Well Im still feeling rubbish I actually think I threw up 50 times yesterday. Its had a good consequence though. Ive been trying to quit smoking for ages, I managed towards the end of my last pregnancy to quit, but took it up again when Ruby was 3 months old. Now Ive been feeling as sick as a parrot.. and Ive stopped smoking!!!! I still feel rough, Ive determined to stick to it this time. Its amazing though it seems to be crossing my mind every few minutes, even though Im coughing like anything. So wish me luck... Ive gotta do it this time, dont like the feeling that Im chained to something.

Argh on monday night I started feeling really ill, all hot and achy, took my temp and it was 40c! Anyway turns out I have a kidney infection, gosh I feel so rough. John has taken the day of work to look after Ruby, thanks goodness, but he'll be back tomorrow so Im hoping to feel a bit better. Im on antibiotics and they are wiping me out.

Had my first midwife appointment too. Was good we ran through everything that happened with Ruby's birth, so Ive been referred staright to the hospital as a high risk pregnancy. I have the same midwife as I did with Ruby which is really nice.

Well Im going to crawl back under my duvet now, hope everyone is well xx

Well, there has been alot of stuff going on with minti the past few days. And I don't know Im not involved, but I have to admit from the outsiders point of view its not looking good. I came across minti a couple of months ago looking for advice, and what a surprise I got. Not only did I get the advice I needed I also made new friends, lovely new friends that I would not have otherwise found. I like coming on minti, my husband works evenings and weekends, and I find myself dealing with the ups and downs of parenthood alone alot of the time. None of my friends have kids yet. But when I came on here I found people in similar situations who understood me, and it felt good. Now Im not about to delete my account or anything. But I have to admit... if I had joined as a new member today, and I had a look at the contents of the mini feed... Id have run a mile.

Hope everyone has a good weekend, Em x

Ruby had to go back to the hospital today for her blood tests.. haha she actually didnt want to leave this time, there were so many toys and children for her to play with. I think she thought it was just a big toddler girl. Brave girl didnt even flinch when when the needle went in.. she is definately alot braver than me!

Ive still been feeling very emotional, very tearful, sigh.. I wasnt like this last time I was pregnant. I feel bad telling people Im upset though.. with my husband and ruby and another on the way I should be on top of the world.. maybe Im just a bit overwhelmed right now.

But today I feel humble. Where we took Ruby was the entrance to the childrens hospital radiography dept. The poor little children coming in and out for their treatment for cancer, lloking so poorly.. dealing with it so well. A girl in a wheelchair aged about 13 came out of the dept, Ruby went up to her she wanted to play with her. The little girl took her for a ride in her wheelchair, which naturally Ruby thought was wonderful. The girls mother sat next to me, we got talking. That poor little girl had terminal cancer and had only a few months to live. And there she was playing with my baby... I am a lucky woman. That poor girl and her family... the things people go through.. like I said, it was a very humbling day.

I dunno what it is but the past few days Ive been feeling really tearful, think it must be all those hormones flying around. First I cried cos the computer wouldnt work properly, then I totally ruined our valentines meal, got the timings all wrong. That made me cry. Then today I took Ruby to meet a friend for lunch, and she acted so wild, throwing stuff, spilling stuff throwing herself around.. then she topped it all off by biting me when I tried to stop her. God Im just having one of those days I think.. my friends toddler was naturally perfectly behaved. ARGH. Hope I feel better tomorrow.

Just had my 12 week scan and all is looking well! Its one baby, which is a relief and its sitting on my bladder at the moment, which is why Im feeling a bit uncomfortable. They couldnt get a good pic as its hiding real low. But it was so cute, little feet kicking and little hands over its face. I feel so much better and relieved now! Hurrah... now just 6 more months of waiting!

Ruby seems a bit jealous I showed her the scan and she keeps throwing it around saying 'ME BABY!'.... hehe guess Ive got a while to work on her, and hope shes not too jealous by the time her little baby bro or sis arrives!

So yesterday we went to the hospital, it was all pretty traumatic... we were kept waiting an hour to first be seen and Ruby was completely wrecking the waiting room and fighting with other toddlers.. The doctor only decided to do a few skin prick tests this time, he did the pollens, cat and tomato. No surprise she came out as allergic to all of them! Although I was surprised that pollen was worst.. think Im going to be expecting really bad hayfever. She has to go back next week for blood tests and analysis. Its kind of a shame they couldnt do more tests, cos they just confirmed what I knew rather than showing what else she was allergic to. But at her age its so traumatic... I had to hold her down whilst they did the skin pricks and she creamed and screamed I felt horrible. Plus shes really been playing up for a few days, been very naughty. She has literally spent all day screaming at the top of her lungs at me. I think Im completely losing it. I try to discipline her in a good way.. Im always here for her... yet she does seem to be the most tantrumy difficult toddler of anyone I know. I love her to pieces and normally brush this off as her 'showing signs of intelligence'.. but now Im wondering if Im doing something wrong. How on earth am I going to cope with two....?

