This is my brother whose hair I have been styling into Mohawk for him.  I am proud of this achievement as I am so not a rock or punk chick.  He gave me permission to copy these pics into my blog as a reward of my good work.  awww, so kind!  In total I have done this 3 times now, and each time is quicker and stronger.  So I am well pleased.  Just really really really had to show off though too...forgive my proud ambition. 

He looks good and is off out now to NYE party...where I am meant to be joining him after E's bedtime....we shall have to see about whether I can get there yet though ..... i need a night out, and being invited to my brothers friends party - average age way too young for me.... he thinks maybe I will find myself a nice girl.....lol...nice thought even if not likely....

Peace and HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL
EF.x 

OK.  So I is being lazy and not sending individual greetings - this is simply because of time constraints and not wanting to pick and choose amongst my wonderful friends here on Minti. 

Wishing you all much love and happiness today and throughout the year to come.  May dreams be realised and new friends made.
Peace and Love
EF.x 

Santa's Grotto.  Not a great pic, lighting seems to be all out and I dont know how to use the programs that this PC has to correct it or to resize it.  Never mind.  His beard was even real!  We got a real santa - how totally cool is that!!!

Peace
EF.x 

Isn't it just so wonderful when someone has the webcam up and you can see them for real?  I love that.  I love the contact that it seems to evoke.  I only cam with my family, because I dont know anyone else and refuse to cam with someone I do not know or cannot see - another of my foibles about internet security you may say.  But I have been priviledged to see a close friend recently on cam, and it has just made me so so happy that I had to share it.  Having not used our cam in nearly a year it has been refreshing and invigourating to share our life as well as see others again.  YAY for technology!  It has made my christmas.
Peace
EF.x 

PS My advice has been reported, so if anyone is interested please let it out of jail so I can correct it....there are a couple of minor spelling errors in it.  Thankee

Seems this week is going so fast yet so slow.  Mums birthday was great.  Did loads of shopping for next years birthday and christmas.  Now they just have to store it.  E entertained us and was ever so good.  We spent a while in the toy dept of Woolies and finally found a 'Fifi and the FLowertots' puzzle set - it contained 10 puzzles.  It was incredible, and just what I had been looking for her for christmas, but it was for 3+ and she is gonna be 4 on her birthday.  SO it is a little young for her.  But she saw it and she wanted it too, so I avoided saying 'No' for the longest time.  Then we were looking at something else about 15/20 mins later on, and she was still carrying this puzzle box and I suddenly realised that there was this other thing I was gonna get her.  So I just blurted out 'Put that one back love, I wanna get you something different' and she said 'OK' and put it back.  We were there for about another 45 mins after that and she found a few things that she showed me, and she played nicely on various things that were there for that purpose and it was lovely.  A couple walked past and commented on how, just three days after christmas kids could be in the shops so demanding when they had just received so much, and at that time there were two children having tantrums.  I felt smug and guilty all at the same time that E was so good for me and hadn't murmered or been in the least way naughty the whole time we were there - we were there over an hour!!!  We also bought gifts for many peole there, but shes doesnt know that any were for her as it was found at the last minute and added to the pile.  All she knows is that it was all for her cousins in America!!!  Yay for them. 

Yesterday we had an at home day with a foray to the local park where she chipped her tooth!  I cannae believe it, but she actually has a bit of rust stuck into the tooth, so as soon as we get back home I will be calling the dentist and seeing what can be done.  It was a big smack that she got, but her eyes didnt even well up with water, she was great, and she also has a scratch on her eyebrow that is only noticable this mroning that I think may have happened at a similar time as her eye was red when she went to sleep last ngiht, but it looks ok.  Thankfully I did cleanse her whoel face when we got home due to the amount of mud she picked up generally while we were out.  She even had a funny dance she did in the puddles (cuz she was allowed out in her gummies).  And what a smile after each one!  It was like the sunshine peeping over the rainbow. 

Today we are hoping to head out to the big park and feed the ducks after we have played on the slide and swings.  Shall have to wait and see though, we were a little slow getting moving again this morning.  I am really in the mood for putting all the christmas pressies away, and we are not home yet and there are so many things I was going to be doing today ready for the new year and so 'start fresh'.  Will have to re-motivate my mind for a different timetable now.  E has all these things that we are going to start with her - a calendar which will help her with days of the week and a magnetic reward chart which will be more formal than our other ones because it is hers and we already have rules about it that she made this monrning.  Only Mummy is allowed to write on it for instance.  Looking forward to seeing it work.  That will be so exciting!!!

