I've been feeling different this past 2 days. No pain, no nothing... I just feel different. And it's been 2 weeks since my cervix has been checked for dilation. I mention this to my husband and he freaks out and tells me to think positively. I can't blame him, as he is not fully healed yet. But I will know soon enough because I am seeing my OB tomorrow. But at 33 weeks, being dilated now would mean I would have to be put on bedrest and that's not going to be easy - though putting Matthew in preschool for 5 full days wouldn't be hard. We've been communicating with the owner of the school and he has been wonderful enough to promise to work with us to accomodate our situation should it change dramatically at any given day.

Here's what's going through my mind:

• must wait until 34 weeks - my OB said if I make it to 34, he will not have to be as aggressive in preventing me from going into labor
• 35 weeks - my perinatologist said that if I deliver at 35 weeks, there is a 50/50 chance that we can bring the babies  home with us when I'm discharged 
• 36 weeks - at this point, my husband is technically fully healed from his surgery and will be able to carry some weight and help more with the babies
• 37 weeks - though my OB said that some babies born at 37 weeks can still some lung problems, they should really be out of the woods at this point

So... I am 33 weeks now. And from what I've been told, 36 weeks should be good enough... of course hanging on longer would be  even better.

Well, like i said though... I should know by tomorrow if I'm already dilated. If I'm not, I am confident I can make it to at least 36 weeks. I have a pretty good track record - I didn't dilate with my son until 2 days before his due date....and he was born on his due date!

It's amazing how my body changes from week to week. A couple of weeks ago during my husband's surgery I was able to drive back and forth to the hospital 2x a day and then walk to wherever his room was, but this week, I can barely complete a grocery trip without feeling like I'm going to collapse.

So, my hubby and I have decided that it would be best to put Matthew up to preschool for full days instead of half days. So starting either tomorrow or Friday, he will be there 3 full days (8 am to 6pm) a week. THis will allow me more rest time, especially since I make my doctor's appointments during those preschool days. And if my hubby can manage to drop him off and pick him up, that would very very great too. But we'll have to work that out, since I don't want Matthew to be at school too early and stay too late.

Nap times at school may be an issue for the first few days, but hopefully not too much of an issue. I guess if I make sure he wakes up early enough in the morning, he'd be ready to conk out on their nap time (1-3 pm).

I finally blew up yesterday. I was eating lunch, my son was running around the livingroom, and my husband was in the office with his computer. He woke up at 10am, while Matthew and I have been up since 7am. I just thought that my husband could have at least taken over watching our son so I could go upstairs and lie down for a couple of hours. But he instead went straight to the office after he woke up. I was upset and brooding so I finally confronted him.

He told me he gets tired easily and is still needing a lot of sleep.... I have no problem with that. I explained that since I can only do half (and that's already overdoing it) of what I used to be able to do, and he can do half of what he used to do...that together, we need each other just to take care of ourselves and take care of our son. Well, he said something that just set me off and that was it. I went on a rampage, hitting walls, yelling at the top of my lungs (not easy to do when I can barely get enough breath enough as it is), throwing things. Thankfully my husband had the brains to take our son out of it and took him up to the bedrooms so I didn't scare him too much.

Several hours later and we're all fine. My energy flactuates so much that I don't know when I'm doing too much until it's too late and I'm on the verge of a meltdown. My husband is going back to work on Wednesday and then I will have no help during the day at all.  I am trully very tired of being pregnant.

The inlaws left Wednesday (after being here 2 weeks) and so we are trying to get back to normal. OK, relatively normal..as I am limited on what I can do, and so is my husband. He will return to work Wednesday next week.

I am the one who looks after Matthew, and my husband looks after himself. He has to blend his own food (he's still on a liquid diet) and do things on his own with little help from me. But being in pain (even with narcotics), he gets a little grouchy sometimes. And being very very huge and pregnant dealing with a 2 year old, I can be as grouchy too. But we are improving and getting into the groove of things. But our floors are getting messy, even if it's only been 2 days since we've been alone. Neither my hubby or I can bend down very well to pick toys up off the floor!

On a happy note, I am now 32 weeks. Wow... 32 weeks! Technically, 3 more more weeks and I'm sort of out of the woods..but my hubby wants me to hold off for 4 weeks instead (as if it's up to me) so that he will be fully healed by then and be able to lift and help with the babies.

 

I am now seeing my perinatologist every week and getting ultrasound and getting monitored on those visits. Last Monday, I was told that the girls are now 4 lbs, and 4 lbs 7 oz. So I am now carrying 8 1/2 lbs of babies. Yikes! And boy, do I feel it. Nothing is easy anymore. Turning from side to side in bed is a chore in itself.  But I am now 31 weeks and who can complain when the stake is whether we get healthy healthy babies or not so healthy babies.

The girls are also very active. One minute they are right under the monitors and the next they've jumped to the other side of my belly. It's quite funny to hear/see.

I am still moving a bit much. Personally, I think I'm just doing fine. But people around me, my doctor included, thinks I should really slow down. But how can I??? There are lots to do!!  Though internally, I'm thinking to myself... please don't let me be the reason for something that may happen, as I don't think I can forgive myself.

 

This past week has been tough on everyone. My in laws have been here a week now, and at first Matthew loved having them (he still does), but I can see that he has changed this past few days. When I'm home, he tries to push his Nana away and if he sees Nana doing something I normally do (like peeling his apples), he says "no!!" 

I dropped him off at preschool today and for the first time, he grabbed on to my shirt and wouldn't let me go. I stayed for about 15 minutes and he just absolutely refused to let me go.  It was tougher than his first day there ever. He is insecure as his routine has not been the same this past week. His nap times and bed times are the same, but the changes are getting to him. Poor little guy.

