This has been one of the most stressfull weeks I have had since Harrison was born! So as you may or may not know, over the past few months, Harrisons over night sleep has been really poor. He was waking up in the middle of the night, not wanting to go back to sleep, crying for me...blah blah blah.
Well, this past week, I started orientation for my new job. 3 days of hospital orientation and then I went ahead and took him to daycare on Thur cuz that is his normal day...I mean, I would have paid for it no matter if he had gone or not so I took him in for a few hours...10-2.
Anyway, he hasn't tolerated the separation well. It is the most we have ever been apart. And he hated it more than me. He cried at daycare when I left (which really is no biggie) but now his sleep habits are even worse (if taht was even possible).
Lets just say I have been spoiled with harrison. He has gone to bed awake and on his own with no complaints since he was only a few months old. He has had his share of cranky times, but nothing like what I am dealing with now.
Dean is working away at the mines. Meant to come home tonight but is staying up to do more work so I am playing single parent. And I am over being a single parent.
Anyway, Harrison is refusing to go to sleep on his own. Naps, night time, you name it, he won't do it alone. For a couple of nights I decided to do controlled crying with him. He was crying before I even got him into bed. My, I'll be right back routine is no longer working...he used to fall asleep, now he gets out of bed to find me. So controlled crying...I did this 2 nights in a row and over an hour of him getting out of bed and me putting him back in bed and him crying the whole time. Some of it was pushing me to limits I have never been pushed to. Other times, I had to choke back a laugh cuz what he was doing was funny. But more stressed and pulling my hair out than anything.
Then both nights I ended up giving in and being in his room while he fell asleep. Once sitting by the door the next time, standing next to the bed. Last night I decided that since he was abit unwell, I wouldn't do the controlled crying anymore and would deal with the consequences of my actions at a later date (like when dean is home). So tonight, it took me an hour to get that little ****, i mean angel to sleep.
I am finding it so frustrating one because I am dealing with it alone and two because I know he can go to sleep on his own.
Ugh. And to top it off, he is still doing the middle of the night wakings. And I have chosen the lethal mistake of bringing him into my bed (since dean is gone). It is driving me crazy adn I dont' want him there but in the middle of the night, is just the easy option!
So I am going to try to see the MCHN this week to see if there are any other suggestions she can come up with. If there is no help there, then I will go down the path of a sleep school. I just don't know what else to do.
I am frustrated, my tolerance of Harrison which is normall very high, is very very low. And I don't like the way I am feeling, and talking to him. I stop myself when i get bitchy but man is it hard.
Anyway, work was fine. Really haven't started properly. Just oriented with the educator. Will work thurs this week shadowing another nurse and then flying solo week from today. Watch this space, I have a feeling this could be a very interesting place to work...
Thanks for listening (or reading as the case may be)
XXOO-Ang
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06:58
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