Must go get lunch on for these guys here. 
Peace
EF.x 

It was a lovely christmas here, everything has been so relaxed and family.  Mum and Dad both ahd to work, but it was ok cuz it fitted in with everything else we were doing, so we all seemed to get the best of both worlds.  It has been a bit crazy finding time to come online as we all use the computer often to check emails and do various other bits of work too.  Looks like the bathroom is free now, so I am off for a shower.  Hope everyone is having happy holidays.  Mine are pretty good.  We have had phone calls from most overseas people that we were hoping to hear from, so that is awesome.  Hopefully will hear from the rest by New Years.  Tomorrow is Mum's birthday.  Should be fun, we going shopping and oops....today we gotta clean the car.  Brrrr.  E is all wrapped up warm, maybe they will do it while I am in the shower.  LOL.  Better get going.
Peace y'all
EF.x 

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/map/index.php#

This shows where he has been and where he is up to.  I know that there are people on here who are starting christmas day as I write this - I am sorry, I didnt know about this until just now.  But there are still a few that he hasnt visited yet. 

Currently as I write this he is over Kazakhstan and heading towards the Ukraine.

Hope you all have a wonderful christmas
Peace
EF.x 

E's first christmas.  Holding Gretchen who recently has been attending pre-school with her each day.  Gretchen was made by my grandmother for my mother when she was a little girl.  So she is quite an old doll.
Peace
EF.x 

Saw "Happy Feet" today.  It was so funny.  Ther is a lot of adult content in it for such a kiddie movie, but then it is so long since I have actually seen a kiddie movie that maybe that is how it is these days.  E was great.  We found our seats and she sat nicely through the ads at the start.  Then brother arrived, so had to change seating plan as he renewed his mohawk this morning - he did it himself, so I didnt have to wake up grossly early for such frivolity.  It looks good, but he decided to sit by the wall so those behind could appreciate the film not his hair-do. 

After a little while E cuddled up on Mum's knee, which was cool and stayed there for most of the movie.  She ate her lunch that we had brought with us and had a nice drink too - all from her Minnie lunchbag.  (First time to use it for its proper reason).  Towards the end she wanted the toilet, but she didnt want to miss the movie too, so she waited nicely and as soon as the credits started rolling we disappeared off and she was so well behaved, walking nicely all the way etc.  It is funny how I worry over these things when usually there is nothing at all to concern myself over.

We kinda had a lazy afternoon and only went for a walk to deliver some mail that was incorrectly delivered to our door, but we did it real late in the afternoon so that lights were already on in the houses and we got to enjoy them in the dark of the 4pm light.  It was a great day all told.  I am very pleased with how she dealt with staying still so long as she rarely does at home and often has a little play or something in the middle.  DIfferent circumstances makes all the difference I guess.  Whew!

Also have spoken to all my brothers this week.  The one in hospital called last evening and chatted for a while, and tonight the one in america called for ages.  It was gret to just chat instead of trying to remember what important info we had to share.  He will call again on christmas morning - far too early if you ask me considering the time difference and that they are 5 hours behind us here in the UK. 

Ho hum, still witing for my fotos to load so will post them later on or tomorrow for my belated foto friday. 
Peace
EF.x 

To be safe here with my family and enjoying ourselves and heaps of plans of things to do while we are here and so little time to do them in!!!  Going to see "Happy Feet" in the morning.  Should be fun!  It will be E's first ever proper movie at the cinema, so really looking forward to it. 

I have the dubious honour (after braiding my brothers hair last night - post mohawk) of having to make his mohawk for him tomorrow morning.  Please keep ya fingers crossed for me.  I am clueless when it comes to hairdressing/styling.  Apparently it is very easy though, so I guess I shall tell you tomorrow how it went! 

Well, I am off to make up my bed and get some rest before the early morning that will be doing C's hair with the help of E - who is actually rather good at hair styles, just like her Uncle.  Between them I am sure they will set me straight.

Hope everyone is having a good time finalising preparations for christmas.  I wrapped the gifts tonight, only the one calendar left to finish making and then to wrap.
Peace
EF.x 

Yay!  We got to see santa.  I will upload the photo later on when Dad gets back to tell me where it is stored.  We Saw PJ yesterday, and went window shopping in a place my brother crowned as 'Chavs-ville' - found me some lovely boots at Timberland - have I been a good girl Santa?  Please may I have those lovely boots?  I promise to wear a skirt occasionally to show them off.  LOL  Then back here to see Santa at the mall.  Wonderful Strawberry Shortcake sticker book gift which really made her day and she was dancing around with it while we waited for her photo, and she entertained the elves nicely too!!!

