Thank God that's over.

I just had another really serious gall stone attack. it lasted about three days and i actually ended up in hospital over night so they could control the pain. The funny thing is, it wasn't, by far, the worst attack i've had. i've had a couple that were far worse and lasted far longer. I'm not sure what happened... almost seems like my tolerance and patience for the thing has gone down. I'm thinking that not having 500-600 hours of sick leave credits likely made the difference... too bad those don't come with you job to job. I've only been in this job for two months now, so being out with this has cost me all my sick leave, and most of my overtime and vacation leave. Thank God our Christmas holidays don't come out of our vacation leave- they close the office down and we all get automatic paid holidays. Yay! now that's a perk!

I'm feeling better today, good in fact, and i"m back at work. yay! It feels great to be doing paperwork. Who would've thought? hmph.

The one thing that has come from allthis, is that i'll be having surgery on Nov 24th... thank God for short term disability, so i will still have income... but it means i"ll only have like 3 weeks of work left this year.... hmmm... I wonder how restful it will be? I hear people can recoup pretty quick from this when their gall bladders aren't infected... and mine's not, yay! my white blood count was normal, yay!!!

I had been fighting having this surgery, resisting it tooth and nail... but God works in mysterious ways, and He works all things out for his Glory in the end...

God bless you all.

I am's Child.

Well, the house is actually unpacked enough that it's starting to feel like home. I had friends over after church yesterday, and we brought up my kitchen table, chairs, dresser, living room chair, and more boxes of Kitchen stuff. I didn't get to loading my dresser or anything, but we did have lunch at the table- Yay! my first guests over for a meal in my new house! It's sooo cool.

I've found it quite an accomplishment getting things done. My kitchen is actually starting to come together. This morning before work, I found the box with my small appliances, so that will be good. Gotta go, update you more later.

Iamschild.

Well, I signed the paper work on the first, and took possession that date. Not the way I'd recommend, but I got in without being homeless! Yay!

So, I now have the computer set up, and am slowly bringing stuff up from the basement. One step at a time, but the house is coming. I can cook, and wash and do laundry, and now I can even sit at table. I had my first company over for lunch today, and they helped me bring a few things up- the kitchen table, a dresser and a few boxes. So, things are coming good. Not bad for a Sunday.

Well, God bless you all, thanks, and take care out there.

I Am's child.

Oh am I releived guys!

Since I got my new job, I"ve been looking for a place to live. And between the housing shortage locally and the economy the way it is, finding anywhere I could afford to live- rent or buy!- was very challenging. There only two houses in my price range for sale in the community- and moving out of town and commuting an hour everyday wasn't an option I could  afford either. (I know, I'm spoiled compared to some city dwellers!)

Anyways, I'm all excited because my mortgage was finially approved last night. It took about 2-3 weeks- where most take about 3-4 days! there was just delay after delay, all things that were kinda out of my hands. So, please, rejoice with me-= I won't be homeless next week!

Yay!!!!

Well, the new job continues to go very well.

However, I'm starting to see that my new challenges will be personal interactions with co workers. People like being critical of each other, and to accuse others of not doing their work properly.It's not easy hearing all this crud. But, with God's help, I beleive balance in my work relationships is in store.

I apprehended my first kids in my new job today. Straight forward, cut and dried situtation. one of those ones that no one would argue about if they knew the details. Some may even have said that it was about time. And so, the story continues and the work goes on.

The housing situaiton is still in God's hands. I'm still waiting, and learning to be patient. Makes me think of the movie Fireproof- where they guy is sitting on his firetruck, waiting for God to salvage his marriage- meanwhile, his wife continues to pursue divorce and gives him various documents, etc. He stands in trust in God- and God is faithful. Amen.

Well, thanks for listening everybody. All the best, and God bless.

I Am's child.

Well, thus ends my second full week in my new job. Oh is it such a blessing! Wow. I've met about half my clients, all my coworkers and the support staff that help us in so many ways. I've met my hands and feet in the community. I've seen the condition of the files, and I've wrapped my head around where everything is at. There are more similarities and differences, even though many seem to think they're bigger. The difference is huge- but it's in attitude, not policy. Oh well. I'm grateful to be where i am now!

I had my first emergency call today, but there were hands and feet in the community that handled most of it for me, and settled it down until MOnday. So, I get to go up and give someone a gentle but emphatic and much needed earful on the merits of keeping their children safe and properly supervised. And what that looks like.

It's okay, you don't need to call the men in the long white coats, to come and take me away heehee hoohoo. I really am sane, even though I'm enjoying doing my work and excited about going up there on Monday to handle this. It feels strange to actually be excited to go to work. Excited for Monday coming- and it's only Friday night! Wow. Goes to show the strength that comes from being called to something. If I wasn't Called, I'm not sure how I'd do this. But since it was God's idea, not mine, it's working out, even though I'm not really sure how!

God is soooo good! He gets the glory, because I was not capable on my own...

