So the day is here, I am actually more excited than I am on my birthday! Happy 2nd Birthday Ruby! She had a little tea party yesterday, where she screamed alot, ate too much cake and terrorised the other kids.. she also ran off with pass the parcel and hid it in the bin!!!! Shes been up a few hours, gave her a little vtech laptop cos shes obsessed with the computer, think it might be a bit too advanced for her though. She's currently watching her new wiggles dvd (very groovy). Im gonna take her shopping them down to my Mum and Dads for more pressies later.

Ruby's in the middle,

Cake made by my friend Jacqui.

Hope you all having a good day, its nearly the weekend, yeah! Em x

Ok so its Ruby's second birthday on thursday (and my 26th on friday!)... and tomorrow we're having a little tea party for her. Nothing major, can't really cope with too much, just a few of her friends over at my mum and dads. My best mate Jacqui is coming too, shes making Ruby's birthday cake, shes great at making cakes, shes doing one in the shape of Ruby's favourite teddy bear! I love my mate jacqui shes one of the only true friends Ive got, been there through everything, through the happiness and all the rubbish too. She's great!

So Im now contemplating wrapping pass the parcel, and wondering just how many sandwiches in the shapes of stars and hearts Ive gotta make tomorrow! Im excited though, get so happy bout Ruby's birthday, cant believe shes going to be two.. the past few years have flown by.. and theyve been the absolute best of my life!

Ok, so Im feeling so very sick, I have a cold, and its making my all day sickness worse, instead of just being nauseas Im vomitting all the time. Last night I threw up like 10 times, bless Ruby she kept rubbing her comfort blankie on my face to try and make me feel better.

Am also feeling very scatty, last night when I got in for visitng my parents I found my front door wasnt shut properly, John wasnt home yet and I panicked. I ran into my neighbours house like a nutcase and my neighbour ran through my house with a baseball bat just in case! But we hadnt been robbed id just forgotten to shut the door properly, idiot!

I have been  tagged by Ajv00

1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Ok so.....

1. I nearly became a chef - after being on a programme called masterchef i got a job in a top kitchen... i lasted 2 shifts of being shouted at before running away!

2. Im a hippie - peace, love, don't care about money really.... all you need is love etc (I may review that after second bubs arrives and were still broke though!)

3. Im a daddy's girl - As an only child, my dad is my rock. He is great - Just wanted to say that!

4. I believe in angels - and all things like wise.

5. I have to wrap myself up like a caterpillar in a cocoon to sleep - even if its boiling hot outside!

6. I love northern soul - the greatest and perhaps least recognised music scene in history. If anyone hear more about it, check out a short film my husband wrote and produced on northern soul, its called function at the junction

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udXjRvyi64w

Ok so... I tag boredmum, dannii17, lillkatheryn, janicepovey, cassaustin, jenjen

I know this is a little premature as Im only 8 weeks pregnant, but Im already getting very scared about birth.... Ruby's birth was so traumatic.. Im going to write about it, think it might be therapy.

I was 34 weeks pregnant with Ruby and had been feeling unwell for ages, I was getting funny peeling pains from inside. I was brushed off with the 'its stretching pains' from my midwife. Late one night, I suddenly felt huge stabbing stomach pains, awful, as I stood up, a rush of blood flowed out of me.. so much blood, pools of it. Thank god I was at my parents house, they called an ambulance. My husband had to rush home from the job he was doing. Upon arrival at the hospital I was immediately whisked into theatre and my baby was delivered only 3 minutes after they cut into me. I was so scared... the calls of 'Shes not breathing, get her on a ventilator' still go round in my head. My tiny daughter was rushed to intensive care. I was taken to a ward... surrounded by other new mothers giving their newborns a middle of the night feed... One of the intensive care nurses came to see me, she brought a polaroid of my tiny baby, with wires poking out all over her, a ventilator in and bandages round her eyes. It was awful. As Id had a c-section I couldnt even go and see her.. One of the kind nurses told me as soon as I could get out of bed, I could go and see her. I spent the next 12 hours flexing my toes and legs.. crying all the time, determined to go and see her.

Ruby stayed in special care for three weeks, she got stronger everyday. I spent a week down in the wards before being discharged and had to face that horrible thing of leaving the hospital without taking my baby home. Ruby's care was amazing, but SCBU was a scary place, all wires and beeping machines. I felt robbed of a normal birth, robbed of the normal bonding process. In fact it affected me so much I actually couldnt bare anyone else hlding her for the first three months of her life... had to stop my self screaming 'No my baby' everytime one of my inlaws wanted to pick her up.

So here I am, Ruby's birth was caused by a ruptured placenta.. and Im just so scared that something similar might happen again. I know its mostly irrational, what happened to me was rare and its unlikely to happen again... but I cant stop myself thinking about it...

