Thank you to everyone who left birthday greetings for me.  E and I had a lovely day and E learnt how to actually blow out candles safely and successfully! 
Peace
EF.x 

"A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside."
~Denis Waitley~

This was from a random note sent to me today.  I thought it was kinda like me since I put a lot of value on a smile, so decided to share it with you; my faithful readers.  I hope that today finds you with a smile in your heart that shines through so that all who see you benefit from it and your heart is lifted even higher.

I went to the shop and bought a PINK magazine for E this morning, a slab cake (cuz I forgot to make a birthday cake), some 'After Eights' and a bottle of fizzy drink.  A special treat for E that she is not used to yet and doesn't like enough to have more than two small third sized cups of.  She is so lovely. 

My finger nails are blue, cuz we found a nail varnish this morning and didnt know where it came from, so tried it out,and it is strange having coloured finger nails, esp when I am typing, i keep seeing them flash under my eyes and wonder what is happening to my keyboard!!  Silly moi!
Have a good days guys
Peace
EF.x  

Now we all have routine drummed into us while we are pregnant, get your child into a routine, regular feeding, sleeping, play times etc.  But how hard is it to do?  I have had countless people judge and criticise me because i will not go to an evening meeting and drag her along with me because it is 'after her bedtime and so not in her routine.  They say, so what?  Forget it for one night,yes, and what about the next night and the next???

In our home E has actually set her own routines since the day she was born, and I have followed and enforced them.  As she has grown up she has needed different amounts of daytime sleep,sometimes a morning nap suited better than an afternoon one, other times none was needed at all, depends as much on if she is in a growth spurt or if we are active or not.  Many things have affected her routine in the past.  Letting her make it has been great.  It really came home to me this weekend while we were with my family how much of a routine we have, and how solid it is.

Her current routine (when we are home) is:

• 5-6am.  Get up and give mummy kisses and cuddles.  Go into the lounge to turn on the telly and play a while. 
• 6-7am.  Rouse mummy enough for brekky,and then after brekky get dressed.
• 7-9am.  Get ready for pre-school,make bed, bath/hairwash if needed (mummy is needed for this bit) and style hair for today
• 9-12noon.  Preschool/gymnastics
• 12-1pm.  Lunch and restful play/reading
• 1-4pm.  Go out if mummy well enough, craft time, 'schooltime', and play or DVD
• 4-6pm. Teatime, helping in the kitchen, get into PJ's, last of the toys away, watch 'bedtime telly'
• 7pm.  clothes out for tomorrow, read bedtime story, pink milk, brush teeth, go to toilet and bed.
• 7:15pm snoring and sound asleep.

I keep to this routine, it is relaxed, but if I dont send her to bed at 7pm and do the things that she likes to do as mentioned above she will be sound off on the sofa or even the floor by 7:30-45pm anyhow.   recently she has taken to making herself a 'nest' to curl up in, it is so cute!  And I will just transfer her to bed up to half an hour later, or as soon as i realise and it is incredible.  I have tried to keep her up as a treat on a saturday evening to watch some program together or a movie we both enjoy - no go.  Bedtime is just part of her inner workings.

I especially keep to this routine when we are visiting friends and family.  It is slightly more structured because we are away and people never eat at 5pm like we do, so it is more of a rush and I am clock watching like crazy, but if she stays up late because she is excited she also gets too hyper and into that stage that leads to it all ending in tears.  Thankfully we only stay with people who ignore this and we can just carry on.  They know that it is not bad behaviour, just the change of scenery and that tomorrow night, should we be staying more than one night she will be sorted.  Also when we have people to stay she is good about bedtime, and in the mornings instead of coming in to turn on the telly she will find one toy to play with, and play on her bed or sometimes on mine until it is time for breakfast.

Peace
EF.x 

Yay!  New look Minti!  How cool is this? 