Back here to decorate the tree while the boys got tea on.  What a treat.  SHe hung up all the 'special' ones.  Ones we made when we were kids, her ones that she has given them, and the grandchildren decs also.  She hung them all in a line just perfectly around the bottom.  If only her cousins were here to see. 

Right now she has gone with her Darling and Minnie (toy)  to drop Uncle C off to work.  I am home looking after the other dolls/toys who were not allowed to go.  (Her rule - only one could go in the car with her) and cleaning shoes of mud we got covered in on Sunday and not had time to clean up yet. SO I am outta here for today, may be back this evening.   Depends on if I get to the PC first - unlikely based on past experience where the boys take advantage of me putting E to bed to nip on here first.  Ah well.  I got DVD's I can enjoy instead. 

Peace
EF.x  

to Mum and Dad's place until afte Mum's birthday, then hopefully back here in time for the new year.  Am gonna miss being able to pop into Minti at all times of the day for a little light relief and a read.  But it will be gret to kick back and chill out at Mums.  My youngest brother willbe there with his Mohawk too.  I will post a pic of it if he will let me.  It is most impressive, there is one on his MySpace and it looks great. Well, better crack on with packing and dropping off keys to friends place etc.  Christmas starts here for us.  YAY!

Happy Christmas everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace
EF.x 

1) My brother joined Minti today. (finally...lol) Welcome DJFirebrand.  *hugs*
2) My Watchlist is successfully cleared.  Whew!

I am off to my parents place tomorrow at noon (ish) so will check in whlie gone, but hope that everyone has a happy safe christmas and wonderful new year.  be safe.  Careful not to drink, use mobiles etc while driving and have a genuine smile every day.  It is christmas, a time for families to be bonding. 

Tomorrow am packing in the morning after hospital appt, with my parents while E is at nursery.  Then we going to see my other brother who is in hospital in a town near me, and then we taking me shoe shopping and E to siton Santa's knee at the shopping mall before we head home, so it will be a long day, but I think we will handle it ok.

Take care y'all.
Peace
EF.x 

This is an email that has been going around recently.  It is a great eye-opener.  Please read it to the very end.  I think that it is important for adults as well as children to be aware of what the info they share can lead to when put all together. 

I have various 'faddy' security measures, but they have kept me safe for the past 10 years.  Not using my name publicly is one, not using my daughters name is another.  People scoff at me.  But I have met many people online and gone on to meet them in real life.  I know that what i does works.  I haveonly had one slightly odd meet, and hwoknows how that would have gone down had we not been in a public place....

Finally, feel freee to copy/paste the following text into an email and pass it on.

Be aware and be safe.  Have a wonderful Christmas everyone.
Peace and Love
EF.x 

 EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ ALL OF THIS and HAVE YOUR CHILDREN READ IT TOO!
 
 
 
 After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and
 get on-line. She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213. She
 checked her Buddy List and saw GoTo123 was on. She sent him an instant
 message:
 
 ByAngel213: Hi. I'm glad you are on! I thought someone was following
 me home today. It was really weird!
 
 GoTo123: LOL you watch too much TV. Why would someone be following
 you? Don't you live in a safe neighbourhood?
 
 ByAngel213: Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz' I
 didn't see anybody when I looked out.
 
 GoTo123: Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven't done that
 have you?
 
 ByAngel213: Of course not. I'm not stupid you know.
 
 GoTo123: Did you have a softball game after school today?
 
 ByAngel213: Yes and we won!!
 
 GoTo123: That's great! Who did you play?
 
 ByAngel213: We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross!
 They look like bees. LOL
 
 GoTo123: What is your team called?
 
 ByAngel213: We are the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our
 uniforms. They are really cool.
 
 GoTo123: Did you pitch?
 
 ByAngel213: No I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be
 done before my parents get home. I don't want them mad at me. Bye!
 
 GoTo123: Catch you later. Bye
 
 Meanwhile......GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search for
 her profile. When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out. He
 took out a pen and began to write down what he knew about Angel so
 far.
 
 Her name: Shannon Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985 Age: 13 State where she
 lived: North Carolina
 
 Hobbies: softball, chorus, skating and going to the mall. Besides this
 information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told him
 He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon until
 her parents came home from work. He knew she played softball on
 Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the
 Canton Cats. Her favourite number 7 was printed on her jersey. He knew
 she was in the eighth grade at the Canton Junior High School. She had
 told him all this in the conversations they had on- line. He had
 enough information to find her now.
 
