I kno, its unusual these days for me to blog so soon after my last, but im being a tad naughty and staying up late.

We have finally found out what is happening with our little Kody.  I think I mentioned last blog that he had gastro. Well after having the runs for a week we decided to take him to the doctor (who squeezed his tummy and wondered why he pooped every where and had it dripping into her shoes...). She said to give him starchy foods like rice and mashed potato. This is to a kid the size of a newborn (not kidding, my nephew who is like 3 weeks old is roughly the same size!) because the pooing had damaged the cells lining his intestine and milk was aggravating it and shedding the lining each time he was fed. She said to come back in a week if it hadnt settled down and she would look into it further. Needless to say, even a spoonful of Farex in his bottle made it to thick for him to swallow and we were then faced the the problem of not being able to feed him anything.

After my incident when liam was only tiny (i blogged about this in my very first blogs) I was not taking some dumb doctors word over my own instincts. I was NOT going to be called a bad aprent by some doctor that didnt know me or my family, and I was not going to be blamed for an already underweight child losing more weight.

We rang the useless 13health number who DIDNT call an ambulance for once! They did however,suggest that what the doctor had told us was dangerous and to go see someone at the hospital, and that they would probably want to test for gardia.

So... we drove into the hospital and had him checked out and they took a poop sample. After speaking to a doctor who may possibly be related to doctor death ( anyone in oz would know who im talking about!) we went home very confused and rather pi**ed off. First of all, the triage nurse told me to tell the doctor that we wanted a referral to a pediatrician about kody's weight, which has had all the doctors a bit concerned. When I told the doctor this he said ' okay i will ask them'. Okay... not what i meant! 

After examining Kody, he then left to talk to a pediatrician. After  awhile he came back, and regurgitated some information. When we asked a question, he either didnt understand what HE was talking about or had to go ask someone else. He then told us to give kody some electrolite replacement powder. We asked if we gave that to him instead of his bottle, he said yes, then a few minutes later changed his mind to in btween bottles. then as we were leaving decided that he didnt actually need it anyway, as he wasnt dehydrated!

Well i knew he wasnt dehydrated, as several nurses and doctors had seen him over the past 24 hours and had said he wasnt dehydrated... i rang 13health AGAIn when i got home confused more thna ever. They didnt know what the electrolyrte powder was, it was NOT the one for infants and said to chuck it out. He wasnt dehydrated so it wouldnt do anything good for him. They said jsut to continue feeding him as normal. When we got the results of the poop test, we found out he is lactose intolerant! This is quite possibly the reason he has been unable to effectively gain weight, and also the reason he was born so small! I basically lived off dairy products, and he would not have benefited much from any of that during my entire pregnancy.

Its sad that it took almost 5 months to even test for this, instead of just saying he'll grow when he's ready. Its even sadder that my doctor was going to wait an extra week!

But the good news is we can get prescriptions for lactose free formula from the GP.... and it cost us About $5 for 5 tins of karicare brand formula... roughly 98c a tin... which saved us $140. it also alleviatres somewhat the dreaded problem with running out of formula at 5am and then having to go out as soon as the chemist opens to buy more.... you have to get all 5 tins at a time so you have a pretty good stockpile!

The other stupid thing is the doctor seems to want to try him on normal formula again after the five weeks... I know you can outgrow lactose inolerance, but i highly doubt that quickly. Some people dont out grow it at all.  As soon as brian gets his test results sorted out we are getting a new GP. This one has only been practising fora year, and doesnt seem to mind experimenting on children. Not my idea of a good GP.

Thats not to say I WANT my child to be lactose intolerant. Though its not something i see as a bad thing either. sure, it means changes, but apart from death and taxes, what else can you depend on? (unless your at avending machine, the only place in which change is NOT inevitable!). But i think i would be a whole lot moe comfortable waiting a few months, instead of 5 weeks to test again, especially if he has had it all along, i doubt it would suddenly disappear. I wouldbe lots more comfortable to test if he was at least the right weight for his age, instead of people asking me how many weeks old he is. Yes, i still have people telling me he looks like hes only a few days old.

