We had an awesome fortnight... tax return and baby in one day, then baby bonus plus extra that centrelink owed us thenext week... allowed us to get our shiny new BIG car....( a commoodore for anyone who cars) which is much better than our cramped little hatchback.

but as always, disaster struck. Funnily enough, it happened at roughly the same time last year. i open our front door one beautiful afternoon on our way down to the park to just be and enjoy life, andinstantly am put in a bad mood when i see the folded white peice of paper in the flyscreen. it could only mean one thing.

inspection.

only it didnt mean that at all. something much worse.

a notice informing us that our lease is ending in 12 days, and that we were not being offered another one.

so we currently have until the 28th to hand the keys bback. but because we have to use professional cleaners and carpet cleaners, we technically have to be completely out by the 26th. 7 days from today...

and of course we dont get paid again until the 27th, centrelink refuses to bring payments forward for accomodation costs ( actually the woman at centrelink is another story), and the only properties in the whole of brisbane in our price range are either taken or not available in time. we have to look in the bad areas because the prices of rentals are astronomical at the moment. we can afford around 270 a week, and cant get out of high crime rate areas! the real estate agents give us lists of properties with rent in excess of 400 a week! Who can afford that!?

but then my wonderful mum offered to help us move to toowoomba- 2hrs away and IN our price range. the problem was that we couldnt afford to actually GET there. so she is getting my dad and a friend to help us. dad has a big trailer, and the friend has aa nice big truck. mum is paying for the fuel which is a huge releif for us.

so were off to toowoomba tomorrow to check out some places. it'll be good there, its a very family kinda place, my nanna lives there *(free babysitter!) and i can go to uni on campus- something i have really been wanting- just to mix with people a little, and i learn heaps better when i can ask questions!

the next problem we are going to face is getting approved, as neither bri or i are working (still setting up his pt business), as most real estates want proof that your earning at least 3x the rent. (so people actually make 1200 a week to afford those 400 houses? who are they, where are they, and why arent they sharing!!??)

now the centrestink woman. i have never been so insulted by a more arrogant and obnoxious cow.

after being told over the phone to take that lovely peice of paper in to the office and they would move our payment forward, we went iin, waited an hour and had to leave for another appoinmment. went back next day, and were faced with the most unhelpful and uncaring woman on the face of the planet. I would have rather dealth with a terrorist. they would have had a bit more compassion.

After explaining our situation (of wich she obviously did not listen or beleive due to her comments further on) she then asked 20 questions as to exactly what we did with our baby bonus and extra that centrelink owed us, and why there was none left. Not that it was any of her or centrelinks business as to what we did with it, we politely explained that we had to buy a new car as we could only fit one car seat in our old one and couldnt travel anywhere with all of us (unless we were meeting someone who could watch liam or kody while brian came back to pick me and the other child us- pain in the butt!)

Her response to that was to look down her nose at me and exclaim 'surely paying your rent is more important than a car!'

HUMPH. my rent has NEVER been late. EVER. i felt like hauling the entire years worth of rent receipts that were in my handbag in case we did find a house to apply for out onto her desk and asking her to sift through every single one and fine ONE that was behind.

I kept my tempter though. but brian had to speak for me. he told her our rent was paid, and was always on time. She then decided that they dont kick people out of their homes unless they havent paid their rent, so we mustnt have.

HOW F'ING RUDE!!!!!

she had the damned peice of paper in her hand that states the reason for our eviction as being 'end of lease'

needless to say, we are putting in a complaint about her on tomorrow morning.

she then asked why we needed money BEFORE we moved. when we said moving costs she then responded wtih the stipulations prevent centrelink from granting forward payments for accomoddation costs, handed us a card with a number for a homeless shelter, said we should be more responsible with our money and then said sorry she couldnt help.

SORRY!?!?! sorry my big fat toe! i left that building in tears. i havea gorgeous 18 month old child, and a 2 week old, and those people would rathersee these beautiful kids reduced to living on the street than pay us a few fricken days early like they said they were gonna. It breaks my heart for our boys to have to go through this.

And now even worse, I feel like the biggest failure of a mother.

Not only do people make me feel guilty, 9not to mentionjudge me for beign a young mother- it gets worse when you have two kids!) I was really upset when i could only bresatfeed Liam for three months, and was determined to do better with Kody. But after all that happened I have dried up completely. in a matter of days. I was expressing after every single feed too. the first feed after we receied the notice i was down by about 60ml. by the next morning i wasnt even getting 40ml. that evening i ran out while feeding him, and the next morning we had to get formula as i didnt have ANYTHING when he woke up. I am utterly devestated at this as i only lasted 2 WEEKS. As if i didnt have enough to cry about already, without having that kind of guilt thrown upon me, even if i was the one doing the throwing. i know its not my fault, but  i really had my heart set on feeding for longer.

the world can be such a cruel and nasty place. I thnk im gonna go and get my groceries, and then probably cry some more.and  maybe i will be irresponsible and buy a bottle of water while im out instead of saving it in case a tree falls on me and i need to call an ambulance froma pay phone that doesnt exist. i wonder if that stupid woman would cut off my payments on the grounds of bad parenting if i did that?