 Shannon didn't tell her parents about the incident on the way home
 from the ballpark that day. She didn't want them to make a scene and
 stop her from walking home from the softball games. Parents were
 always overreacting and hers were the worst. It made her wish she was
 not an only child. Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents
 wouldn't be so overprotective.
 
 By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her.
 
 Her game was in full swing when suddenly she felt someone staring at
 her. It was then that the memory came back. She glanced up from her
 second base position to see a man watching her closely.
 
 He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when
 she looked at him. He didn't look scary and she quickly dismissed the
 sudden fear she had felt.
 
 After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the coach.
 She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him. He nodded and
 she smiled back. He noticed her name on the back of her shirt. He knew
 he had found her.
 
 Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her. It was only a few
 blocks to Shannon's home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly
 returned to the park to get his car.
 
 Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat until the time
 came to go to Shannon's house. He drove to a fast food restaurant and
 sat there until time to make his move.
 
 Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in
 the living room.
 
 "Shannon, come here," her father called. He sounded upset and she
 couldn't imagine why. She went into the room to see the man from the
 ballpark sitting on the sofa.
 
 "Sit down," her father began, "this man has just told us a most
 interesting story about you."
 
 Shannon sat back. How could he tell her parents anything? She had
 never seen him before today!
 
 "Do you know who I am, Shannon?" the man asked.
 
 "No," Shannon answered.
 
 "I am a police officer and your online friend, GoTo123."
 
 Shannon was stunned. "That's impossible! GoTo is a kid my age! He's
 14. And he lives in Michigan!"
 
 The man smiled. "I know I told you all that, but it wasn't true. You
 see, Shannon, there are people on-line who pretend to be kids; I was
 one of them. But while others do it to injure kids and hurt them, I
 belong to a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators.
 I came here to find you to teach you how dangerous it is to talk to
 people on-line. You told me enough about yourself to make it easy for
 me to find you. You name the school you went to, the name of your ball
 team and the position you played. The number and name on your jersey
 just made finding you a breeze."
 
 Shannon was stunned. "You mean you don't live in Michigan?"
 
 He laughed. "No, I live in Raleigh. It made you feel safe to think I
 was so far away, didn't it?"
 
 She nodded. "I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she
 wasn't as lucky. The guy found her and murdered her while she was home
 alone. Kids are taught not to tell anyone when they are alone, yet
 they do it all the time on-line. The wrong people trick you into
 giving out information a little here and there on-line. Before you
 know it, you have told them enough for them to find you without even
 realizing you have done it. I hope you've learned a lesson from this
 and won't do it again. Tell others about this so they will be safe
 too?"
 
 "It's a promise!"
 
 That night Shannon and her Dad and Mom all knelt down together and
 thanked God for protecting Shannon from what could have been a tragic
 situation.
 
 *****NOW*****
 
 
 Please send this to as many people as you can to teach them not to
 give any information about them selves. This world we live in today is
 too dangerous to even give out your age, let alone anything else.
 
 EVEN FORWARD THIS TO PEOPLE WITHOUT KIDS SO THEY CAN SEND IT TO
 FRIENDS THAT DO HAVE CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN.

Voting on advice and comments is something I do regularly.  But as I am working thrgouh my watchlist - yes, it is taking me all this time, wlel there was over 3 months worth - I see many questiosn throughout blogs and lounges in particular, as well as on occasion in the advice comments themselves where people are asking about it. 

I know that voting an article will help rank the author and advance them up the awards available on Minti - What a great idea.  Flatter us for our opinions.  I love it!   But do people normally vote on comments?  I tend to be vote happy I think...If you express an opinion that i respect, even if I dont agree with it I will tend to vote, cuz good on ya for contributing.  If I am wrong to do so then I apologise - that is a lot of comments I have put my green stamp on!!!  The only time I dont tend to vote is if I havent got much time here, so am concentrating on a certain thing (last weekend was clearing watchlist - and it is carrying on this week.  I want it cleared by christmas so I can start over in the new year...LOL)

I so enjoy seeing people get involved here on Minti.  It makes the experince of being here so much more rewarding,and alsomakes me feel better for being so opinionated and butting in with my thoughts all the time.  Well, just wanted to place down my thought about my voting style so it is out there and not just here with me all the time.
Peace
EF.x 

Desperately seeking a short pastry recipe for our mince pies that E is set on making (we did it together last year).  She has been asking all morning ever since she saw me at her pre-school.  and now I cant find the recipe, though i have got the pie tins and stuff all ready to go.  Ijsut cant rememebr it regardless of how many times we made it before.  I know most of the ingredients and think I have everything...i hope.
Am also searching online to see what I can come up with, but so far zilch.
can anyone help me???
Peace
EF.x 

Oh man, I had this morning all planned out.  I was to sort some trhing, take E to pre-school, have a lovely long bath and a short sleep then go pick her up beofre coming home to wrap some gifts, have lunch and go to deliver them.....