We had a lovely weekend at home - hardly saw Mum and dad,but ate loads of really good food,finished the squares for the dolly blanket - so I truly remember how to knit, so neat!  and made an awesome poster to decorate the lounge for my birthday party which ended up just being us kids and E. 

Some friends of my brother wanted to come see me and take me out tonight for my birthday, but life aint that sweet, had to be home now....ah well.  Maybe shall catch up with them next time i am home,it is funny how all my 'friends' there I have met through him.  But they are cool, and the people i knew obviously aint worth the effort if they cant call and say hi when I am in town .....lol.

Must go watch this video on my new DVD/VCR player that they all got me.  It is working perfectly well, so i am very happy.  Shall check in tomorrow and try catch up with you all
Peace
EF.x 

Gotta go home now.  train leaves at 2.  I really dont feel strong enough and am worried that mum will be sleeping tomorrow and e will be all energetic....oh dear.  but she (mum) wants us there.  Gonna put the meat back in the fridge now and hope it lasts the weekend so I can cook on monday for my birthday instead of cooking today and making it nice and ready for reheating on monday.  Ah well.  Life is good- I am just too tired to see ti at this moment. Oh gross, clothes in the washing machine - urgh!  Too late, shall just have to rewash when we get back....what silly worries i have
Have a good weekend guys and I will catch up with you all on monday.
Peace
EF.x 

E was just playing before bedtime and got me to tie a bow around her car pencil case for the present, she disappeared off to finish her game, then suddenly came into me here and sang happy birthday and gave me my 'birthday present'  All she told me though was "I didnt tie the bow you know".  LOL.  So sweet, now I have to convince her to find me something 'real'.  ah me, then there is mothers day to get for as well....have missed out on three of four mothers days, dont intend to miss out on this one.
Peace
EF.x 

Well,this is a new one on me, so I am gonna give it a bash.  I read tracey's blog post IDSR.  A new positive parenting game idea for those who blog.  So I thought i would give it a go.  Often I feel like i get it all wrong because I am a single mum and have to play good cop bad cop all the time, so things that i would love to discipline or come down hard on are passed over for the things that are more important. 

Often I get it wrong, and naturally that gets me down cuz i fear my lovely girl may turn out a monster.  And then we have days like these past two days - oh man!  Where has my good lil girl gone?  Ok.  She is bored and fed up of mummy being too tired to take her to the park each day as we used to before i got tired, so now when I sleep she slightly does a few things wrong.  

Then when I read this blog of Traceys I realised that this is just what I need.  I need to recognise the achievements and the good times and that the bad times are just learning curves, not 'scary bad omens' for the future. 

So TMM wrote this the other day to me: (you can find the full post here)
"I cannot give you enough praise for being such a present and aware parent.  You clearly make connecting with your daughter a priority as evidenced by her telling you when you guys need to talk.  Way to go!!!!!  I'm sure that your availability and willingness to discuss her concerns during this difficult situation with her dad are extremely comforting and make her feel safe and loved.  Keep up the fantastic work!  You are doing a FANTASTIC job!!!!   Your love and commitment to her is quite clear in your comments, articles and blog as is your desire to constantly be a better parent.  A good parent is one who recognizes there are things they could do better and strives to find ways to improve.  Parenting is a process that is as different for each of us as the personalities of our children.  Not to mention that you are doing it on your own!  You need to give yourself a HUGE pat on the back...I know I do!"

Thank you for writing it to me.  ♥hugs♥ 

So what do I do well as a parent?  I talk to my daughter.  I listen to what she says.  I explain to her when she does something wrong why it was wrong, or if it is something good why especially it is good and remarkable.

According to the game I now need to translate this into a piece of advice....shall mull for a day or so and see what I can work out.  And then shall also 'tag' a few people.  Watch out guys...

Thanks Tracey for this idea.  I am really looking forward to seeing what others manage to turn out as well!!!
Peace
EF.x 

About a week ago now I received an email threatening to take me to court for visitation rights concerning E.  It freaked me a lil at the time because it makes no sense.  I have never denied access, though I admit to discouraging it in the past year because of E's total lack of liking and trusting and anything good to do with him.  Since then I have received further emails and he even came by the front of my place to speak through the security intercom system to threaten me again - just in case I hadnt got the message already I guess. 

