I AM scared Mel.  scared of the unknown, scared of the outcome and what i have to do to get there.  I am using every bit of energy to stay rational and think about things.  no-one gets anywhere by falling in a heap.  this is the crap i was given, this is the crap i have to deal with. i am dealing with this for a reason.....not sure what that is yet, but in the end it will be for the best.  i really believe that.

xx josie

hey arna.

i wanted to keep the house and for a while there i thought i would be able to.  but then when i went to the lawyer and worked it all out, by the time i pay him out his share i would have a mortgage around $290 000.  even if the bank would let me borrow that much on my part time income, i could never comfortably afford the repayments.

thank for replying to my question.  i think its a great idea if i had to still do early shifts, but i am still thinking about all of my options.

i hope your "afraid of heights" skirt didn't cause any embarassment.  those are the moments you hope you have decent undies on! LOL.

I figured you'd have already investigated that.  Was hoping you hadn't yet, but you are 2 steps ahead of me already! lol.

There has to be some way you can keep the house.  Maybe someone wanting to invest who'd be prepared to go halves? 

Yeah, thankfully I was still inside when the skirt fell off, but I wasn't when my dressed spilled my top half yesterday.  Let's just say, it amused quite a few drivers! lmao!

Mu has convinced me that its better to sell, once all the problems are fixed.  i think the cracking is going to be an ongoing problem and i dont want to repeatedly deal with a house that keeps falling apart.  more trouble than its worth.

I'm surprised you didnt cause an accident!  look on the bright side- they were probably all strangers and you will never have to see them again!

I actually think selling up is a good thing.  You get to start completely fresh,and rule the roost from day 1!  Then, you won't have the constant reminders of x's depression and all.

I'm hoping they were all strangers too, though I didn't bother looking at any of the cars! LOL.  Just for the front door!

oops, thats supposed to be Mum, not mu

Hi Janice.

I have missed everyone here too.

On the positive, I know that eventually all of these problems will be worked out one way or another, and at the end life will be better than ever (even in a smaller, cheaper house).  I still have more good days than bad days....despite all of this.  i have been focusing a lot on my coping strategies- health and fitness, counselling, music, remembering whats fun and good old retail therapy!

thanks for the birthday wishes- i'll be 29 in a week and a half.  i am really looking forward to going out.

xx josie

hi Juzzy.

comfy was not the intention- red stilletos to make me feel better!  i just got a new red dress to match (i have 2 red dresses that i had a choice of wearing....but then tried them on and both were too big!).

i have accepted that this will be a fresh start, I am even starting to look forward to it (minus the whole selling and moving thing).  I wish i could fast-forward through the next 12 months.

thanks for your support.  i really do appreciate it.

xx josie