Get to pre-school, they are having their concert today.  9:30-11am.  I didnt know   E isnt dressed all christmassey, although she is in her favourite pink dress which I guess is a good start.  But all morning she has not wanted to go to pre-school just stay home andhave snuggles.  Then they are asking me about her 'Santa pressie'.  What?   I thought Santa was coming tomorrow...and I had no idea that I was required to go buy a gift.  What size?  Do i need to pay to get into concert today? HOW DID I MISS THIS MEMO?????

So it is 9:05.  I race out of pre-school, call my dad for advice, remember there is some little thing at home that i can wrap up so sorted on that.  I text those who need texting including god-parents who will get a good laugh out of this muddle.  Sleep?  bath?  Tough.  I jump through the bath when i get hom (amusing since it is so fast that i wonder why i bothered) Find a nice blouse to wear to mark this special day that it has become. 

My girls first christmas concert!!! and i didnt know so didnt plan.  Oh Gee!  Gift is located and wrapped.  That was quick and easy considering how it could have been, but it was already out ready to sort this evening.  I get back to pre-school 5 mins late. 

Where is E?  Being so late has meant that i have to stand at the back and i cannot see her cuz she is around the corner.  Located by the husband of a friend of mine.  I creep closer and get a peek, she is joining in nicely, but i cant get a clear view for a snapshot.  Finally they join hands in a circle to dance around the tree. 

I manage to get to the front of all theparents and find a corner to hide in that also means i can take pics.  I take my first picture, she is opposite me and cannot see me, but then she looks up.  She waves and I blow her a kiss.  She sends one back, then thurns to her teacher and starts to cry!  How rude!  She wants to go home.  Aww.  We did stay till the end, and it was better once her best friend arrived at 10:30 for the Father Christmas appearance.  So on and off we enjoyed cuddles and snuggles and then she would go join in again.  As long as she could see me it was ok.  I wish I hadnt moved and that she could have not known I was there.  Ah well. 

She loves her Santa present.  It is now full of the unhealthy nourishment we have packed for the long car trip on weds to see my brother in hospital and then home to my parents place.  There is enough there for everyone in the car!!!  But it is good that we have a use for the bag too. 

Now she would like to make mince pies this afternoon.  I have the mince meatr, but i had not been intending to do them this year.  If I do a few though then I can give a few to friends and neighbours before we go away I guess. 

Must get on again now.  But had to get out what happened this morning.  I was stricken when i didnt know about the concert.  I didnt know what to do with myself.  But it is all good now.
Peace
EF.x 

Last night I looked over a couple of old articles trying to improve them to the standard that this iste seems to now be accostomed.  But gee!  It was hard work.  I did what I could, but think I will have to really address this again another day. 

I am so impressed by the standard of advice articles written that are increasingly raising the standard of the site.  I just hope that I will continue to provide the kind of thing for everyone else to appraciate that i am enjoying from your input. 

Right, well I got a fw christmas things to sort just now, back later on.
Peace
EF.x 

Many people on my friends list have been on Minti more recently so I just want to give you all a shout out and say Hi!  It is good to see you around and I hope that you will keep popping in and sharing life in this community. 

It is a great support to me certainly and I have made some wonderful friends here already.  Even internationally!  YAY.  I love making friends and getting to know different people and expanding my horizons.

So welcome one and all. 
Peace
EF.x 

I do believe that I have bombarded all my Minti friends with a greeting now.  If I have missed someone out I apologise, you may pitch up and demand an extravaganza for the oversight!  I am off for some well earned sleep now and a smile on my face cuz things are resolved now after my awful day.  Oh love is a great thing - as long as it is real.
Anyhow.  I hoep that everyone truly does have a lovely christmas with great memories of childrena dn family times.
Peace
EF.x 

How come I can share a viewpoint with someone, but when I try to enlarge my perception all they see is differences and read differences into what I am saying ignoring the similarities.  OK.  It has been a day of it today.  That convo went badly, and although it feels worse than it really is I feel crap as a result (well i hope it is better than it feels anyhow.)  I just wish i could understand the other perspective instead of feeling attacked for getting muine so terribly wrong.  It is not my fault that I suffered white on white racism in my formative years, nor that my family were also suffering similar.  Life is like that sometimes.  Doesnt mean it doesnt cannot happen. 