My husband is still in pain and has turned out to be a grouchy patient. His narcotics dull the pain, but doesn't take it away completely. I am told that this is the case with anything that has to do with the bones. His mom is the one doing most of the caring for him, but I still check on him. And on those occassion, I see his grouchiness and being 7 months pregnant.. it's not easy to shrug it off. So yesterday, we finally had come head to head. It's the first time his mom has ever seen us this way, but thank heavens she understands. Both she and my husband's father left for an hour to let us work things out... and we did.

It's been tough!!! If not for the in-laws, we'd be in a whole different situation right now. I may be in a hotel somewhere with Matthew and left my husband to care for himself. Well, maybe not... we're not like that...but our house sure wouldn't be a fun place to be in!

 

The hubby's had his 5-hr jaw advancement surgery on Wednesday. I had my son in preschool and I had a doctor's appointment so I couldn't be in the hospital. But my hubby's dad was there the whole day with him. By afternoon, I was able to visit him for a little while, as he was in the ICU for 24 hours.

The next day was busy too. Went to the hospital and spent a few hours to visit, then came home and got my son to nap (he wouldn't nap with his Nana), and then went back to the hospital. Very very busy.

By Friday, his dad and I were about to leave the house to get my hubby as he was being discharged, when I went to the bathroom and noticed I blood. So the trip to pick up my husband was sidetracked. I had to drive to my doctor, and then left my father in law to pick him up.

Thankfully, my doctor said the bleeding was only due to a polyp. It's normal and would be left alone as long as it doesn't bleed heavily. Though my doctor wasn't too happy about me running around all over the place when he has already told me before that I must be off my feet as much as possible.

 

Alright, it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm awake. I woke up to make a bathroom trip and couldn't get back to sleep. My husband will be off to surgery in about 4 hours.

My favorite childhood memory involves my Lola (grandmother), because she was the one who raised me. She was a high-school teacher. And growing up, everytime I get sick, she would send one of her students (the ones who couldn't seem to do enough schmoozing with teachers) to get my favorite take out dishes. It always made me feel very very special.

RIP, Lola!

I am 29 1/2 weeks along, and for the last week and a half, I've been cleaning like crazy. At first the motivation is clear, my in-laws will be here this Tuesday to help out because of my husband's surgery on Wednesday. They will be staying for a week, and if we need them they will stay for a total of 2 weeks. So the cleaning is pretty routine... but it's gone past routine.

I wanted to clean pick up the garage so that it doesn't look like it was hit by a hurricane. I managed to get my husband to help so we did the whole thing in 2 hours. Then, I managed to organize my pantry a day later. I've cleaned all the rooms and vacuumed the floors and cleaned the bathrooms. My husband said that he thinks I'm nesitng, but I told him I couldn't be.. it's too early. I just want to take advantage of things and get things cleaned before I can't move anymore.

Today I shampooed the living room carpet. My husband looked at me (he knows it's pretty much useless to tell me to stop doing so many things), and said I better rest because his parents wouldnt' want me to exhaust myself on their behalf. I told him I want things clean so that things are in order before the babies are born. Now he definitely thinks it's the nesting instinct.

Anyway, for those who are concerned... I do stop to take breaks and if I feel at all like I'm hurting, I do stop.

In 1 short month since my son started preschool, he has been sick twice. He's been a healthy boy and onlyr been seriously sick (ear infection) once, and in this past month he's been sick twice! He hasn't been eating for the past 3 days and today he threw up and just wanted to cuddle. A couple of hours later, he wanted juice, so I gave him a little bit, but he threw that up too 10 minutes later. I do hope he gets over this fairly quick.

I'd hate to the twins get sick often because their big brother brings germs home from school.

Anyway, I must say goodnight now. I was thinking of Minti-ing for a couple of hours before bed, but 2 hours later, I haven't Minti-ed at all. Darm laptop. I walked all over my master bedroom looking for a spot that would give me a good signal. A bit later than an hour, I found a spot but I have to get into a weird position and now I'm in a bit of pain and it's uncomfortable. I guess I will try again tomorrow.

Night night!

 

My son is getting more and more frustrating lately. Perhaps it's because my patience has gone thinner and thinner the further along I getr in my pregnancy, or maybe he's just really getting terrible. He doesn't listen! He has a push car in the house that he pushes around and lately, he loves chasing the dogs with it.  One of my dogs just runs away, but the other growls. My hubby and I have told him that he cannot hit the dogs especially if they growl, but he doesn't listen. We've warned him that we would take away his car if he keeps doing it (and we have taken it away several times) and he still does it. ARGH!

I get so upset sometimes that I end up screaming at him and swatting him on the butt sometimes. I feel like I'm somehow causing lasting damage to him. I don't want him to be an adult with issues from his early childhood. Why do you ask, don't I just stop screaming then? Well, it's not that easy. When my back is aching and my babies just feel like they're going to come out of me any moment if I don't sit down, I can't stop myself.

Anyway, I don't know if kids are easier beyond 2 years old, but I have come to the conclusion that women should think twice about getting pregnant whiel your child is in the terrible 2 stage.

Last night before I went to bed, I drank a lot of water. When I laid down, I was uncomfortable and a bit nauseated. I thought it may be because of the water, but I don't think so. Then I started having cramps. I tried to time my braxton hicks contraction to see if it was beginning a pattern, but it didn't. So I tossed and turned, which was a chore in itself, until I finally fell asleep sometime after midnight. The cramps are gone now, but I didn't like it one bit.  Just another thing to tell my doctor...