Why? 

• He never voluntarily spent time with her in the past.  It was cuz I had noone else while I was working and he wasnt working, so he might collect her from child care once a week - I only worked 2-3 days.  Or other similar instances. 
  
• He disowned her about easter time last year, in an abusive phone call that was witnessed by a christian friend of mine who nearly flew out the window with the venom of my language when I got off the call....i dont take it well when people accuse me of cheating etc.
  
• He believes his friends over anyone else, including himself. It is so sad.
• He refused to send her a christmas card cuz what was the point?  he doesnt love her
• He has never given any support,and last years call was apparently due to the fact that he had a job and didnt want to support her cuz'she aint his'.  yea right, she looks just like him.
• Legally she is born (mere months) before the days of shared custody so he actually has no rights, only the legal right to pay maintanence for her.  Therefore all the cards are in my hand....if he wants court, so be it, but it would be much better for him to do a private arrangement via our solicitors.

Oh how sad this all is.  Just had to get this out.  Sorry to splurge sadness and grief here.  Life is good and I am hoping to contact the solicitor tomorrow finally. 

Peace
EF.x 

A wish is something I do each day
It helps me hope and wait
For the day to come with the chance to make
My wish and dream come true

It takes a deal of vigilence
To wait and wait so long
But it is worth it, for the day
When in reality my wish comes true

I have so many wishes now
All locked up in my heart
And all day long I watch and wait
Ready for that time to come

When those dreams come true
And all the wishes too
Come to my reality and
Are released from within my soul

© EF.x 
18thFeb.  2007

really and truly, I have caught up on so much and it has been such a leasure that I hadnt realised how much time I had spent on here working through things.  I am truly mintied out now though.  Shall check in again tomorrow afternoon likely. 

Thank you all for keeping it so interesting, educational, informative and fun around here
Peace
EF.x 

Around the world in 80 minutes!  I have just had the most fantastic journey atround the world through various blogs I was catching up on.  rachel heading off to San Fran and planning the trip, Chele is moving house, house on the market, sold and mum moving in to help with the move - I mean, how cool is that! 

Then there were all the gorgrous anecdotes of how children are growing and developing, from 7weeks old to several years what new things they are learning about and so on.  It has just blown me away!  Now that i return to the world of me and E and it is bedtime routine etc and I am loathe to leave because i like this little world where so much is happening.

Then I remember that it is by living in this real world that this comfortable world of Minti exists and so much development and change is chronicled.
Thanks guys for all these glimpses into your lives and the stories you have told.  We,, *dusts off hands*  that is my blogs all caught up with for the moment, as well as group forums, now it is approaching the groups themselves...eeeeeeeeeeeeek!  Then I might venture into the world of the lounges....lol. 
What are you doing this weekend?
Peace
EF.x 

Well, as you may remember I started the FlyLadies tips in the new year, not as a new years resolution, but more because the first thing i saw was how to shine my sink, something that I had done before I went away for christmas, and two weeks later I came back and it looked mank. I was so upset.  It rewally deflated me, so when I found the flylady cleaning shining regime I have used it.  Today I have just realised that it is as beautiful as it was when I left it a week ago.  (Yesterday we ate takeout, so there were only a couple of cups, so I didnt wash up last night).  Now I have washed up and shined up again and I am happy, so had to shar with you all.  If you aint a flybaby, this is one thing worth making a habit, even if you dont subscribe to the whole nine yards, and if you a flybaby already - keep it up kids, this satisfactions is worth more than money can buy!!!
Gotta jet, E is calling me to have a bath....
Peace
EF.x 