As soon as we switched ot the lactose free formula he started bulking up. His rib cage is not hardly visable! YAY!. He was still in the smallest size nappies you could get, the grip tabs overlapped and they were too big around the legs so they didnt really hold anything in. Now the tabs dont even come close to touching and they hug his bum (he has one now!) So its great to see an improvement. He also got a routine happening which is fantastic! (not the mummy getting out of bed to start her day at 5 am part, but the fact that hes predictable now!)

Now onto the liam monster.

He has had a very educational few weeks. He can say just about anything you throw at him. his latest being 'not fair', 'shush, on the phone' not to mention all the other ones like helping, kiss, cuddle, and the adorable love mum, love dad. He also lvoes to say all better. He kisses his own 'ouchies' (he hasnt really hurt himself but is after attention when he has been sent to his room) and says all better. This is a bit gross, because they are always on his feet, but its really cute to see him lift his foot up and kiss it better. Any really ouchies we kiss better for him.

He is also fascinated by money. Empties my purse at every chance he gets. I let him keep my 20c peices, and put them in his money box when he has finished playing with them. he doesnt put things in his mouth, which is good. He just likes to carry it around and tell us that he has monies. He also has a favourite shell. Its just some plain shell we picked up at the beach, but he loves it.  he loves when daddy does magic tricks with it too.

He has taken up a passion for drawing. we curbed the drawing on the walls by simply leaving some paper and crayons out for him to use in the morning. This hasnt been so much a problem since Kody's routine got into place and mummy started getting out of bed at an ungodly hour. He also comes into our room at around 5 am now, instead of all through the night when kody woke him up. he comes in when kody wakes up, gives me a kiss and puts his blankie on the floor and lays on top of it. when kody has had his bottle that daddy graciously wakes up to make for me we then go out and get me and liam some brekky and we havea lovely day. Daddy of course needs his sleep and gets a sleep in for a few more hours. Liams drawing also extends from the paper. he has drawn on our lovely ( however scratched scuffed and worn they may be) timber floor. nothing major,. comes off with spray and wipe and hardly noticeble at all. The newest one is drawing on his leg. and boy does he decorate it. From nappy to toe and even underneath. Its just like daddys picture on his leg... except daddys isnt blue or pink or green or spotted....

anyway... thats all for now.... hope you all have a fantastic day, an awesome week and an absolutely wonderful holiday.

***Remember, Children will become what you beleive of them!*** 

Well ,after a few weeks of searching brisbane and toowoomba for a home, (who knew you couldnt rent anything in either area for 270 a week unless it was falling apart?) We ended up moving to hervey bay and living in my mothers loungeroom for two hellish weeks. I mean, there were fifteen damn people living there. And my mother, the queen of deception showed that actually hadnt turned into a real parent in the past few years, jsut got better at pretending. Yes, she even tried to break me and Brian up. Nice mum huh?

The last straw was when we were leaving her place, first, a glass door was blown shut by the wind anda glass panel in it smashed, and she wanted us to replace it, although it was her 17 year old son who had been using the door, and second, she was looking after Liam while we loaded the trailer up . He does not like my mum at all, and probably for good reason, so far he has been an excellent judge of character. I todl mum if he got too upset to send him downstairs to me again. I was surprised that we managed to get everything in the trailer without him coming down to me.

 I went up to get him. and he is on the couch next to my mum sobbing his poor little eyes out, and they are red and swollen, so he had been crying for a while. I asked how long he had been crying, and mum said the whole time. She then said she decided he neededto get used to her and her kids and so decided to keep him there anyway. I was furious. I told her that what she had done was basically child abuse and i was not happy. He didnt leave my side for days, the poor thing.

the other thing that annoyed me was my little sister deciding that she was sucha fantastic parent that she should be telling me how to raise my children. well considering my sister's child was 1 at the time, still ate tinned baby food, only drank from a bottle, and only milk, and still needed a dummy and be wrapped to go to sleep, i dont think i was wanting her advice. her great parenting methods include giving children a dose of paracetemol AND nurofen, even if they are jsut grumpy.  Nice work. I dont condone drugging children because they are more difficult than oyu would like. Kids have bad days too! and my mother decided that 37.1 was a high grade fever and that liam should be rushed to the hospital annoyed me too. she is a thermometer jockey. as soon as a kid is cranky, the thermomenter comes out. Her and my sister are a pretty awful combination. Mum actually said to me the next day that if i didnt take him to the doctor that she would. We really considered living in our car instead of her house.

