I normally quite enjoy having an evening to myself, on those nights when Warren and Michael have dinner with Warren's parents. Perhaps it's because this is the second night in a row (normally it's only once a fortnight) that I'm feeling really lonely. Perhaps it's because I watched the Muppet Show with Peter Sellers while I was eating dinner, and thought about all those wonderful talents who are no longer with us (Peter Sellers, Jim Henson, Jerry Juhl). Perhaps it's because Kermit sang "Being Green".

Or perhaps it's because Michael turns 6 tomorrow. He's growing up and is going to need me less, which is both good and bad. And of course it's also 6 years since Grandma died. I still don't know how to reconcile two of the most momentous events in my life both happening on the same day - and of course, being alone, I find myself thinking a lot about Grandma. She would have been so happy to have a great-grandchild, and I hope that she's somewhere knowing that I'm thinking about her, and watching the next generation growing up. And now I've gone from a little melancholy to tearful.

So I guess it's time to focus on tomorrow. Michael's present is wrapped (and so is Z's since the party is tomorrow) and hidden in Warren's wardrobe. The party is all organised, I picked up the drinks on Friday and I think J was buying the chips and collecting the cake today, in readiness for tomorrow. Let's hope the kids have a good time. I think they will - certainly Michael and Z will because they love bowling.

I wrapped Michael's Chanukah present last night too, since it's only a week away and I don't have that much spare time now that it's school holidays. I thought I would get so much done yesterday while Michael was with Warren's parents for the day, but I'm still adjusting to my new routine with work and fitting in chores around it. So by the time I'd done the shopping, had some lunch, put on some dishes (when the dishwasher was full enough), I was completely shattered and ended up having an afternoon nap! So much for phoning Medicare and Centrelink! So much for dealing with the wet washing!

As much as it's a strangely hard adjustment - harder than I'd have expected, since I'm only working 3 hours a day - it feels really good to be working again. When we stopped trying for another baby, I got really depressed - as if doing IVF wasn't depressing enough - and started to feel that nothing I did mattered. Did it really matter if I did the laundry or if Warren did? Did it really matter if I took Michael to school or if Warren did? Did it really matter if I organised dinner or not? Even though logic tells me that those things are important to keeping our family functioning smoothly, it got harder and harder to get out of bed in the morning. Now I have a new purpose and it's something I can't lean on Warren for. It also helps that it's a new position and I'm the first person to do it, and especially that it's in an aged care facility. Even though I have basically no patient contact, I know that what I do helps the nurses, physios and occupational therapists do their jobs, and that's a really uplifting feeling. And it doesn't hurt that some of my old work clothes are too big these days!

That was all a bit long and rambling. I guess I shouldn't blog with the TV on. I'm not really watching it or even particularly interested in what's on, but every so often it grabs my attention and I lose my train of thought.

So goodnight Grandma. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope you're out there somewhere, toasting your great-grandson's sixth birthday with a hearty "L'Chaim" (To Life).

Hello to those of my friends who wondered where I disappeared to this week.

I have been settling into work and it was actually a good thing to work 3 of the 4 days until 1:00 instead of 5 days until 12:00. Gave me a chance to keep a train of thought going a little longer with so much new stuff to take in. I think I'm ready for next week's challenges when I'll take over mail and banking duties. I just hope R who will be training me is patient.

Meanwhile, my cold is still lingering and Warren was home Wednesday to Friday, sneezing and coughing. Of course he hogged the computer. So I had a quick look at Minti a couple of mornings while he and MIchael were in the shower, but didn't have time for much.

Yesterday we had to pull ourselves together to go shopping. The bother of it is that we couldn't get half of what we went for and will probably have to go shopping again today - we'll try a different shopping centre this time.

We got a birthday present for Z - important since he and Michael are having their party in a week. And we got water pistols so Michael can take one to the day camp he's going on in January (there's a day when they're asking for this). We also got a magnetic reward chart which hopefully will help us get to the point of getting Michael out of night nappies and going to the loo in the night when he needs to. Also putting on his own clothes, putting sunscreen on without a fuss and a few other things we're thinking about.

