The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
 
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
 
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that; and I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
 
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
 stuffed under her sweater.
 
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."
 
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."
 
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
 
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
 
"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
 
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-centre, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there."
 
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another "Middle Wife" comes along.
 
Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this alongto someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
 
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy! 

 

 

 

Well Friday Imogen had a really bad day when her top gum swelled up to nearly 3 times their usual size (you may have seen in the Q and A).  I took the day off work yesterday and was going to take her to the Dr because it just looked abnormal.  Yesterday she was better and her gum turned from white and swollen into dented and purple.  Lucky I took the day off because I ended up sick (D+V)- don't know where that came from, usually everyone else gets sick and I stay well (to look after them all I guess).  I think being surrounded by sick kids at work all day every day has built my immune system.  Although Lachlan had an episode of diarrhoea on Friday that I ended up having to clean out the carpet- he went to the toilet then decided he wasn't quite finished yet and couldn't get back in time.  So maybe the poo scrubbing made me catch something.

Friday- swollen gums

Back to the teeth.  Today The tooth has broken through- HOORAY.  but the surrounding gum looks yellow and sloughy, yuk.   We'll see what it looks like tomorrow.  But for today she has been quite happy and settled so its not bothering her.  I am still putting teething gel on for now.

Today- broken through and yuk.

 

One of those days! My kids are driving me insane.  I wonder if there is a full moon?

First thing this morning, the kids aren't even dressed and they decide they are going outside to play.  After much "persuasion" they came back inside, so I fed the baby.  While I was feeding they went back outside and I found them in the garage with the door locked behind them, playing with the hazard lights in the car- AHHHHHH, gggrrrrr.

They have done nothing but fight with each other all day (if it weren't for kindy this morning I think I would have knocked their heads together by now).

I think the baby is having a "wonder week"- teething and not sleeping, but also she has started a few other tricks lately- like standing by herself, blowing kisses, smiling with her nose screwed up (cute) and all that must take effort to learn.

Lachlan just peed all over charlotte and her elmo- I have no idea why he did that, he has never done anything like that before.

We haven't been for more than 5 minutes at a time without someone crying/whinging/yelling or needing some sort of assistance.

why are they being so naughty? I am exasperated!!!

Hubby has been home 5 minutes and he is already sick of them (I can hear it in his tone of voice).  I am nicking off to netball after dinner to fill in for a friends team- I think I might get some of my suppressed frustration out before the kids cop it.

gotta go finish cooking dinner.  kids are screaming at each other and hubby is yelling.  must go and reclaim some peace, you know- mediate.

24 hours in the life of a breastfeeding working mother of 3

last night 10pm- feed Imogen and settle to bed

somewhere around 1045pm- fall asleep

11pm- Imogen whingy, get up to resettle

1am- Imogen whingy, get up to resettle

1:45 am- same thing again (gee she'd better be teething....ratbag!!)

4:30am- give in and feed her, have to get up soon anyway.

5:30- alarm goes off, time to get up for work

6am- Imogen and Charlotte up- last cuddles and off to work

7am- start work

10am- stuff my face with morning tea whilst working and express in an empty patient room only to be interrupted 1/2way through because the dr I was waiting to talk to finally arrived to the ward.

1pm- eat lunch and hide in the treatment room to express.

3pm- YAY got out 30 min early

3:40- pick up kids from childcare......breastfeed, spend some quality time playing in the rain (its a bit of a novelty, given the drought).  Remember to put my expressed milk in the fridge and cook dinner.

5:45- hubby not home yet, running late, decide to deal with dinner by myself. kids being naughty, spent most of their time away from the table than in their seats eating....gggrrrrr

6:15 ish- bath kids

6:45ish,-breastfeed again, put Imogen to bed and charlotte falls asleep on my lap (shes getting sick, chunky cough and a mild temp). carry charlotte to bed.  Say goodnight to Lachlan.

do dishes, clean kitchen, empty childcare bags ready for kindy tomorrow, tidy lounge etc etc.

