Just wanted to let you know that I have missed you all terribly. Hopefully as the days pass, I will be around a bit more to annoy you all. 

Much Love 

Janice has asked me to write a short blog for her, as she is not yet ready to return to Minti, although she is making incremental improvements each day.  Tomorrow will be two weeks since the operation and we are beginning to understand those people who said it will be a long road to recovery. Did they mean for Janice, or me?  But she is being a very good patient, and is as close as she has ever been to obeying my instructions.  i am begining to understand now that the "honour and obey " part of the marriage vows only applies after a major operation, so i am now in negotiations with her surgeon for a follow up operation in order to maintain continuity of the "Obey"  feature !   The downside is that the obeying comes at a price, but whats a bit of housework, compared with this rare opportunity !    We are facing some small logistical problems as a result of Janice not being allowed to climb stairs. We have a 2 story home with the bathroom, and shower, upstairs. So showers have to be taken downstairs. These are accomplished by me laying out the garden hose across the lawn and waiting for the sun to heat up the water. When it is at the right temperature, Lady Godiva appears out of the laundry and is given a traditional bush shower !  Fortunately we have no close neighbours, although if the word gets out, a few may well appear !    The upside to all  this is that the upstairs part of the house is now my personal domain.  The stairs provide a natural barrier and there can be no inspection of this area. Is the bed made ? is the bathroon clean ?  are my clothes scattered all over the floor ?  have I put a beer fridge in the bathroom ?    Only I have answers to these questions and thats just the way i like it !  did the doctor say 4 weeks before she can clinb stairs ?  So, 2 more weeks of control !  Anyway, to get back to Minti, I have been reading Janice all your messages, but now she has her laptop in her downstairs bedroom, so I imagine that  it wont be long before she is back into it all herself.   We are not starving but pretty close to it !   I cannot tell you how utterly incompetent I am in the kitchen and how much I look forward to the day when a food pill is produced which provides all of the essential proteins and vitamins and can be washed down, three times a day with a large glass of wine.  Then we can demolish the kitchen and build in its place a walk- in fridge which can be filled with liquid sustanance, and the previously wasted hours of cooking can be more pleasantly applied to the gentle art of wine drinking. Our scientists, who are currently wasting their time trying to determine if the sea level is going up, or down can be redirected to the more important task of  developing a  food pill !   Can't be a big deal.   And then there is ironing !  No, I am not going there ! 

I will just thank you all for your support over the past few weeks, and will pass the baton back to Janice.  Steve is going upstairs ........       

I suppose that none of you will be suprised to know that all of the reasons for Janice staying in hospital were overturned on appeal, and I was directed to bring her home late yesterday ! Never mind that she lied through her teeth to the doctor about her pain levels, or that the highway betweem the hospital and home was flooded after nearly 12 inches of rain fell in two days !  Or even that she can stand and she can lie down, but cannot sit !   I do not own an ambulance or a helicopter, but these obvious deficiencies of mine were not to be taken into account when the decision was taken. Just, get me home !   So, as a compliant husband, i did as I was told and the patient is now home !    So, on her behalf, I thank you all for your thoughts and good wishes, which am happy to now have transfered to me in my unlikely role of house-husband.  So far, I have managed breakfast without drama so feel sufficiently confident to contemplate a widening of my repertoire. Fortunately it is far too wet to think about hot or cold wash programmes on the white beast in the laundry, so will just hang the dirty clothes on the line and let natures own rain do the job. Have to lower my carbon imprint somehow !   i think it will be at least a few more days untill Janice feels up to a return to Minti, but I know she is thinking about you all and is very grateful for your support.  So, I will sign off and return this page to its rightful owner. Steve x

But there are three good reasons why that won't be happening.  1.  The doctor said not before Saturday - and today is only Friday.  2. We have had a night of incredibly violent thunderstorms and the whole area is under flood, again.  So I doubt if I will be able to get to the hospital at the moment.  3. I thought I would leave her there for a couple of weeks anyway, to teach her who is boss around here ! Oh the power !    I might ring her in a few hours and negotiate some concessions in return for persuading the doctor to release her early on parole !  If only I could solve the cooking problem - and all my hot Minti chicks live too far away to come to my rescue. I'll go and have a nice glass of wine and watch the rain pour down and see if a solution presents itself !    The knees are in charge !