I found out on wednesday that I am pregnant again.  I told Michael and he was not happy.. he wants me to terminate cuz he thinks we wont be able to cope financially and emotionally.  I think differently.  I dont want an abortion, and I especially dont want one cuz someone else wants em to have one.  He said if I am going to keep it there is no point me going back to brissi cuz we wont last (or something like that)... needless to say we had an argument about that.  Told mum yesterday... she said the same thing and is pushing for me to terminate.  I just cannot do it.  I dont believe in it (for me), unless there was a medical or psychological reason for it.  I just can't do it.  I have spoken to heaps of girls in the same position and they say do what I think is best for me, not what will make everyone else happy.  Which is true.  And I have heaps of support from friends and stuff in brisbane.  I plan on going back down there and putting my name of the goverment housing list.  That way, I havemy support and Michael can see the kids when ever he wants.  I know it sounds easier than it is, but I have got a plan, its just hard to put into words.  Its not like I will be completely alone... I have so many friends and I have the YPP group as well. 

Plus, i figure the only thing i will really need to buy is clothes if i have a boy.  Otherwise, for the time being I can uses Jess's old baby clothes.  The new bub can sleep in the portacot bassinette until jess is out of the cot (which wont be too long after #2 is born) and i wont need to buy a twin pram (even tho i want one), cuz jess can sit in the one we have and i can carry the baby in a sling or pouch.  Then when jess is walking i can put the baby in the pram.  I obviously will need to buy things here and there, but for the most part, I can get by. 

I just want my mum to respect my decision and why I have made it, rather than lecturing me on how irresponsable and stupid I am.