8pm catch up on internet surveys, read and delete emails and have my quality minti time!

wait for next breastfeed then crash into bed.

I wonder why I feel a bit tired?

 

I am feeling down and flat.  Most of you may have read that my dog had to be put down yesterday.  Old habits die hard.

I walk past her indoor water bowl and think, I must fill that in a minute- then remember.

I automatically look in her bed when I walk into the games room- then remember.

I check her outside water bowl by habit when I hang the washing- then remember.

I hear a dog barking outside, and expect her to run to the front window to join in- then remember.

I wonder why she hasn't eaten the piece of fritz fallen under the kitchen table from lunch time- then remember.

I go to call her because I wonder where she is- then remember.

I call the kids inside, but accidently use her name instead- then remember.

I tell my husband to close the garage door because the dog will get out- then remember.

I come home from the shops and expect to see her sitting at the gate- then remember.

I still walk slowly, shuffling in the dark, because I know she likes to lay in the most inconvenient places (dark dog on dark slate in the dark means trip and yelp)- then remember.

I make sure the kids food is out of reach when they leave the table for a moment, just in case she helps herself- then remember.

I think I hear the jingle of her collar- then remember.

I took the kids to the library today, and we borrowed some books on losing a pet.  Yesterday afternoon I helped the kids make scrapbooking pages with photos and doggy stickers that they now have stuck to the bookshelf next to their beds where they can see her, and on monday they will take them to kindy show and tell.  Tomorrow I will have to put her bed and kennel away because I can't stand not seeing her in it.  She was my first baby.  I miss her so much.

For the last week and a half, our black labrador Ripley has been back and forth to the vet for a lame leg. 

Today she did not come home with us. 

At first the vet thought her injury was a sprain, but despite extra pain relief, she was still not improving.  The vet did an x ray yesterday and phoned through with the news that she has bone cancer.  We had 4 options, 1-give chemotherapy, but this was known to be not very effective and she would probably die anyway, 2- amputate the leg, but the vet advised us that big dogs do not cope well with this procedure and if the cancer had spread she would die anyway, 3- take her home for palliative care on higher doses of pain relief, but we already knew she wasn't coping with her pain and with 3 small children there would always be that higher risk of an attack, or option 4- euthanase.

Yesterday we picked her up from the vet, took her home and let the family say goodbye.  We took lots of photos and a foot print and explained to the kids what was going to happen.  Thankyou to all who responded to my question and offered support.

Today at 11:30 am we all went to the vet.  I wanted the kids to see the vet is a real place and that the vet dr is a nice man who will look after Ripley.  My husband went in with the dog whilst my sister and I stayed in the waiting room with the kids.  I continued to explain what was happening, and that the dog would not be coming home with us.  When my husband came out of the consulting room, Lachlan really wanted to go in and see Ripley.  This was something I was hesitant about, but in the end we decided that the kids could see her.  I told them that she would look like she was asleep, but she had already died and her pain was gone.  They gave her one last pat and we all had cuddles and said goodbye.

Ripley: born 25th May 2000, put to sleep 20th March 2009

me and ripley

charlotte and ripley

lachlan and ripley

imogen and ripley

Rest in peace Ripley. xxooxx  :(

I want to go to bed, but sitting here waiting for the next breastfeed.

Worked sunday.

Cleaned all day yesterday in between playing netball and walking the kids to and from kindy.

Worked all day today.  Got hardly any sleep last night.  Imogen was unsettled frequently during the night- waking every hour or 2 for 10 minutes or so then going back to sleep, except I was lying awake waiting for that definitive moment that I would have to get up.  Lachlan wet through his "dry Nights" not once, but twice and somehow charlotte ended up in our bed as well (meaning in the end there were 4 in the bed).  I have been going flat out since 5:30am.  The dog still has a bad leg, she's been back to the vet tonight and now needs an xray that will cost about $400, since shes on 3 different types of pain relief and not improving.

Tomorrow I have to drive to the hospital for charlottes appointment with the respiratory dr, drive home get ready for work then drive back again to the same hospital to work an afternoon shift.  I'm tired just thinking about it.