We found a place VERY quickly, and its lovely. it has a deck and a front verandah, as well as a nice yard for the boys. Liam has taken to romping around and loves it outside. The town really is lovely, its certainly not the southbank we are used to, but the beach is nice (no sand at our end!) and the parks a re beautiful. but the major downfalls- no BIgW (half hour drive), no KMart (about an hour - 2 hours depending on traffic), no Hungry Jacks, no KFC and the PizzaHut also recently closed.

AS it was pouring down rain both times we were moving (highways closed and all) we all got quite a nasty cold- and 5 week old Kody ended up with Bronchiolitis. He could barely breath through the coughing and blocked nose.

After all this we had problems getting our phone connected, heaven knows why but it cost a fortune. (actually we had someone come and repair it AGAIN as it stuffed up our internet connection yesterday). problems getting our net connecte,d I still havent received Kody's birth certificate.

My study kinda went down the drain big time. My GPA dropped massively and i only JUST passed a few of my subjects with a dismal 50%. This semester should hopefully be much better.

LIam is fantastic, drawing up a storm with texta's and on the computer. He actually started his drawing phase one morning whiler we were sleeping in and decided our walls were rather bare and decorated most of the blank spots on our walls with different coloured textas. According to Montessori's theory nothing you cna do will stop him form drawing as he is sensitive to it and the only way to pass the phase is to encourage it. Not on the walls of course, but we always havea mass of papers and pens available when we go to bed, and no more drawing on the walls since. some lovely pictures though! He has also started using phrases, and can say just about anything you ask him to, and can count to four! I didnt teach him this, his favourite naptime song counts sheep. Whenever he laughs he ssays 'funny' afterwards, and soemtimes adds a bit to it eg. "funny, in car" when laughing in the car. So cute. He also says love mum, love kody, love dad etc. "im stuck" and 'Im free" is also another cute one.

He is such an awesome brother. He helps change Kody's nappy, gets upset if he cant personally give you a clean one and put the dirty one in the bin, has to transport the bottle from one parent to the other, must help feed, and constant cuddles and kisses, as well as conversations. he adores his little Kody, and all you have to say is Kody needs help! and he is off to give him his dummy, cover him with the blankie again and lay down with him, patting his hair and saying all better!. Never been more proud of them.

Kody is now four months old, and weighs an incredibly low 4.1 kg. hes gotten longer, and his cheeks have filled out a bit, but he just isnt plumping up. His ribs are still visable :< The doctors arent concerned as he is hydrated and very alert and happy, but it still worries me a little. He currently has a gastro bug thats gonig around and we just came back from the hospital. A bit concenred it will make him lose more weight ( he lsota bit when he had bronchiolitis).

My sister had her second child on Friday, Kye David, and he weighed a nice big 3.7 kg. he is already bigger and chubbier than Kody, and I did not like my family comparing Kye to Kody one little bit. Each are their own child and as such should not be compared to anyone but themselves.

Brian hasnt had the best luck lately either. As we all know, he was only recently qualified as a personal trainer before we had tyo move. well there is absolutely no work for personal trainers in a beach town full of retired old people. His chronic fatigue and carpal tunnel make him unsuitable for the trades positions( only jobs going around here). He has been a greatr stay at home dad and looked after the boys while I was on prac and had a blast. We have now discovered he has arthritis in his ankle, which kinda makes his personal training career impossible now. He is trying to enrol in university for next year, to study a Bachelor of IT with a double major, the first in Gaming and Creative technolgies, and the scond in Multimedia.