Then I get a phone call to say that although my brother was accepted into the army a month ago apparently now he is kicked out before he even starts because he is a carrier of a condition that 95.9 percent of the populatin carry and it is only because he had an eye problem years ago that it got picked up on, and it wont recur, but his doctor told the army that it might recur, and so now he is out.  He is dealing with it by binge drinking and staying out all night.  Mum is worried and Dad aint impressed and generally we are just angry.  It feels like everything good that happens in our lives is taken from us as soon as we lay claim to it.  Mum likened us to Job in the bible today.  and I could see her point even though it felt dramatic.  Thing is I dont fancy the suffering Job suffered, although looking at the past 5 years of my life I have been through similar bad nasty stuff and then some. 

Tonight I am painting more glassware for christmas pressies, but my heart is not in it and I feel like my creativity has gone down the drain.  Still have to make the calander for my parents fit together and confirm we have all the bits neeed.  I know we still need hand and feet prints on that, so gonna have to knuckle down and do that tomorrow.  Not looking forward to it as only have wrong paints to use now.  Ah well. It will still look good, just be a harder mess to clean off her feet and hands. 

Sorry, I feel blah.  I have realised that I have some money set aside today, not much, but it is better than nothing, and now i cant share the joy of the discovery because of that bad convo.  I feel like a heel. Why do I live in love and hope.  Why cant I accept that life is as it is and just settle for what I have?  Oh!  I am so ungrateful.  Really need to sort out my head and my attitudes and be glad for what we have. 

hmm, yes, i am in the rain, but is it the rain of despair or of all those blessings raining down on me I cant even count them???

Count my blessings: 
health?  not really - half a tick
e?  full tick - she is a darling
job? nope
family? yes - half a tick, there is a lot of suffering right now although we are still strong
irl friends? half a tick - i am a lil cynical about why they are my friends
online friends? full tick.  they are always dependable - but then they are online as well....lol
money?  nope
food? nope (cupboards been bare for two days now - will get something tomorrow hopefully)
love? yes
hope? dwindling
faith? yes
trust? yes
wow.  what a happy healthy life I have.  I am glad that I have love, trust and faith, as well as the family and friends that I know I can rely on.  I guess I have all the ingredients that I need even if I want to settle my rumbling tum!

Let's see how tomorrow pans out.  It is a new day.  Fresh start and all that.  I cant wait.  Bring it on.
Peace
EF.x 

E walking Alfie, the dog we were house sitting with and caring for in August 2006.
Peace
EF.x 

"The road to success is marked with many tempting parking spaces."

But this time I aint gonna park, I am gonna keep on going and I am fgonna be positive and succeed in my dreams and hopes and visions for my future.  Because if i dont then what other motivation do I have to do anything? 

Peace
EF.x 

I have such a lot to be thankful for this week.

1) Thank you to Minti.  Thank you to rachel for the idea, to Clay and Matthew for helping her get it going, and to all those who work with you guys to maintain it.  It is wonderful
2) Thank you to all the friends I have made this week, online, on Minti, and in my life outside.  (Mums at pre-school have even been talking to me at lst.  YAY!)
3) Thank you to my parents for saying that they will come through to pick us up next week when we go to theirs for christmas and do a major detour around to see my brother in hospital.  They are such great parents making time to travel the extra distance, esp. when they going to see him earlier in the day as well.  Major trekkage.  They are great.
4) Thank you to S.  Just because but mostly for just being you.
5) Thank you to E for being so amazin and  for loving me regardless how crazy life gets for us here.
6)  Thank you to me for giving myself a break and for actually getting a wriggle on with making the rest of the christmas pressies which I hadnt given though to until today.  Finally - and not to late either.....LOL

I am sure that there are other thing, but these are the main ones.  It has been a great week.
Peace
EF.x 

I am not perfect.  I do screech - the other night was classic actually.  I was so tired and she asked me the same question five times in a row without listening to the answer given to the first asking.  And I just got fed up in the end, esp as it was right on bedtime and it was becoming a bedtime avoidance thing because she was so tired.  I dunno what the neighbours thought!!! 

But I always wait to mete out punishment until i have thought through the consequences of what I am doing.  If I dont know I will often ask her.  This week we have started having problems with her listening to me.  She just asks and doesnt listen for the answer and it leads to me feeling frustrated that I have so much on (which this week i do) and I give her my attention just to waste my time, that aint fair.  Esp when i make such an effort to give her time and she knows that I do. 