Thursday seems to far away to think about right now.

maybe I'll just go fall asleep on the lounge.

I really want everyone to sleep tonight.  But I think the teething monster has returned.

I wonder what would happen if I just put my head down on the computer desk here and rest my eyes?

Back in 2002/2003 I nursed a boy who was dying of bone cancer.  He was gorgeous and his family were lovely and a pleasure to be involved with.  Since he passed, his parents have had another son, who now goes to the same kindy as my 2 kids.  Small world. 

Anyway, this mum  (we'll call her C) is having a tupperwear party and popped in last night to show me the catalogue (I do need more tupperwear) so we sat, had coffee and chatted about old times, her sons, my kids and how life is treating us.  While she was here, my son Lachlan woke crying (a bit like his old night terrors but not nearly as severe), he coughed a bit, vomited (I think he vomited because he was upset) and got more upset.  My husband stayed with him and told me after my visitor had left that Lachlan was scared of "the spirit" in his room.  Now I have no idea where he got the term "spirit" from.  I don't remember ever saying that word around the kids.  My hubby was slightly freaked over it.  Lachlan has always seemed sensitive to stuff like this, he says strange things and unexplained things have happened around him.  I think perhaps C's passed son may have come visiting with her and Lachlan was sensitive to his presence? 

He is a bit unwell today too, which may have also contributed to it, but my husband swears Lach was seeing something he was afraid of.

I have just been outside watching the kids painting while breastfeeding when  Charlotte proclaimed: “red and blue and yellow make brown”.  I was still PMSL at this insightfulness when Lachlan replied “no, it makes a beautiful butterfly!”.  Well I guess that’s logical if you are folding the painting in half and have a 4 year old brain.  Pessimist vs optimist?   The funny things kids say, never ceases to amaze me- or make me laugh!

Painting the bedroom today while the kids are in childcare.  I can already feel the strain in my neck from painting the ceiling of the bay window.  Thats going to hurt tomorrow.  I just have one more coat to do on the feature wall (before I pick up the kids, just waiting for paint to dry) then a huge mess to clean up.  Did I mention I have visitors tomorrow: eek- my house isn't vistor friendly ATM.

My poor doggy has a sore foot.  Ripley, my labrador started limping yesterday and I saw no improvement today so I took her to the vet (luckily the kids are in childcare because its impossible to take the dog out in the car with 3 kids).  She already has arthritis in her back legs and the vet thinks either she has sprained her front foot or her front is becoming arthritic too for compensating the weight from her painful back legs.  Anyway, shes got lots of drugs now and needs to have an arthritis plan.   Poor doggy, getting old.

Better go and see if my paint's dry yet. I miss my babies.

Painting with the kids

excuse my wedgy bum- i didn't realise i was in the picture too when this was being taken- not my best angle.

kids wall art :before

kids wall art- during painting

Well, as I blogged yesterday- I did the 1st coat of the lounge room paint.  Today the 2nd coat was needed, so my sister and I took the kids to Cleland wildlife park in the Adelaide hills (Crafers) so that my husband could finish the painting in peace (yesterday the kids were hanging around and wanting to help, I had to repaint a section of the wall because Charlotte walked againt the wet wall- paint off wall+ paint onto clothes).  Maybe I need to add that experience to the "daft " group- moral of the story- don't paint with "helpful" kids around!  Day 2 and we learned our lesson.

We had a great day at Cleland.  The kids loved feeding and patting the animals.

There was a lot of walking and it was exhausting reminding the kids to be quiet, gentle and not run near the animals- they were so excited.  Those poor kangaroos got a fright when my 2 arrived!  At least they went to bed early (the kids that is, not the kangaroos- well they might have too, LOL).

I have just spent the day painting my lounge room.

All those non-removeable pen marks- gone!

All those dirty spot on the wall where I scrubbed the paint off trying to remove the kids "art"- gone!

All the dent from the kids not being careful enough with their toys (or bodies)- gone!

Gee it looks good.

I wonder how long it will last? (I went for the kids washable paint this time).