behind of things that we had done over the time I had been there.  Tonight her daughter came to see me and gave me a gift of a book i have wanted for a while now and a card signed by all the children.  Better late than never they say.  It was lovely to see her though and to know that everything has been ok with them since i left.  I had so many questions I didnt dare ask!  But I am glad that they are doing well and that they still appear at least to be in control instead of having the adults swamp them and tell them what to do all the time.

E was so happy also to see her!  She felt like all her christmasses came at once and hasnt stopped talking about her all evening!  Well that and going to see Darling and Papa tomorrow.  She spent over an hour singing in the bath this evening.  It was delicious hearing her and I was on the phone to my mother also and she loved it too. 

Today has been a real good day with lots of fun at gymnastics this morning followed by heaps of singing this afternoon - i really need to start recording her.  Must buy several C60 tapes.  Me off for another early night, glands etc still up but not getting the headaches that i was.
Peace
EF.x 

Every day i write a blog, go to save it and my pc crashes.  SO frustrating!!!  Fancy trusting technology in this day and age. 

Went to see the doc today.  No probs she saus, nothing wrong with me, yes it is a lump, yes i am having a variety of symptoms, but no, nothing to concern myself with. 

If they are wrong I am gonna be so mad, if not i am totally relieved, and for now that is how I am gonna stay.  Dont wanna imagine bad things in the corners jumping out at me all the time.

Well, off again for an early night.
Peace
EF.x 

Roasting Pumpkins. 

People keep asking me for this recipe, so in case anyone here wants it I will put it here for now and transfer it to the recipe group when i get a chance. 

Take pumpkin, chop off required amount or into quarters. 

Peel skin off as one would when preparing potatoes etc for roast.

Cut into pieces about size of roast potatoes

Place in non-stick roasting dish

Cook for 20 mins on about 200C (sorry, I have electric oven these days)

E loves them and I enjoy them immensely.  Little fuss, little mess, delish and go with practically any meal under the sun (if you are me that is).

Peace
EF.x 

Made it through the day.  Slept all day yesterday, came online in the early hours of the morning cuz unable to sleep and annoyed at a certain nurse.  Lol.  Then PC crashed as I was posting here, cant remember what it was but it was something fun.  After I finished here E woke up - good timing.  We played till about 7am then we went to sleep till alarm went off for church, and we both got up and reas that for a first ever?  Ah well our secret midnight - well early morning playtime was fun, she taught me some new choreography

Jump jump jump STAR
Jump jump jump STAR
SLIDE wiggle wiggle wiggle SLIDE

Well cool, moves and nice flourishes with the hands on the SLIDE's.  We also sang some copy cat songs where i sang and she repeated me, then she sang and i repeated her.  It was fun.  She is good at that kinda thing, going to have to encourage it.  YAy, new school time topic and activities...we are overflowing with ideas. 

Going to go see Dr in the am re: lump just in case, better safe than sorry, though i cannot feel anything at all now, but less than 12 hours ago there were many small little bumps in there, so dunno.  Just hope it is my over active imagination and me being a hypochondriac.  I may be sad that this could be true, but it is better than having something wrong and having to deal with that. 

Made some new friends today at church.  They have offered to look after E for me should I ever need a break, including going to sleep on the big bed upstairs while E plays downstairs with their little girl. So kind.  Seriously thinking of taking the offer up for this one since need some me time. 

Peace
EF.x 

I just saw my name at the top of the 'most popular advice' page.  I rarely go to that page and had never considered what I write to be that great.  But now I have a real buzz.  YAY.  Isnt it great how simple things can be such an encouragement.  Anyhow, must get off and do some work.  it is turned 12 now.
Peace
EF.x 

lump appears to be less this morning.  Shall monitor it over the weekend i think and see what happens then.  Am going to lodge a complaint re: last night.  The nurse didnt listen to a word i said! 
Peace
EF.x 

What is it with the NHS.  I am almost ashamed to claim that I too am a nurse.  OK.  So i went to see the Doc, but only got to see a nurse practitioner who didnt listen to a word I said and told me i had a low grade infection and that it would go away.  Hmm, shall monitor it over night and see what happens in the morning.
I am going to check peoples comments now, thank you for commenting on my previous post. 
Peace
EF.x 