The idea is that each half-term E and I try out a new craft.  This half term we bought a knitting kit that was aged 3+.  Perfect for us.  Me who doesn't know how to knit - oops, didn't.  I learnt!  And E who has been expressing an interest in knitting for a few weeks now.  She managed to loop the wool over the needle a few times for mum and i while we did the main bulk of the knitting.  I am several peggy squares towards a dolly blanket now and we completed the scarf shown below, I cast off which was a great achievement and one that I am very proud of considering I have been learning to knit essentially for about 25 years now....lol.  It is a dolly scarf and Nurse Minnie was our model.  Apologies for the enhanced colour on the images - it was late at night and I am too tired today to play and get it right.  Had to share though, cuz if nothing else I learnt a new skill that I have never before been able to retain.
   
Peace
EF.x 

Hi guys.  Yes, I am back home safe and sound again.  It was a mainly uneventful journey home although these past two days my ears have insisted on staying blocked and I feel like I am permanently up a mountain trying to yawn and do whatever I can to hear again.  It is kinda like being spaced out i imagine.  I keep feeling like I am yelling or whispering at people although my brother assures me that I was speaking normally!  Nonetheless I keep reminding E that i am partially deaf, which she delights in by yelling heaps and shouting at me. 

As I mentioned it was mainly uneventful because this delightful deaf personage lost the precious New Zealand scarf that Nana gave to E two christmasses ago.  E loves it, it is purple and cerise, so it is totally E and she is devastated.  My brother went back to find it along the road we had come along, and he saw a little girl walking along with one he thought was very similar, so we are hoping that if the lady did give it to her little girl that she looks after it heaps and that they get a lot of love and warmth from it as we did.  This is helping E accept that she may not see it again and that the hat will just have to be worn alone from now on. 

As for the rest of today.  I am gonna lie down and try watch 'Bambi' with E.  She has waited so patiently this week for us to get it back to our place for her to watch.  Mum and Dad are enjoying themselves in Florida visiting our family there.  Well, we assume they are as we have heard nothing to the contrary.  Oh!  I learnt how to knit!!!  How cool is this?  I can actually cast on, knit a few rows, not lose (or add) any stitches and cast off again, and I can start up again a day later and still remember what to do!!!  This has been my failing in the past to not remember how to do it when I pick it up again.  Shall post some pics tomorrow when I manage to locate them.

Thank you all for missing me.  I hope you all had lovely valentines days with your families and partners.  Looking forward to catching up with everyones news over the weekend.
Peace
EF.x 

Well, we were meant to be, but Mum and Dad are disappearing off to see my brother and his family for valentines day and the christening of my nephew....so we are off in about 8 hours from now, i really need to get to bed, got a grahics lesson in 3.5 hours and then gotta be ready for Dad when he arrives to pick us up.  How kind is that!  We were meant to be catching the bus!  But he is coming all the way here to collect us now which is so cool.  So yea, then we are down on the south coast for a couple of days, gonna catch up with a few friends, and then it is back here next thursday.  No internet access from tuesday-thursday - well until I get abck here...lol...so there will be hundreds and thousands of emails....ah well, life goes on and i will get around to them by the end of the weekend I am sure.  So yea.  Have a great week guys, E and I are off galavanting again and it is gonna be great!
Peace
EF.x 

We went out on Thursday afternoon with a couple of teenagers from our old church and made this magnificent snowman!!! (Snow-woman I mean, the clothing is all pink, and the hat had a pink heart at the front)
E loved making up games of baseball and catch and so on with the snowballs - more often than not as soon as I got the idea of one game she was onto explaining and playing the next with the girls and in the end i was relegated to caring for the snowman so she didn't get lonely cuz I was just too slow on the uptake.  Thank you my darling daughter.  I love you too!!!
Peace
EF.x 

Just read a piece of advice about tampons and remember when we were in american visiting my brother and sister in law a couple of years ago now.  E was 17 months and was unpacking my suitcase in their lounge cum dinging kitchen area while we were all in the bedroom with the new baby (my adorable nephew). 