Thought Id end on a happy note and put a picture of my very first cuddle with Ruby... I had been crying for 24 hours, and finally got to hold my little angel.

So took Ruby to her little friends birthday party yesterday, eventually managed to get her to wear some clothes!!! I chased her round the house and she kept running away from me screaming 'Noooooo, nudey booooo!' (boo is what she calls herself!).

Poo girl though, she enjoyed the party but this older kid wanted the ball she was playing with and bit her really really hard on the hand, I had to seperate them, poor Ruby's hand, the bite broke the skin and her little fingers are swollen. Shes been moaning about it ever since and getting me to kiss her hand.. She was a good girl at the party, she pulled one boys hair.. haha but he's been terrorising her for ages so I think she was just getting her own back!

John off work today, hurrah!!!!! Although he's currently sleeping off a hangover, and managed to do something to the tv last night, I cant get subtitles to come off it, so annoying! Hope everyones having a good day x

Hi all, well yet again John is working the whole weekend so its just me and Ruby, shes been throwing tantrums like a demon, especially over getting dressed. I seem to be chasing her around for hours each day trying to get clothes on her. I tried turning the heating off so she'd get cold, but no she just wants to be cold, nude and wee all over the house... thank god john has day off tomorrow so Im hoping for a bit of a break!!

Taking Ruby to her little friends 2nd birthday party later, Im going to try to convince her to wear her fairy outfit, she looks so cute in it! Unfortunately as John isnt here we have to drag ourselves there and back on the bus, sigh.

Oh and my neighbours are driving me nuts, they are renovating the house over the road, and they have the most ancient builders Ive ever seen. So far they have spent three hours outside the house hitting a bathtub with a hammer... why I ask you????!!!!!!!

Gosh what a day, Ruby has been running wild, like the crazy little whirlwind she always is... I'd forgotten how sick I felt when I was pregnant with her before. I seem to be tired and grumpy all the time, not to mention the all day sickness... and the hugeness of my belly is no joke, I surely must be more pregnant than 7 weeks, Im already having to go into maternity clothes!!! I took Ruby to music group today were she was the most confident child, which always makes me proud, and she only hit one other kid this week, which is an improvement on the usual!!! Now am trying to build up the will power to cook dinner for when hubby gets home..

I wanted to share something about my past with you. Today I have been drug free for 4 years. On Jan 6th 2004, I turned up at my parents house begging for help, they cut up my credit card and took away my mobile phone. I had become a shadow of myself, a party girl, but so destructive. Im ashmaed that my parents had to go looking for me, I caused them so much worry. But 4 years ago today I quit and turned my life around. 6 Months later I met my soulmate, and moved in with him, married him and had a beautiful child and another on the way. I cannot believe how much my life has turned around.. how far I have come.. a truely special day.

Anyway I just wanted to share that with you all. Emma xxxx

Well Ive had a bad few nights with Ruby, shes been waking up loads and sleeping in our bed, but really kicking and crying alot, not good. Im feeling totally knackered cos ive had insomnia too , but just have to keep going as John is at work again today (hate it when he has to work sundays). At least he has tomorrow off, hoping to have a nice day, with lots of rest. Gonna go to my parents later, hopefully grandad can wear Ruby out a bit and I can have a little sit down. Have sooo many chores to do its unbelieveable.. plus ruby just threw her breakfast all over the floor, naughty little imp!

Anyway hope everyone has a good day xxxx

So I survived looking after my friends toddler today. Unfortunately Ruby didnt like it at all, and turned into a complete bully.... she pinched, hit and pulled Amy;s hair constantly, I think she was really jealous. Poor Amy spent most of the time bursting into tears saying 'where mummy gone?'... poor girl.... gosh i dont think childminding is the career path for me. Am feeling shattered and sick.. am hoping to convince ruby to go to bed soon so I can lie down.. and yes the house is wrecked.. and there is a husband expecting his dinner at 10pm when he gets in. This housewife thing can get very tiring!!!!

Well news year eve turned out ok. We had a good meal, a fish feast, my friends didn't noticed I wasnt drinking (too pissed I think!), so pregnancy stayed secret. Ruby woke up on the stroke of midnight and bounced around dancing till 3am! When she finally went to bed I was so shattered... and she still woke up at 6!

Hubby back at work today, boo, and he's working the weekend too. Im feeling pretty sick all the time.. I forgot what pregnancy was like... seems like it was easier when I was just shuffling off to work this time.. no time to be sick with a lively Ruby! Im looking after a friends little girl tomorrow as her childminder is ill... God I hope they dont fight too much, think Im just gonna have to sit back and watch them wreck the house!!!