ARGH! Men... why did I marry an artist??? Cos I love him.... news.... John is finally getting to make the film he has been writing and rewriting for 8 years. They have a big investor in and theyre going into preproduction. Guess what the projected time frame for starting shooting is?? AUGUST/SEPT. When is our baby due??? AUGUST 28TH. How long will he be away???? 2 MONTHS. In the north of england. Too far for me to take a newborn and a Ruby to visit. I did alot of crying at my mother yesterday. Today Im just really really pissed off. Plus Im gonna have to have another csection.... I need his help here. But the film is the dream that has been going from before I met him. ARGH!!!!!

Ok enough ranting, I hope your all having a better weekend, Em x

Well Ive had an amazing week! My best friend Jess and her husband flew in on thursday, and they came straight over and cooked for me which was loads of fun! We had a fantastic weekend, we went into camden town and looked around the shops, had a beautiful japanese meal and hung out together with my other friend Katie. They left on monday morning... it always flies past so quickly... I miss Jess loads already. Its so hard having your best friend in another country, its not the same as being able to see each other every day. However we were working on hubby and he thinks moving to england would be a great idea! He had such fun in London. They have to sort out their business, they sell vintage clothes online, and as I said London is the home of vintage fashion and they could do it just as easily here! Watch this space....

On the scary side yesterday Ruby fell part of the way down the stairs, John wasn't holding her hand. She landed on her head, Oh my god it was so scary. We took her straight to the hospital. Thank god she's completely fine, but I didnt sleep at all last night, I kept going into her room to check she was ok. Its lucky toddlers bounce. Have to admit John felt the full force of my fury.. Ive always told him to hold her hand when they come down the stairs. I think he will be doing so now though. Hope everyone is having a good week,

Love Em x

Tomorrow morning my best friend flies in from Maryland, USA and Im so excited!!!! We met back in 2003, we studied together in Prague for a few months, we bonded right away.. she fell asleep on my lap after we sang yellow submarine and drank absinthe on the roof of our hotel. Then she came to stay with me, and shortly after I went to the USA to stay with her. She's been there through it all, met me when I was still crazy, supported me through my recovery and has been there to celebrate the best events of my life. I miss her everyday. She lived in London for a year which was the best, but now her and her new hubby life back in the USA. She is using this trip to try and persuade him that London should be their new home! I hope she succeeds! So Im going to have a really nice few days, catching up, plus my parents are going to look after Ruby on saturday so I can go out, have lunch with them, then go to a spa for a massage. I'll be getting that mothers day treat after all. Hope everyone is doing ok, Em x

So I think John felt guilty about being rubbish on mothers day, cos yesterday he gave me a massage set and we all went out to the forest, me, john, sean and ruby and fed ducks, and went for a long walk. It was lovely. I feel so much better today, Ive got my fingers crossed that the sickness is passing. Although its my first good day so I could be speaking to soon.

Thought you'd like to see a pic of Ruby and her big brother at the lake in the forest

Happy mothers day to all those in the uk!

My mothers day has been pretty rubbish. Ruby has been great... however, I dont want to moan. But John didnt do anything for it, I didnt get a card or a present.. and I had to make my own special breakfast. I didnt get a valentines present.. I didnt get a birthday present.. Im feeling pretty unimportant right now. John's son is here which is nice but... instead of doing something nice Ive spent all day alone, him and sean have gone to see rambo. Im feeling like the forgotten housewife. I spent all day doing stuff for him, making food, cleaning house. Im an unpaid PA, I organise all his photography. And Im not appreciated for it. Sorry Im on a rambling rant....