Anyhow, Mum ad fdad had disappeared off to their hotel by this time and we were just chilling.  i went back into the lounge to set up the beds etc and found E sat on the floor, legs astride and a tampon in her hand (wrapper still on thankfully) trying to insert it inside her nappy.  Sister-in-law walked in behind me and we just both laughed and laughed, poor E realised we were laughting 'at' her, and started crying, not realising she had done wrong.  Ah dear.  That was really a moment to capture, although thankfully for her we didnt get it on film.

Just had to share
Peace
EF.x 

SO I have had this brainwave.  E has been expressing an interest in knitting - go figure, the one craft that I jsut cant ever seem to remember once I learn it.  But she is only little still, so am thinking maybe it is too adventureous! 

It is half term here next week, and I have decided to go to hobbycraft/toysrus/pundshop wherever stocks craft kits and start this new tradition where each half term holiday we do a new craft kit.  There are ones for all different abilities, and she loves making things as much as i do, so it will be great fun to develop out craft skills as well as all the other educational benefits there are for E, like dexterity and attention to detail, and concentrating for periods of time and and and so on.  SO many things.  

Just gotta go shopping tomorrow or saturday now to buy one.  Am thinking some kinda simple threading or beading type kit will suit us this time round.  To me this also ties into achieving the TAC with something different, new and exciting for the holiday times and gives us a project to work towards.

Well, gotta get cards made now for cousins - they were painted yesterday, so now the rest of the art work needs completing so we can send them with mum and dad next week.  How exciting this all is!!!
Peace
EF.x 

So we get home this morning and there are the skittles animals all lined up inthe window watching the snow fall.  The only time I EVER played with any dolls when I was a child was when there was a storm happening, and I would line them up on the window sill to watcht he colours and the marvels of nature.  When E was about 4 months old we had her first thunder storm, and people had joked that i would do the same with her, and I adamently said i wouldnt - but she was awake when it started.....so i did....lol.  She loved it, and we still sit in the window sill together watching the weather. 

So to rewind.  I was woken at 6am by E (who it appears had been up ages already) coming gently into the room to say that it was snowing.  Goodness only knows how many times she tried to tell me before i surfaced!!!  It was snowing, and it is deep - which is unusual in this area because we are in the valley and very protected.  So I come online and check school closures.  Hers is not mentioned, ... so we get ready for school, ... out the door on time, ... but she plays snowballs all the way, ... she has gummies on, (thankfully) ... the snow is over her boots in some places!!! ... we get to pre-school just as the bell is ringing ... there are no cars, ... ... ... there are no footrpints .... ... ... not even going up the preschool hill ... ... ... or on the drive ... ... ... we go up the drive just to play in the unmarked snow ... ... lol... ... then we go to main reception.  ...the receptionist knows me now... lol... she lets us in and says no school today or tomorrow. ....I am so surprised.....then i remember, ... it slowly dawns on me ... there was a letter sent home recently ... ... ... building work is starting net week, and they are using these two days to get things set up!!!

Doofus mama!!!

So we are heading home, and i feel bad that she is not gonna get to play with her friends all day until three oclock which she has checked with me countless times that she will be collected at 3 o'clock!  So we head for the park, there are two boys there playing snowmen and snowball fights, we throw some more snowballs and she goes down the slide.  The boys are making a big snowman, although it is only small right now.

Soon we go home (after about 5 mins).  E is frozen through, we are half way home and she is crying because her hands are so frozen!!!  We get home, i strip her in the bathroom and get her wraped up all warm and nice, within 15 mins she is warm and toasty and ready to get back out there again.  Then joy of all joys, I get a call from the vicar!  He just wants to see how we are, so we catch up, then his girls are off school, would they like to talk to me....heh.  Dont you hate being put on the phone like that?  But a plan forms in my mischevious mind!  Now we are picking up the girls at 2pm and going out to make a snowman with E for an hour! 

Totally cool.  E is so excited she cant wait and she keeps dragging me off to do all the things i was meant to do today that mostly are not going to happen now that we have clothes draped everywhere drying and she is around so cannot concentrate sufficiently, maybe next weekend .... lol. 