So we have together devised a tick/cross system and most of the ideas are hers for what she gets ticks and crosses for.  It was enlightening to have her thoughts on what she thought were her good things and bad things.  All of which need working on eg putting away toys is something she usually does 3/4 of, but not the last coupleof toys though, so if all are done she gets a tick.  If she is mean she gets a cross.  A cross cancels out a tick.  She needs so many ticks per day to be allowed half an hour on the Cbeebies that she enjoys so much. 

Trial and error is such a big part of parenting isnt it?  Sometimes when i get frustrated with the computer being poorly behaved i will make a frustrated sound of some sort and she will come over and put her head on my arm and look at me with big soulful eyes.  "It is ok mummy, the computer will start being good soon.  Please dont say naughty words to it"  Well, faced with that I do smile and take a deep breath and we carry on. 

Life is great. 
Peace
EF.x 

I had this friend over this morning for a coffee.  We been trying to make a date for ages, but life and funerals kept getting in the way.  So finally it happened, we sit down, coffee inhand and catch up - lots of catching up as it happens.  Anyhow, about half way through and I get a phone call.  I know that this is one I must answer - in my gut.  You know how sometimes you just know?  So I answer.  It is E's dad. 

I cant believe it is him at first. I mean, what does he want now? 

Him:  *grunt noise by way of greeting.* "Should I get E a christmas card?" 
Me:  "Yes.  Why not?"
Him: "Well if she really doesnt like me what is the point?"
Me: "To show her in years to come that you cared for her even though she didnt believe it?"
Him: "Yea.  Ok.  But if she really doesnt like me why should I bother?"
Me:  "It is up to you.  If you love her send her a card.  She will appreciate it one day."
Him: "I dont think I will bother then"
Me: "OK.  It is up to you."
Him:  "Is it ok with you if I go to Glasgow for christmas and New Year?"
Me:  *wtf???* "Um, sure.  that is fine.  It is nothing to do with me"
Him:  "Yeah, well I wanted you to know anyhow"
Me:  "uh huh"

I mean, does he really need permission from his ex of so many years ago when he already has a new family probably more times over than i care to know about and isnt even taking care of them, to go away for christmas and new year???

My friend is convinced that he doesnt want anything to do with E because he loves me.  Poor kid.  Why should she suffer because of that?  It isnt as if he ever behaved like he loved me.  Though 'in his own way' I guess I was the only one so far he ever did love.  I just wish he cold find himself again and be happy with himself as a person.  Maybe then he would do the right thing by any or all of his children. 

I agree E is wary of him, he always lets her down, makes promises to visit and doesnt follow through.  She isnt stupid, children arent.  She knows he isnt really interested.  Poor thing.  Thankfully she is over the side effects of the abandonment thing now.  She has wrong ideas about him based on her perception of incidents that were wrongly interpreted, but she saw what she saw each time and that is all she knows.  Esp as she was far too young at that time to rationalise or see things from a different perspective. 

We talk about him occasionally and I speak only good things - he is her dad after all, and he is an alright guy, just messed up.  At the end of the day although he hurt me he had his messed up reasons, so I dont hate him.  Just feel sad that he listens to his friends lies so much (mostly about himself - degrading his self-esteem etc).  But he did hurt E a lot and it is my hope that one day she will be able to meet the man I knew, not what is there now.  But a man proud and sure of himself.  But although she can talk nicley of him on occasion she is still not interested in seeing him or speaking to him on the phone - not that we have any contact info...LOL

Ah well, this is a bit of a negative blog.  I am so not feeling negative today either.  So sorry about that folks.  I hope you are all having a lovely day and that christmas preparations are all good.
I arranged with E's pre-school manager to laminate one of her pieces of art work so I can do this calander for my brother - it has taken me all this time to get it done as was unable to do it at my friends place.  Never mind.  As long as it happens in time.  Tomorrow morning is perfect.  Just gotta remember to take it - am also gonna give them the rest of my minti coasters to give to parents so will need to write off for some more in the new year.  YAY!  I really hope that the people who already haveone sign up.  I have kinda given them out a bit rendomly, but i hope appropriately also.

Well, best get making the rest of the art work for the big calander.
Peace
EF.x 

Am just brainstorming here because I cannot find pen and paper and at least I know I will not lose Minti!!!

