It is tough suffering from depression, because it colours everything around you and the very relationships that you need to get through it can also suffer.  I have often wondered why it is more prevalent and maybe you're right, and it is because of our greed and desire for more all the time, but I also think it is a sign of the way that our relationships are breaking down - families used to be large support networks there to help each other (especially young families), but many people live miles away from family and are coping on their own - and coping with pressures and expectations previous generations never had.  Just my thoughts, anyway.  I really hope you feel better soon and will think about seeing your friend.  Can you meet at a park or somewhere, so you have some company without the pressure of cleaning up?  Getting out might help you feel a bit better too.  I can understand how you feel as I have struggled with depression several times over teh years and it is a real struggle.

Awwwwww that's no good at alland here I was just putting a comment on your Q and A about feeling down about your birthday, and I basicly wrote "get over it" sorryyou really are having a tough time atm hugs! With your friend you really shouldn't worry about those sorts of thing's, if you just explain to her before she comes over how you've feen feeling, and that the house is messy, she will understand. It's very importnant with depression to keep contact and have friends, so invite your frined over!!! it will be good for you and your son.

Hugs to you . Depression is hard to del with sometimes actually most of the rtime. I have suffered depression rather badly the last 6 months an just the daily life things can be so hard . But maybe it would do you a bit of good to have a friend over for a chat etc . Dont worry about the house being clean im sure your friend will understand judt have a quick run eound im sure your friend would understand you are not feeling the bedst at the moment after all she isnt coming to see your house she us coming to see YOU . Keep ya chin up and if you ever wanna chat you know where i am xxx

i know it seems as if your alone but as i have learnt over the years your not .even thought it feels that way .one of the reasons why i have so many kids is becasue it shuts the voices in my head .your guys are a gorgeous couple .and have a gorgeous son,just make sure your there for each other ,when teh baby is asleep sit together ,talk calmy about your days over a cup of cofee,give each other gifts even if its a love letter,you dont have to get rid of your son to do it ,i have never been apart from my kids,yet me and my husband still find time fo each other,if your totally exchasted have your partner take the baby for a few hours while you sleep for 2 hours .u need to charge up,my charging up of 2 hours last me for over 1 year,it will do you good ,tell him to take a sicky for one day or do it on a weekend ,dont clean dont do nothing ,for 2-4 hours ,have him play with the baby while you clean.or even your mum can watch the baby while you catch up to house work.

i dont have any family ,and my husbands family are no good .so you see we 2 are alone .true friends dont care about what your house looks like ,you want to remenber your child and how much fun you had together you dont want your child to remenber you as the clean freak.

I feel awful you have to go through this :(. Especailly with inlaws like that it must be hard.

Just invite her over sweetie it will do you some good to have some adult conversation.

I dont know why its more comon these days. I know money and work are big issues these days and maybe back then they were just told to get over it and was never diagnosed with depression.

I loved chatting to you on msn. I hope to talk to you soon :)

Love kell

xoxo

I figure people are more important than houses, and if you saw my house you'd know I mean it LOL! If people arent prepared to overlook your untidiness then they arent the friends for you. To be honest, if they notice the mess, they will probably be relieved that either "it's not just me" or "at least someone struggles more than me"!

And if you're feeling depressed, it's probably best to have someone visit so you cant sit in a corner and navel gaze all afternoon. And your DS will be stimulated by playing with another child and it may burn off some excess energy making him easier to handle later on.

Anyway, worrying about people popping in is just a waste of energy. My mum still worries every day if people will drop in and that the house is so untidy. Almost no-one visits any more and my dad does a good job of keeping the place presentable now she is too ill to do anything. But she has had bi-polar for 40 years and it has warped her view of reality, and now the dementia has taken her a stage further, and so she doesnt realise that people are not judging her all the time - to be honest, most of us spend most of our time focussing on our own lives and worries and dont notice the lives of others half the time. And as for less depression 50 years ago, I agree that we do lead more pressured isolated lives now, which cant help, but although there is still a stigma today to do with mental illness, it is not half as much as 40 years ago, and that wasnt a patch on 70 years ago. I know because my mum followed her own mother health-wise. Granny was afraid she would be locked away if anyone knew she was ill. We were brought up as kids never to mention mum's illness because of shame. And when I started college I ended up in a little Bible-study group with a random set of students of various ages, backgrounds and nationalities. After a term of getting to know each other the host, who was open about her own depression, let us know that we had all individually confided in her about our own experience of depression. There was not a person in the dozen there who had not either suffered from it themselves or had a parent with it. After knowing that we were able to support each other a lot more! So I think we see it more now because we are better at talking about it, and the medical profession can offer more help than ever before. My mum wouldnt have seen us grow up if it wasnt for the medication, she used to say herself. Now she doesnt realise why she feels so awful .

Yes, Minti is a great place to vent. But I really must get to sleep. I got by on 5.5 hours broken sleep last night and I've been a zombi all day. Ni'night!

true friends dont really see  a mess.

no one is perfect no sooner you clean a lived in house becomes untidy. 

if you get a chance to read  the advice section you will see many a topic written about how to spend less time or tips on keeping a house tidy without spending lots of time cleaning

just an example keep toys only in one room. or have a container in the corner of a room with toys so that you can quickly chuck them back in when unexpected visitors drop in

declutter the house always makes it look neater keep things in draws or wardrobes.  if you have a spare room use it as a spare room keep things in therethat arent always needed in my spare room for example i keep the ironing board in there and the iron.  i dont have to keep unwrapping the ironing board as guest dont go in there and if they see that room so what

i keep my ironing in there i have an inbuilt robe there so i hang the shirts in there ready to be ironed. i keep spare blankets in there and all sorts of things.

if the bed is made the room looks tider  if the dishes are done the kitchen automatically looks tidy. make a list of things to do include basic things on there it makes you feel as if you have achieved a lot . i write down things like take a shower make the beds  cook and a lot more if i dont finish everything on the list i include it on the list for the next day. this way you achieve more and its less daunting.

break your day that is if you do housework in the morning do it for 2 hours then go for your stroll to the shops have icecream or coffee as i suggested in your questions and answers then come back and you will feel more in the mood to do more chores when you get back try to have a little nap during the day when your toddler is napping. set your alarm on your mobile or if you dont have a mobile set the alarm on the clock so that you dont oversleep and you wake befor your toddler wakes.

looks like you have your plate full at the moment what with your in laws  please dont be ashamed to have your friend over because chores are never ending

when i get the chance i will have a look at that website 

take care lots of hugs and kisses annie