We had been playing an awesome online RPG (my first!) called Tales of Pirates, but we arequitting this weekend in order to be better parents and spend more time with our children. We have made some lovely friends and had some great fun in this game and reccomend it to anyone with a little bit too much spare time on their hands (warning- it is very addictive. it is also free, but has an item mall, which you can buy items with real money (isnt really expensive). these items are only availabe in mall but are not necessary to play the game. it really is good. there is a lot to do.  But enough about silly games!

This last semester I have really learnt alot about myself, both as a parent, and as an early childhood teacher/educator. These insights have really motivated me to get through this as quickly as possible and be with children. My oqwn children are the most perfect angels you could imagine, (btw, did i mention Liam is nearly potty trained?) but I want to make a difference in the world, help other children who's parents DONT know what I know, make the world a bit more fun for a few more years, instead of 5 year old kids having a pathological view of the world. I really have realised just how passionate about kids I am, and I really cant wait to get started. I have taken a casual position with ABC centres in my area, mainly for the experience but also to try and releive some of this financial pressure, as in this place it is easier for me to get a job than it is for Brian. He cant wait to get back to Brisbane.

All of these stories in the news lately have just made me feel absolutely terrible, and some have actually had me in tears. Okay, yes I get carried away, and i might care jsut a little toooo much, but someone has to. How is it possible that in our country, in surburban melbourne, a 9 year old girl can STARVE to death? She weighed less than my toddler. its outrageous, and I cant help but wonder what on earth her parents really were doing.  The little boy found in a suitcase in the pond! how dreadful! The baby that diead because it had been beaten, and his 6 year old brother found restrained in a cot in the garage. again what on earth were they thinking! I admit, as a parent, i too make mistakes! i am not condemning anyone here, but i dont beleive the normal mistakes every parent will make from time to time include such severe neglect and or abuse! I bawled my eyes out when I read about the 3 year old that was basically ignored at the hospital E.D after being transferred there with a suspected twisted bowel. 24 hours this poor boy screamed in pain with his poor parents being bale to do nothing. When they finally did an ultrasound they couldnt see anything due to the buildup of gases in his tummy. that poor little boy died three hours later.

Yes our hospital is disgusting, and we all know that the department of child protection or whatever is doing much lesss than they need to be, but i beleive its getting worse, despite all the negative media and promises that its being fixed.

But with this election around the corner, i feel a change in the air, a VERY long awaited change, and hopefull promises are lived up to.

I am looking forward to my anniversay on sunday (2) and my birthday soon after, as well as Liams 2nd bday in january followed by brians in february. xmas should be nice this year, Having lunch at my mums (i wish i didnt have to) but mainly just us keeping to ourselves. Our first christmas alone really! our first christmas we had brians sister living with us, last year we flew to cairns to be with hsi family. This year I just want to enjoy what we have, and what matters most.

Anyway, thats my rant!

We had an awesome fortnight... tax return and baby in one day, then baby bonus plus extra that centrelink owed us thenext week... allowed us to get our shiny new BIG car....( a commoodore for anyone who cars) which is much better than our cramped little hatchback.

but as always, disaster struck. Funnily enough, it happened at roughly the same time last year. i open our front door one beautiful afternoon on our way down to the park to just be and enjoy life, andinstantly am put in a bad mood when i see the folded white peice of paper in the flyscreen. it could only mean one thing.

inspection.

only it didnt mean that at all. something much worse.

a notice informing us that our lease is ending in 12 days, and that we were not being offered another one.

so we currently have until the 28th to hand the keys bback. but because we have to use professional cleaners and carpet cleaners, we technically have to be completely out by the 26th. 7 days from today...

and of course we dont get paid again until the 27th, centrelink refuses to bring payments forward for accomodation costs ( actually the woman at centrelink is another story), and the only properties in the whole of brisbane in our price range are either taken or not available in time. we have to look in the bad areas because the prices of rentals are astronomical at the moment. we can afford around 270 a week, and cant get out of high crime rate areas! the real estate agents give us lists of properties with rent in excess of 400 a week! Who can afford that!?