Warren and I spent about 3/4 hour working out which days to ask which of our parents to look after Michael during the holidays. Thankfully they've all agreed to everything, so I don't have to worry about childcare during the holidays. He only has two days of school to go. I can't believe my baby is finishing pre-primary! I'm going to miss his teacher and teaching assistant.

I hope Warren and Michael are back from visiting Warren's parents soon. I'm craving a Wendy's citrus sensation smoothie!

Why is it that I can do my day at work and only feel a bit off, but by the time I've eaten my lunch at home (remember, I only work mornings), I feel like crap and just get worse and worse from there?

Work was good, though. I learnt some stuff that I'm going to be doing a lot of (although I've no doubt I'll need help next time it comes up), and I found some documents to print labels for the files I've been making up. I got my own desk today too, so I feel a bit more like I belong, which is nice.

I'm a bit nervous about Thursday (not working tomorrow) as my direct supervisor is going to be out until 11:00, and she is going to let me answer the phone. I don't have a problem with answering phones as such, but I would have preferred to do it under supervision for a little while so I could ask for help until I find my feet. Nothing like being thrown in at the deep end!

Michael's out of the shower, so it's time for me to go be a part of bedtime.

I am now officially a working woman! I did my first three-hour shift at the aged care facility and discovered that I will be working mainly in the transitional care section (for people who are having rehab and then hopefully going home). So far, apart from another tour and meeting a bunch of people whose names I forgot (thankfully most wear name badges), I was put to the job of making up some new files ready for new admissions, which included photocopying. Not the most stimulating activity, but actually it was a good thing.

The Man Upstairs (or whatever term tickles your fancy) is once again having a laugh at my expense. I have a cold, which I came down with yesterday. So it was a good thing that I didn't have to do much that required deep thought today!

Of course, yesterday we went to a couple of community fairs and I really, really wanted to go home. But I didn't want to be a party pooper and also didn't want to miss out on quality family time.

Tonight I have filled out all my employment forms, and a questionnaire on the mandatory reporting of abuse against facility residents (after reading the explanatory document), and am all ready to go in tomorrow morning. I just hope I don't lose my voice or develop a bad fever or a bad cough.

I am supposed to be doing four hours tomorrow, Thursday and Friday so I can have Wednesday off to do my final stint of parent help at Michael's school (there's no parent help from Year 1 onwards, although I might be asked to help with reading or something). As Michael's birthday will be during the school holidays, the class is having a little celebration on Wednesday, so of course I have to be there. It's also the time of year for final parent-teacher interviews, so that's scheduled for Wednesday too.

After work and lunch, I did some grocery shopping. Only filled two bags (one cooler bag and one regular green bag) but it still cost over $80. Then again, there were a few luxury items in there!

What with being sick and the nerves of starting a new job, and then the shopping, I am absolutely zonked. And I can't go to bed yet because Warren is at a meeting at school to discuss the anti-bullying policy. I'm worried that my ears will block up like they did last night and I won't hear Michael if he calls out to me. Warren's always the one more likely to hear, even without me having blocked ears. So I'll just have to wait until he gets home. Then I think it might be time for some ice cream.

I've just realised that even with the holiday programmes I've booked Michael into, he's still going to have a little over 3 weeks when he'll be with his grandparents. I don't really know what to suggest to my folks. I can send some art/colouring stuff with Michael, but he's going to want to go out at least some of the time.

If anyone has some general suggestions, or anyone lives in Perth and has some more specific suggestions, I would be really grateful. (I know this is my personal blog, but I have also posted in the Perth group asking more or less the same thing.)

I was very good and got through everything I needed to do out of the house this morning.

I couldn't get hold of J last night, and didn't manage to catch her at school this morning, which is rather a shame. She works in HR, so I'm sure she'd have known all the right things to say as a personal referee. But I didn't want to hassle her, she's had enough on her plate recently. So I asked a newer friend, C, who was only too happy to help. She's a very enthusiastic person, so hopefully she'll create a good impression for me.

After I left school, I collected some CD-ROMS for Michael from a lady who was giving them away on Freecycle. Then I went to the post office with my application for a police clearance and my 100 points of ID. When I was done there, I took the receipt to work to prove that I had applied for it, and I also gave my new boss C's contact details. Apparently head office hadn't sent through a copy of the application form I filled out yesterday, so I wasn't able to start filling out the forms they need to have for the tax office, etc. I guess that will be the first thing I do when I get there at 9:00 on Monday morning.