Just realised I hadn't updated the Minti world. I am happily starting my second week of work in a new job. Oh, I'm still doing child protection, much to my mother's chagrin. And I'm still in the same community, which only deepens her chagrin. But, I'm happy, and that's all she cares about, really. But she would have liked me in a nice cushy soft job closer to her, and civilisation!

My new job is working with our First Nations people (those who were here before Europeon settlers. The original inhabitants of our great and sad nation.) The work is the same, but it is a different office just down the street. Case loads are smaller, attitudes are better and the people are friendlier. It has been a real blessing. A good bit of why I wasn't on here much for the last 9 months was work related stress. I just don't handle Minti well when my work stress is that high- it is too much the same.

But I'm doing good now. I'm chil-axing, and starting to come around well. It's a joy to be glad to go to work again. And strangely enough, in my new job, I'm freer to talk about God. Oh am I glad not to be with the governement anymore! Relief!!

I just wrote another advice. I haven't written one in a while, as you know, so I look forward to feed back.

This one isn't pretty reading. It's hard- it's the cold hard facts. I wrote it mainly because so many times I've been writing replies to people, and dealing with the emotional stuff, but needing to let people know the consequences of their actions. I've been needing to add the cold hard facts to the warm fuzzy encouragement and support. So, I wrote this so that I can just add the link...

Please let me know what you think.

I Am's Child.

Well, it's been the full work week since we found out a co worker committed suicide. I'm doing okay, smiling, and coming to understanding.

Thank you all for your input regarding the whole moving thing. The counsellors didn't come this week, sounds like they'll be here next week, but I will be otherwise engaged then. That's okay.

Today I was talking to the Local Rep from the union (he's the union big shot for our area), (yup, on a saturday!) and he asked me about what happened. He asked me about the office dynamics and stuff. He and I will talk more next week, but from what he said, there is the potential for something to be looked into about the office stuff which contributed to her decision. I am strongly in favour of that. She can no longer speak for herself- so I will be her voice and share what I know. I had told her several times when we used to go shopping and for drives, that if she needed me to, I'd speak up on her behalf. I seriously thought about it, but left it up to her. But now she's gone... someone needs to be her voice. I'm willing. (please, don't knock this idea, I need to cling to it right now- and I'm excited to do it.)

I now know a little more about how she ended up no longer employed... I can't share it, but it is a relief to know. It was both more and less serious than I'd thought. but I thank God that I know, and that someone is taking interest in her death. I thank God that something may be done about this... I thank God we're heading into another round of barganing at this time... It could make for some very interesting, but very hard days ahead. Makes me think of that old " Chinese curse"- "May you live in interesting times". The days ahead will be hard, but I KNOW God is in control, and all things will conform to his Glory in the end.

I'm doing okay. Starting to feel more normal. I've been more concerned about other things, in many ways.

I was a little puzzled at first that what happened didn't bother me more. I tend to be a pretty sensative, emotional person ( I know, that's not the stereotype of my profession, but it is true), and I almost expected a stronger reaction in myself. But then i realised that I had been expecting her to move away after she was no longer employed here. I hadn't heard of any job opportunities here, and with few ties to the community, i expected her to be moving on. And i had tried to talk to call her a couple times, and she didn't call me back when I left her a message. So, I think i was already distancing myself, preparing for a loss. For me, when you move, your Gone unless you make the effort to stay in touch. I moved a lot as a child, and for me moving is a terminal thing- it ends everything. I tend to be surprised when people stay in touch once they move away... usually it's me moving, and me making the effort to stay in touch. Anyways, back on trackhere, because I have a question for you Minti folks.

Does this seem reasonable? That my expecting her to move and her not returning my phone calls would have affected my heart in such a way that I'm greiving differently? We had been friends when she first came a year ago, but it was a gradual lessening over time... And I've been so busy at work, that I didn't have time for much of anything... other than work!

When it first happened, umm, I had other priorities. And I felt something welling in me, but was focused on my priorities and it went away. That was the first night, the first couple hours after I found out. I've found myself wondering about myself- am I being cold or hard, or just not greiving, or what? Is it just that I was already preparing for her to go?

When I think about it, she's just gone to me. I have memories of the times we spent together, of course, and they don't hurt, but their under a fog or veil in my mind. Their distant and not easy to think of. She'd already been gone, in many ways since she was no longer employed, about a month ago.

So, does this sound like normal greiving for the situation? I creid at the meeting when they gave us more details and we all talked about our reactions and stuff. But I haven't really cried much more than that. There are counsellors coming, and I think I'll probably go see one, just to check on me and make sure that I'm okay. I feel okay, but question it. Am I numb? Am I in denial? Or am I just screening things in my own head, processing only as much as I can handle and still function well, with the emotions almost taking turns? And it seems strange to me that I'm not even fretting about not fretting. it's just a quiet observation of myself.

So, what do you Minti people think? Is this normal greif or am I even greiving?