So now I am off to clean the bathroom - the bits I can reach, and pack our bags for our week away.  Looking forward to being away, but gonna miss the evening chat times, having said that i have a few books and my crossstitch packed, so I am sure I wont get bored.  Shall miss y'all, and all my MSN groups as well, but hey, a break is a great thing, so shant be sad. 

Hope all in the UK are enjoying the snow and that everyone everywhere has a great weekend!!!
I just cant get over how deep it is, i have not seen snow this deep since I was in NZ as a child.
Peace
EF.x 

So you know when ou have to share half of something you cut it in half and give the other person the choice of which half right?  But when children are little you can do uneven halves and take the larger and they wont notice. 

Well.  I got caught out.  Though she didn't even realise which made it even more ironic.  I was tearing a cheese roll in half so we could share it cuz she was adament that she wanted it, and I was hungry still, so she said we could share it.  My raiding of the kitchen stops and i start to tear, but it is going wonky, leaving a bigger piece in the bag, her piece!  No way man!  Gotta make this more even!!!

I finish tearing and she holds out her hand for the smaller now equal sized piece that i bring from the bag and I am left to eat the piece in the bag.  I realise that had I just done the wonky bit I would have had the larger half - more like three-quarters - and she would be happy cuz she got a second roll - even if it was slightly small. 

It is good to share....lol
Peace
EF.x 

What drama parenting is.  Apparently this evening E had to discipline her dolls and get them to sit quictle for a while because they were hurting each other!  It was so dramatic and when she was recounting her story to me there were many sighs and tuts to punctuate the narrative. 

She has done several of these kinda things recently which has amused me, but it has never been a reflection on her behaviour - at least not recent behaviour, so it has opened the door for me to discuss good and bad behaviour and how to be good, even when someone does something that you consider to be bad or not good.

Ah me!  I need to do more sewing, if I want to get it done by the weekend that is.  It is a massive project and I think I have bitten off more than i can chew....but if i make it it will be such an achievement for me.  Anyhow, instead of sitting her talking about it all night I shall get on and do....laters mates
Peace
EF.x 

PS  My daughter amuses me....just in case I forgot to say so

Hi everyone,
I am so sorry that I have been such a poor friend this new year.  It is my intent to keep in touch better as the year passes by....please send me mail etc if the thought crosses our mind.  I am catching up as and when I can, but I have been terribly tired this year and have had to rest more in order to achieve the normal daily things.  The best bit is that because I am rested I achieve more while I am doing things!!!  So cool. 

OK.  Well, other than going on about how much I miss you all and that i wish I had more energy to trawl through my friends list to find you all and send you all individual greetings I am doing second best, and at some point I will get through my friends list and send you personal greetings.

I hope you and your families are all well, healthy, smiling, enjoying school/pre-school/kindy and the various other pursuits that make up family life.
Peace and love  (flower)
EF.x 

OK.  Not greatly clear, but this is us in the dark (surprise surprise) at the park eating our chip picnic....The top pic is E on the jungle gym posing with a chip and the bottom one is her sitting on the baby slide with the chips laid out in front of her like a table.

She was so excited it was lovely, and well worth the effort of going out late.  Unfortunately I forgot to go shopping earlier in the day, so we had to have chips instead of the sandwiches, fdrinks etc that I had planned, but it ws more to do witht he fact of doing it than what we had - so that is cool.....it totally worked and we wandered the streets on the way to the park and on the way home just for the fun of walking down them in the dark instead of in the daylight which is what she is used to.  I mean, even our 5am forays in our community were only during the summer time - so it was light then too.....lol. 

I really like this idea for a Monthly TAC challenge and it has been great to plan something more special just because.  I could go on and on, but i am sure that youhave all been there and experienced that excitement - and if not - then you really oughta give it a go.  Have a date with your child/children and see what happens.
Peace
EF.x