Following that, I popped into my local shopping centre to pick up some milk, eggs, etc, and the tin of pickles we were asked to supply as our contribution to Michael's end-of-year party. Apparently it's a pyjama party! What fun! Wish I could go!

Now I just have to hope I have enough decent clothes for work until I get my uniforms.

I still can't quite believe it! Just as I was leaving the house to collect Michael from school, the phone rang. The lady I saw second today phoned to tell me that they were "all very impressed" with me and would like to offer me the job. I would have hoped to be a bit more professional sounding, but instead I answered with "Oh my God! Yes please!"

Tomorrow I have to apply for a police clearance (has anyone done this recently? I'd love to know what ID I should take with me so I don't have to make two trips), and I have just phoned to leave a message for J (Z's Mum) to ask if she would be a character referee for me, seeing as I don't have any work referees that they can phone.

I'm so excited, and also extremely nervous. And it looks like I'll be starting Monday, so I'll barely have time to catch my breath!

I went this morning to the head office of the aged care chain that I'm hoping is going to hire me to do admin work. It went really, really well. The lady interviewing me told me I'm a very strong contender. She arranged for me to have an interview on-site where the job actually is, and I've just come back from there - hence the two interviews in one day.

I was told I might have an answer as soon as tomorrow. This morning, I felt so great, I came home saying "I'm going to get that job". I'm a little less confident now, but I think it's just because the lady I just saw wasn't so forthcoming about what she thought. But that wasn't really her role today - it was to tell me more about the job and show me around the facility.

I think for now I just have to calm down and relax. What's done is done now and it's out of my hands. Time for chocolate, I think!

It's been a really satisfying day today. I started out (after dropping Michael at school) at my parents' place as they decided they didn't need their single bed sheets anymore. Both sets have only been used a couple of times, and one of the waterproof mattress protectors hadn't even been opened. So with those and the set we bought at Target on the weekend, Michael has 3 new sets of sheets and protectors. Thanks Mum and Dad!!!

Then, thanks to Freecycle (www.freecycle.org), I went to see K (who has given us things before) to collect a Leap Frog Leap Pad for Michael. We also had a good chat about issues like bed-wetting, and she agreed with me that it's most likely time to have Michael sleep without Dry Nites and see if that convinces him to use the loo during the night.

After that, thanks to Freecyle member R, I picked up some clothes for myself. Unfortunately, a lot of them didn't fit, but I did keep a lovely long black skirt and a black top. I'll be contacting the lady who was collecting for the women's shelter to see if she would like the things that were no good for me. I probably should go through my wardrobe before I do that though, and admit to myself that I'm not going to get down to a size 12 for way too long to justify keeping the size 12s K gave me last year, when other women could be getting use of them right now.

And on Wednesday, I'll be collecting a couple of CD-ROMs for Michael from Freecycle member N.

Today's Freecycling has made me think that maybe 5 is my lucky number. Both K and R live at number 5 in their streets, and I'll be collecting from N at her workplace at number 55!

I went to DOCEP today in response to their advertisement inviting people for an "informal interview" to be put into their admin/clerical pool for the next 6 months. The ad said that there could be up to an hour's wait, so I took a magazine. In fact, I got there around 10am and didn't get out from my 15-minute interview until about 12:55. I actually felt sorry for the HR people doing the interviews. There were soooo many waiting to go in after me! Still, it might lead me to a government job, so it was worth it. And I got the chance to chat with some nice people while we were waiting.

Hopefully, though, I won't be available when (if) they call. I had a call from a lady about a job I applied for last week to arrange an interview for next week. It's only a few streets away from Michael's school and would probably be 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. That sounds perfect to me. It will give me time to keep up with the shopping, laundry, etc, and still have time to do Mum and family stuff.

Pity the door-to-door salesman from Telstra had to ruin my mood! I rang Telstra to complain about him though. He had the gall, when I told him I wasn't interested in changing to Telstra and didn't want to waste his time, to tell me that I was being rude to him! I don't suppose my complaint will do much good, but it made me feel better.