but then my wonderful mum offered to help us move to toowoomba- 2hrs away and IN our price range. the problem was that we couldnt afford to actually GET there. so she is getting my dad and a friend to help us. dad has a big trailer, and the friend has aa nice big truck. mum is paying for the fuel which is a huge releif for us.

so were off to toowoomba tomorrow to check out some places. it'll be good there, its a very family kinda place, my nanna lives there *(free babysitter!) and i can go to uni on campus- something i have really been wanting- just to mix with people a little, and i learn heaps better when i can ask questions!

the next problem we are going to face is getting approved, as neither bri or i are working (still setting up his pt business), as most real estates want proof that your earning at least 3x the rent. (so people actually make 1200 a week to afford those 400 houses? who are they, where are they, and why arent they sharing!!??)

now the centrestink woman. i have never been so insulted by a more arrogant and obnoxious cow.

after being told over the phone to take that lovely peice of paper in to the office and they would move our payment forward, we went iin, waited an hour and had to leave for another appoinmment. went back next day, and were faced with the most unhelpful and uncaring woman on the face of the planet. I would have rather dealth with a terrorist. they would have had a bit more compassion.

After explaining our situation (of wich she obviously did not listen or beleive due to her comments further on) she then asked 20 questions as to exactly what we did with our baby bonus and extra that centrelink owed us, and why there was none left. Not that it was any of her or centrelinks business as to what we did with it, we politely explained that we had to buy a new car as we could only fit one car seat in our old one and couldnt travel anywhere with all of us (unless we were meeting someone who could watch liam or kody while brian came back to pick me and the other child us- pain in the butt!)

Her response to that was to look down her nose at me and exclaim 'surely paying your rent is more important than a car!'

HUMPH. my rent has NEVER been late. EVER. i felt like hauling the entire years worth of rent receipts that were in my handbag in case we did find a house to apply for out onto her desk and asking her to sift through every single one and fine ONE that was behind.

I kept my tempter though. but brian had to speak for me. he told her our rent was paid, and was always on time. She then decided that they dont kick people out of their homes unless they havent paid their rent, so we mustnt have.

HOW F'ING RUDE!!!!!

she had the damned peice of paper in her hand that states the reason for our eviction as being 'end of lease'

needless to say, we are putting in a complaint about her on tomorrow morning.

she then asked why we needed money BEFORE we moved. when we said moving costs she then responded wtih the stipulations prevent centrelink from granting forward payments for accomoddation costs, handed us a card with a number for a homeless shelter, said we should be more responsible with our money and then said sorry she couldnt help.

SORRY!?!?! sorry my big fat toe! i left that building in tears. i havea gorgeous 18 month old child, and a 2 week old, and those people would rathersee these beautiful kids reduced to living on the street than pay us a few fricken days early like they said they were gonna. It breaks my heart for our boys to have to go through this.

And now even worse, I feel like the biggest failure of a mother.

Not only do people make me feel guilty, 9not to mentionjudge me for beign a young mother- it gets worse when you have two kids!) I was really upset when i could only bresatfeed Liam for three months, and was determined to do better with Kody. But after all that happened I have dried up completely. in a matter of days. I was expressing after every single feed too. the first feed after we receied the notice i was down by about 60ml. by the next morning i wasnt even getting 40ml. that evening i ran out while feeding him, and the next morning we had to get formula as i didnt have ANYTHING when he woke up. I am utterly devestated at this as i only lasted 2 WEEKS. As if i didnt have enough to cry about already, without having that kind of guilt thrown upon me, even if i was the one doing the throwing. i know its not my fault, but  i really had my heart set on feeding for longer.

the world can be such a cruel and nasty place. I thnk im gonna go and get my groceries, and then probably cry some more.and  maybe i will be irresponsible and buy a bottle of water while im out instead of saving it in case a tree falls on me and i need to call an ambulance froma pay phone that doesnt exist. i wonder if that stupid woman would cut off my payments on the grounds of bad parenting if i did that?

6 days early (31st July-Natelz1 guessed it!) and Kody Theodore finally joined his impatient family on the outside!  Woohoo!!!!