"You take one (or more) stars each day and for each one you make a wish, something positive that we can do together in the future...no regrets for the past allowed.  For each wish you make be sure to write it downand stick your star in beside the entry.  When we meet up we can go through and choose one wish to make come true each day/week/month.  Slowly but surely each one of our wishes will be answered. 

Please do this with me.  It will make each passing day go easier.
Happy Christmas."
 
This is an idea i have to send someone for christmas (in case you didnt work that out) but need to work on the wording so it is clear and not waffly.  My intention is that the days will pass quicker and happier...LOL.  Time will tell.
Peace
EF.x 

This was sent to my inbox the other day, and it made me realise how
fortunate I am in my life for the friends that have lasted the distance.
I mean, at christmas time we really remember the people who matter
to us, even if we only express it in an annual christmas card with the
informative chatty letter that catches up on all relevant and irrelevant
news of the year just past, or the people we meet up with for a
coffee once a month. I am grateful to all my friends for sure.
I know I would be a total nutcase without them - especially my boys.
Read on and enjoy.... PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON

I am sending this to you to see how many actually read their e-mail.
Your response will be interesting. Pay attention to what you
read. After you have finished reading it, you will know the reason it was
sent to you. Here goes:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When
you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you
have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to
provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there
for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your
part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to
bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk
away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must
realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is
done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move
on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has
come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make
you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually
give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only
for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must
build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to
accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in
all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is
blind but friendship is clairvoyant

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason,
a season or a lifetime.
Peace.x

(This is copied from my MySpace blog)

Christmas is a killer time huh?  Brings back all sadness/regrets - even if you think you dont have any there is a wistfulness about the season and a certain meloncholy at times. 

I adore christmas, the magic, the fun, the hope.  The secrets and surprises.  Talking of which E has not spoken to my parents in nearly two weeks now, i think because she has too many secrets she doesnt want to spill!!!

It is also a time for family.  To catch up, write that yearly letter of newsy bits, travel abscene distances to be together, or whatever it takes. 

But then my ego gets the hump.  I am so busy making christmas special for everyone else that I havent done anything for me.  Personally this is a yearly cycle.  I always forget myself.  So I make up for it by making New Years for me.  OK.  So it is another evening, alone, but it has a major difference, I decide what i want to do in my life this year.  What do I want to achieve forme? 

Since I graduated I wanted to be a 'lady'.  I was so much a tomboy and 'pretty' enough to get away with no makeup really tha I never bothered.  My personality seems to make up for the deficits in my physical structure.  LOL.  But I wanted to earn the right to have a handbag. 

Earn it.  Yes.  I am serious.  I still keep my phone in one back pocket, my cash card in the other back pocket, keys in my jacket and I am out the door.  I dont need a handbag, cuz i keep everything on my person.  I forget a bag if I carry one.  It is awful. 

2006 New Years Aim.  Well.  I was to wear lippy and my watch every single day.  Regardless if we were going out, staying in, having a slob day, whatever, those two things must be done as part of my personal campaign to become a lady.  My reward was to get my ears pierced.  (Still aitn done that bit yet)  But I did pass my 6 months!!!!!  Then we packed to move house, and didnt move, so everything is still packed, only last week did I rescue my lippy bag, but that is ok.  I know that I can do it every day if I need to.  I have been getting dry lips again as well, so the lippy has been helping with that also. 

2007 New Years Aim.  Is going to be to wash my bathtub every day - twice!!!!!  Yup.  Apparently it is great for the abs, and since I dont go to the gym - no time and no dosh - but I want to exercise those muscles and try to get back to a sembelence of what I was.  So my aim is to do this twice a day.  It is possible, i did it in the past, but then life got busy and i got slack.  So how much do I want to be fit and healthy?  I also have my skipping rope which I can use to do skipping and I can continue with the usual rounds of situps and pressups.  In total these exercises will take less than a half hour each day.  But if done properly will do wonders for me...in theory! 

So my ego is soothed.  I am doing something for moi.  I am achieving my aims in my frivolous personal way which makes giving so much to everyone else ok.  Cuz I still receive my own treats and rewards.  Oh.  good point.  What is to be my reward for sticking out the bathtub routine twice a day?  hmmm, maybe get a new outfit.  Could do a day at a spa or something, though I am sure I aint really in a place to do that yet.  Maybe that weekend in the Bahamas for $300.  yea, that sounds good, and a new tankini.  Although then there would still be the £270 airfare from the Uk as well.  Shall have to wait and see.  But it sounds reasonable right now. 

Self-respect. 
Self-confidence.
Self-esteem.

Only I can teach myself this, only I can belie