hi all its been a crazy week so i will brief you

on tuesday morning my water broke [my due date ] i went straight to hospital with some mild contractions they wanted to send me home for a few more hours but they were getting really bad really fast so i didnt go anywhere everything went pretty smoothly up until he was born i pushed him out at half past nine tuesday night and he wasnt breathing properly so they took him straight away to the neonatal intensive care and then all i wanted to do was go and see my baby cause they didnt no how he was gonna be but then i started hemmoerging [dont no how to spell it ] and they were gonna take me to theater but i stopped bleeding so that was all good and then i finally got to see my newborn three hours later he was beautiful but he had so much machines coming out of him i didnt no what to do i couldnt hold him till wednesday afternoon and then we got told he might have to go to theatre but he didnt have to either and then we found out that the membranes and placenta were screwed up and that it could have bleed out at any stage in the pregnancy and me and the baby wouldnt be here

anyway he just got out of nicu today and i finally get to take him home on monday im still at hospital didnt want to leave him

but after all that mum and bub are doing great his name is noah and he weighed 8 pound 10 ounces but after this ordeal i dont think im gonna have another one

im at this stage were i feel like im never gonna give birth and he is just gonna stay in there for ever i keep having false labour pains and i cant walk or eat or sleep

he is never gonna come he is just going to stay inside of me for the rest of my life at least thats what it feels like anyway

hey just thought i would drop in and tell you all that my little one hasnt come yet ive still got 9 days to go but these bloody braxton hicks contractions are getting worse hopefully he will come today

still no baby im 35 weeks but the doc says he is really big and ready to come im going in bumpy car rides and doing everything everyone is saying to do but still no baby oh well i guess he will come when hes ready

im 33.5 weeks pregnant and i cant wait any longer i want to give birth right now im so uncomfortable i feel like my stomach is about to explode and my legs are gonna cave in from under me i wish this next 7 weeks goes by in a blur because if i remember everything im feeing right now for future reference im never having anymore children!!!

my daughter got her plaster on for her talipes today and shes fine but im a mess as im 33 weeks pregnant so i cant carry her shes to heavy with the plaster on so when she asks me to pick her up my heart breaks i have to remain strong though for her so i have to suck it up i guess

ok im not going to get into too much detail but when i was pregnant with my daughter and also five months after i was in an extremely abusive relatoinship that caused my to lose everything my confidence my willpower and most of my friends and family i finally got out of this relationship and he moved states i just found out he is back and he is threatning to come and find me i have had avo's on him but they do nothing i feel scared but im also feeling like i shouldnt have to run any more dont i deserve to live my life

anyway no one needs to reply to this if they dont want i just needed to vent some things and get them of my chest

8 weeks to go till baby number 2 i cant wait im so uncomfortable