Well I have finally told the parents that I’m moving interstate…   WHAT NEXT….  And I think I can declare I’m not the most popular person in the family… as my whole argument has been, I need to be happy and if moving interstate to be with my fiancé makes me happy then I have to follow my heart…   My mum was most upset with my decision to leave the children with their father, but I still believe I am making the right choice… I can understand their disappointment, but if they truly loved me the would be happy(ish) for me… and it’s not like they wont get to see the children (grandchildren) as they will only 20 minute drive from them… Also when I have parenting papers written they will (if they want) have the girls on a regular basis, like every second, third weekend… Something that I will have to sit with them and talk about… then again that’s if they will ever talk to me again…   I’m going to see my counsellor/mediator on Wednesday morning hoping she can help me get through this and also help me in how to explain it to the girls… that’s going to be the hardest part… If anyone has a suggestion on how to tell the children, or even trying to make the parents understand or support my decision… please feel free to offer advice…   I’m so unhappy here without my fiancé… I had yet another really bad day on Friday, I just couldn’t function, I just wanted to sit in a corner and cry all day, I ended up driving to a friend of mine that I know I could just sit with and cry… I can’t go on like this, I want and need to be happy in life…   Hope everyone has enjoyed their long weekend… Life is so full of chances, and if you don’t take them from time to time you may never get anywhere…  

Follow your destiny wherever it leads you

There comes a time in your life when you realise

That if you stand still, you will remain at this point forever.

You realise that if you fall and stay down, life will pass you by…

 

 

Well that’s another day out of the way….

A few days ago I found out that Mag (5) had not been registered at birth. So I had to tell her father, who I might add was not impressed…. Not to mention the paper work after her birth was left to him to deal with. As I had a caesarean, and had 2 toddlers at home, I planed to stay in hospital for as long as I could… but because it was close to Xmas and we needed the ‘baby bonus’ money to help get the last of the Xmas stuff, including the newborn bits n pieces. We had filled out all the paperwork and I was then leaving in the hand of the father. I’m now realizing it was a bad mistake. Never the less, all is good now as I have fixed it all up without to many hassles.

I then went and watch my young cousin play his match of footy, the boys played well, yet they came in a good second…. I was very proud, as he scored the first try in the game…. Woo Hoo…. Go my little mate….

After, picking up Mag from school I get home to find my sister here for a visit… great to see her… So while I had just a pinch of courage, I dropped the bombshell on her that I was going to be moving interstate… Sis, took the news a little better than I had thought, which made me feel just a tad better. She doesn’t agree with my decisions but will support it. Let hope she stays true to her words… she had warned me that I may not get the same reaction from the rest of the family, to the point they just might not talk to me… but I feel if they all love me enough they will accept my choice in life to be happy… plus it will give them all a holiday place…

I’m still trying to work out how to tell my girls that mummy is moving away and they will be staying with dad full-time… I know my ex-husband will take the opportunity with out a second thought, I think what scares me most is that he will paint a bad picture of me as being a ‘bad mum’ for leaving them full-time with dad… Like I have mentioned in my other blog’s, I think it is the best way to do this, he has a settled home with wife and baby. They will have the stability of everyday living, because at the moment they move from home to home almost every 3 days… we live different lives and have different rules… it really must be hard on the girls at times… The continuity in their lives would be of so much benefit to them… and it’s not like I’m never going to see them again… I will be back to visit every school holidays, or they can fly to us, my fiancé and I… and the quality time I will be able to give them would be so much more than they get now… that’s how I think of it to be…

I think I should write a piece of advice from my experiences of a ‘Share Care’ relations with children and the Ex…

Cheers to all,

P.S. feeling much better now that my sister knows… 1 family member down and a million to tell…

It has been almost a week since my dear man moved.... and 2day for some reason is tuning out the hardest.... I am missing him so bad....

Then on top of all that i have a milliom thoughts running around in my head as to how and when is the best time to talk to my family, telling thats I to am moving interstate to be with my man....

Plus, to chuck a spaner into the works, my man is ready to set a date for us to be married....

Don't ya think I have enough on my plate to think about....

Have a great week everyone....

 

 

Well, I guess you could really call this my first true blog….

My man has moved interstate and I am so lost and empty…. It is worse that I thought it would be….

I posted a Q&A back in august about what to do… and I got many responses… thanks to you all. Yet I’m still at a loss as what to do….

For those who don’t remember and those who don’t know at all…

My fiancé has had to move interstate for work, and it’s permanent. L I now have to opportunity to move with him, but in doing that I will have to leave my 3 girls with their fathers on a full time basis and I would only see them in the holidays or until such time as they can make their own mind up on where to live. ( 2 oldest from my marriage and the youngest is well an opps bub, much loved, but entered this world at a really bad time in my life) (I guess that could be another blog)

My youngest girl Mag (almost 6), is already going to live with her father, and that’s something that has been in the works before my fiancé had to move away. I believe her to be better off living with her dad as we have a big personalty clash, as much as I love her because she is my daughter, we just don’t get along…. Never have in her short almost 6 years of life…. So Mag is not the big problem. 

Then there is Pilla (almost 10) and Pede (8-1/2)…

I have had shared care with Pilla and Pede’s father for the past 6 years, they spend from Monday to Thursday with dad and one weekend a month, also every Friday afternoon he takes them to Gym. The shared care has worked for us, but I feel very trapped, I can not (nor can he really) move away from our area without one of us losing the children. I have lived in this area off and on all my life. I have always hated it here and always said that when I was old enough to tell my mum I was leaving home I was outta here… but then as a silly 17 yro I met a boy, fell in love, got engaged, got married and had a baby all before I was 21 yro. I became stuck… in the place…

My ex-husband has since remarried (my best friend) and have a fresh baby of their own, they have bought a house and seem very happy ( and I am to happy for them) and I also know that Pilla and Pede love it at home with dad. Just to clarify something, I don’t believe that he and she was doing anything before he and I separated. Their relationship happened about a year after we split. And truly if I had to pick someone to help raise my girls, she would be the pick, she is the girls Godmother. I trust her very much. Although our friendship is no longer, I’m happy for them both.

So at this moment I’m going through turmoil as to how I’m going to tell my girls that mummy’s wants so badly to move interstate and be happy… as I am very unhappy here. I’m frightened that my sadness will, if not already affect them.

I would be happy to take the girls with me interstate but I know I would have one big hell of a fight on my hands with the ex. I also know if I was to try and take them away from here (where their WHOLE family live), it would be harder for them. I would be the only person (apart from my fiancé) that they would know…. Their roots are planted here… I believe in time they might like to move in with me, but they are still a little young to make that decision….

My other little dilemma is telling my family I wish to leave, as they also all live in this area…

Sorry it is so long but I had to get it out and nobody but my closest friend knows my thoughts… It’s hard to keep smiling when I feel like I’m dying inside…

I love being apart of minti... so much information....

Thanks to everyone...

 

I have finally got around to changing my picture....