Well after a long ten year battle with cancer. My father Albert Miller has passed away. I am so sad. It's going to be a tuff Christmas. My mom is torn pretty badly. I know he is not in pain anymore but I still need my Daddy. The whole family was with him when he passed. I held his hand as he took his last breath. I have never seen anyone pass before. And I never imagined the first would be my Dad. He called me the night before and told me "baby girl this is your Dad, Baby I'm dying". My heart sank and my brother took the phone away from him and assured me that it was only the Morphine wearing off. Not to worry, he will call me in the morning. Well he called me at 8am and told me to fly like the wind, it was going to be any moment. There I was doing 95mph down the HWY, wildly crying, screaming "NO! I'm not ready". I made it to the hospital and he was between asleep and awake, eyes rolled into head, mouth open. I fell apart.  I held his hand for 2 hours, then he gasped a few times and slipped into heaven. I'm so confused,  and  sad. I'm worried about my mother.

So sad,

"the love we have for him, shines bright amongst the heavens" LAM

LAM

today im feeling the fall come to my city. i remember the smell of the air in the morning as a child . id wake up for school and you could almost smell the leaves outside. reluctantly getting out of my warm bed. scurring to find warm clothes. opening the house door to find your morning so chilly. the sad feeling that the summer  sun and coconut scented lotions are so far away. but you step out and begining your day. new year at school, new friends and trends.

not all is bad. the fall brings good things too. like festivals of colors and harvests. and halloween where every child, adult even pet. can be anything they want for one  magical night.

then the family gathers for a feast like none other. where the different cultures of your family shine through. some stuff birds, others roast hams. mashed potatoes and gravy and yams. thanksgiving is coming too.

mmmm

fall is aproaching! and im ready for the leaves! whats new in your town?

anyways... thats what i felt this morning.

 LAM

thats how many days until me and my boyfriend leave for our vacation!! yay. this year we are going to new zealand and australia. any ideas out there on what we should not miss?

im super super excited. last year we went to greece and new york.

we will be in nz for 12 days and aus for 5.  lots of peeps on here are from australia. im hoping you can share some killer sites with me. thanks for reading.

LAM

well do i? first off i have no children, and second im not marrried. let me tell you how i came to be.

i found the minti  website one day in fits of research for what was wrong with me. i had kept google-ing my symptoms, and ruling out everything. until finally i got an exact hit on how i felt, and the girl had an iud too. so to reply to her post i became a member.

i love this site. i cant wait to log in everyday. though im no mommy. i like to read the advise and send my thoughts. someday when i have children i know this site will help me. until then i will continue to log in everyday and read the moving stories of love, loss and learning. and sharing my experience with my birth control disaster.

thanks for a wonderful site.

LAM