So this afternoon we're off to Great Ormond Street for Ruby's allergy testing. Im a bit worried as she is going to have to have 30 skin prick tests done.. then we have to stop her scratching her arms for 20 mins so they can measure her allergy response. Poor girl Ive been trying to explain to her, but shes so scared of needles and doctors, I think its going to be very traumatic. But it has to be done, shes had terrible reactions to something we just don't know shes allergic to, so hopefully after today at least we'll know. And can keep her away from it.

On the good side Ive had a nice weekend, my SIL and nephew have been staying, my nephew is 20 and a fab cook, he made a lovely meal on saturday night. Yesterday we drove into the city, went to the tate modern. Ruby loved the modern art!!! What a good girl! Although she threw a massive tantrum when we left I had to carry her back to car under my arm like a rugby ball with her kicking and screaming! But its been nice to have a bit of help around the house, although Ive got a lot of washing to do ow, and tidying up. Still a lovely weekend.. now got to get past this afternoon, and look forward to my scan on wednesday.

Hope everyones had a lovely weekend x

So I felt really ill last night, I just couldn't sleep and I had to get out of bed every half hour to pee, combined with stomach/back ache. So I thought I must have a kidney infection, I got a couple when I was pregnant before. Went to the doctors.. but no infection. My without sense of humour or personality doctor told me to 'take paracetamol, and rest'... and then added 'your big for 11 weeks, have you been overeating?'... I said no really annoyed, and she said 'well good thing your scans next week, your either further along or you look like youve got more than one in there'..... So now I feel ill, and Im slightly freaked out!!!!!!!!!!

John had to go off to work so I went to my mum and dads this morning, and they really helped look after Ruby so I could rest. I hope Im doing ok, Im still in a bit of pain.... Im just short of twelve weeks, please god I dont have another miscarriage.

Ruby being a mixture of angel and demon today, many screamy tantrums, also much cuteness. She's taken the lead with potty training, and weed on the potty 5 times today!!! Ive still got her in pull up nappies, but if she carries on this well I may try ditching them in a week. She still wakes up wet from her daytime nap though.. think I'll have to get plastic sheets...

Hi, thought I'd contribute my bit towards Janice's game so here goes!

I love music.. what would life be without music to help get you through. I love northern soul, David Bowie, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Joni Mitchell, Simon and Garfunkle, The Carpenters. Mostly the stuff I like is pre-1975.. interesting seeing as I wasnt born till 82!

I entertain alot, I love cooking, so dinner parties are a big thing for me.. I love watching my friends eat food Ive loving put time and effort into making. And just in general I cook alot, was very impressed with the pancakes I made yesterday!

I love reading, I could devour books, Id get through even more if Ruby didnt rip them out of my hands! I love fantasy in particular, you know elves, magic, dragons anything purely escapist. I also just read the Kite Runner which was fantastic.

We live in London but near a forest so I like going for long muddy walks, prefer it in the winter when its all chilly and you have to wrap up. I used to be a big clubbing girl, and I kinda traded in my wrecked sunday mornings for getting up early and walking in the fresh air.

Other than that, I guess Im mostly a housewife and mother... the long list of boring chores gets done everyday but I have alot of fun with Hubby and Ruby. I also go and visit my parents everyday cos they only live a street away, thank goodness! I love holidays but theyre a bit harder now Ruby's a toddler.. in the summer we went to Portugal, she was scared of the sand, refused to sit in pushchair or highchair, and bit the man at airport security who took away her comfort blanket to scan it... Think we'll stay alot closer to home this year!

So yesterday my best friends came round to celebrate our birthdays, we ordered a big curry and everyone else got very drunk! Ruby behaved beautifully, was on full charm mode. Had such a nice time, I was looking round at my friends and theyre all so nice, Ive worked out who is a true friend in my life and they were all there. Made me feel really happy!

On the annoying side I saw the awful side of my family on friday... they were horrible, my granny was treating me like a slave 'get me this', 'get out of that chair', and my aunt let her two little boys run riot, they were wrecking everything and Ruby got really upset as they broke one of her birthday presents. She started screaming and banging her head into walls, took me an hour to calm her down again. We hadnt seen them since before christmas.. so we exchanged xmas pressies... my gran gave my beloved dad a packet of cheap horrible teatowels for a present.. how lovely.. why did she bother????? Drives me mad, she is so horrible to my mum and dad, argh, families, who'd have them??!!!