I have found a lump in my lymph node under my left arm.  It isnt a vain imagining, E can also feel it.  I have a neighbour who is a community nurse coming over when she finishes work later on today and will see what she thinks.  I hope it is nothing serious. Just gonna go lie down now and see what transpires later on.  My main concern isnt my health, but more what will happen to E should i actually have something wrong with me.  I cannot be unwell.  I shall be well.  This is nothing at all.  Shall keep on praying too obviously!
EF.x  

Well, Samuel Micah was born early this morning.  (3:04, est)  We got the call just as I was packing to come back here.  It was a little flat since I will never meet the kid for years yet as he is in Florida and it is only when i save enough to go there that we will meet.  And so I know him as well now as I did at easter this year.  But now i know his birth weight and so on too.  It was a little weird knowing all the important bits already. 

Unfortunately none of the grandparents were present at the birth either which was a real shame since they knew last week that he would be born today although they expected him to be induced.  I guess the reality of it got to him and he decided to get moving!!  LOL  But we were a little jealous being over the other side of the world standing by the phone waiting for news and then hearing that the others hadnt come along..

Ah well.  Such is life sometimes. 

Had a lovely time at home.  Sunday morning went up a nearby hill to fly the kite and play with the frisbee and ball with my brother and E while parents went to church.  It was lovely.  E loved having C all to herself.  We walked for 90 mins.  It is the first time we have had with him ever.  It was a real treat.  Then this morning before we left we made flowers out of yoghurt pots.  That was fun too! 

Well, better browse around and see what i have missed these past few days.

Oh, Attention Challenge. We did ok while we were away.  Had loads of special time each morning for about two hours, getting up, bathed and dressed and brekky on.  Somehow being there made it quality time that doesnt happen the same when we are home.  And each evening the same routine we do at home.  Although we had 'papa' do the princess story on sunday night and 'darling' do it on the monday night.  That was nice for me to have a break.

Peace
EF.x 

Well, off to our second home in a couple of hours.  Mum called about an hour ago and said Dad was coming past our way on a job, did we want him to pick us up.  We were gonna train it over tomorrow, but it will save a lot of money, so we are packing now.  Well I am packing and finishing up online, she is sleeping!  LOL. 

YAY.  A few days of rest and relaxation. 
Have a good weekend everyone!
Peace
EF.x 

Finally remembered to buy more soda bic today, so clothes are soaking over night tonight.  I hope this works.  It will be great to just give them away or sell them after this.  And they should be the sweetest smelling clothes in all the world. 

E washed her hair all on her own today, including washing the shampoo out "the way mummy does it" in the bath.  Seems we are finaly growing in confidence and knowledge of what happens and where water goes when we do different things.  It is a relief, and I hope it continues.  Obviously those ultra long baths she has been taking for the past week are paying off. 

Well, I am off to get some much needed beauty sleep. 
Peace
EF.x 

So now the scientists tell us that we have 10 years to do something about the environment etc.  But what on earth?  I mean, sure, I can be environmentally friendly at home, do my bit etc, but I dont drive,we dont have gas here and I dont use excessive electricity or hot water, except when using the PC and bathing my daughter respectively. 

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/14092006/325/world-10-year-window-act-climate.html

Ho hum.  How do we deal with climate change then?  Sign petitions?  March at companies, knock on the front door and politely request that they use renewable sources of energy so that we can maintain our economies and also have a future?

I saw a movie called 'Inferno' the other night.  I wonder if that is how the world will become as it warms up.  Scorching and a threat of exploding the planet because it cannot sustain the heat.  hmmm

I am so ignorant about all this stuff, I do my best with my limited knowledge, but I dont wnat to become a campaigner.  My life is already too busy and I have majorly decreased my committments in the past month and it is still too busy.  What can I do?  

Go to bed.  I am tired.  It is 1:45am.  Shall think and dream on this and maybe find a solution tomorrow.  Be lovely if I could wake up and have a solution that made everything ok. 

Peace
EF.x