Today we spent the whole day at home (except for a walk in the arvo).  I cannot remember the last time we spent the whole day at home.  I went a little crazy with the spring cleaning.  My parents were coming over for dinner and for some reason I just freak out about the state of the house when they are coming over.

Mind you my mum is a clean freak and used to comment on how our house looks.  Now I rarely invite them over so it isn't as much of an issue.  This is the same mum that irons the clothes I pack for Mia when she looks after her.  She means well and just wants the best for her granddaughter.  But if she had her way I would spend my entire life chained to a broom, mop and duster.  Rich did some work in the garden and Mia wandered between the two of us. 

When Mia went to sleep I took off for walk along the river.  It was another gorgeous day in Perth and one of my favourite things to do is walk along the river.  This time of year is magic, swans are nesting if that is the right term and the dolphins were putting on a display for the crowds.  I wish had my camera with me. 

My parents and sister were supposed to come over at 5pm but one thing you should know about my family is they are never on time.  They are not the normal not on time kind of people they usually arrive up to an hour early.  Yes early.  My sister arrived when I was in the shower, Mia had just woken up, dinner wasn't made.  My parents arrived shortly after as I was still getting dressed and Rich was in the shower - My parents reasoning for being early was dad was hungry.  I explained to him very quickly that turning up early didn't mean getting fed early.

So dad played soccer with Mia to keep himself entertained whilst waiting for dinner.  She love it, I haven't heard her giggle for so long for ages. I remember as kids dad always used to play ball sports with us.  Over dinner we tried to talk him into joining a soccer team - he thinks at 61 years of age he is too old.  What crap sometimes I think he is younger than me.

My parents never stay late when they come for dinner so they were all gone by 8pm.  I never feel like I spend enough time with them but mum isn't one for being able to sit still for very long.   Especially over dinner - they see dinner as an act of eating rather than an act of socialisation.  It is hard to understand cause I love dinner - one of my favourite things is chatting over a good bottle of wine and great food, although I am a sucker for dessert and dessert wine.  Hang on you can't beat a good champagne cocktail either.

How good are weekends now that I work full time.  Get to spend most of the day with Mia which is awesome.  She stayed at my parents last night so we could support a good friend of ours who had his first DJ gig in a long time at the Saphire Bar in Subi.  Anyone from Perth who wants to listen to some great 70's soul should check out the Saphire Bar on Friday nights.  The bar itself is kinda cool with lots of comfy chairs if dancing isn't your thing.  Highly recommend it.

A trip to our local shopping centre this morning for much needed coffee and to pick up Rich's new contact lenses.  He still has his infection so still can't see.  The optomotrist told him that if he picked some frames he could make up the glasses today just in time for the big game between West Coast and Adelaide.  Of course he jumped at that opportunity.

I took off to pick up Mia and as always she was excited to see me.  We had to head back to pick up Rich and had to park a long way from the centre doors.  I don't know if anyone elses child is this way but Mia just wants to be picked up all the time, it is like she doesn't like walking anymore.  At 14kg or so that is a very heavy child to be lugging around all the time.  If you refuse her she gets cranky and even refuses to walk at times.  Today she just got cranky but I didn't give in.

We hung out with some friends this afternoon to watch the footy, what a nail bighter.  I don't even follow either team and I was getting nervous towards the end.  Certainly got our monies worth.  Couldn't talk Mia into wearing her Eagles top that we bought her for grand final day last year so Bella (3 weeks) ended up being wrapped in it.  Thankfully the kids played so the adults could watch the game in relative peace and quiet.

We are out again in a few mintues, just waiting on Mia to finish eating.  Today has been an eating day so I am not about to interrupt her.  It is like she stocks up one day and then hardly eats for the next few days.  It is a relief for me when she is eating, I don't worry so much, I was noticing today how skinny she looks.  I think her weight is ok but guess we should check that out.

Have a great night everyone.

I think I saw Mia for 15 minutes today.  Briefly as I was getting ready to run out the door for work and even more briefly when I got home.  She had a night terror so was up and looking be resettled to bed when I got home.  The perils of full time work I suppose. 

Tomorrow is a little better - I get to take her to daycare so our time is extended. 

Richard now has an infection in his eye and is going to be almost blind for up to a week.  He wears contacts which he has to remove and does not have any glasses. 

Man just watching the news and the highlights/lowlights of Steve Irwins memorial - need to go and get a tissue - what a sook.

I can't believe it has been 5 days since my last blog post.  Alot has happened since then.  The weekend as usual was a whirlwind.  Mia and I met my friend Jodi and her son (Jaxon - 3 1/2) at a park along the river.  Jaxon surprised Mia with some homemade flowers, it was the cutest thing.  Apparently he refers to her as his girlfriend whenever he is asked.  He has been right into craft lately so Jodi has been madly learning different craft activities to keep him entertained and flowers was the latest project.  They were really well done - something to remember for mother's day or one of the grandmother's birthdays.  Of course not being crafty myself Jodi has invited us over to both learn with her and Jaxon.  When I find out how to do it I will do a post and put some photos up.

Mia loved the flowers and spent alot of time planting them in the sand.  It went a little pear shaped when Jaxon wanted them back and lets just say we left with 3 of the 5 flowers.

Richard came home on Sunday afternoon which restored some normality to the house.  Mia was very excited to see him, I didn't get to take her to the airport as she was still asleep.  When I was waiting for the plane to land I was watching 3 young girls (approx ages 3, 6 and 8) with their grandfather.  Listening in on their conversation as I sometimes like to do they were waiting on Grandma to arrive on the same flight as Richard.  Their plan was for the girls to hide and then jump out to surprise grandma. 

When the passengers started to disembark I was keen to see grandma's reaction.  She got off before Richard so I got to see the whole thing.  When she saw grandpa her face fell and she looked shattered.  Seconds the later the girls jumped out from behind the seat and grandma started crying and wrapping them in her arms.  Obviously I don't know the whole story but it was very cool to see and may explain why I often cry at airports.

Tonight Mia was hilarious.  When I tuck her in to bed I always say snug as a bug in a rug and give her a kiss.  It usually makes her giggle as she says goodnight.  Tonight I was laying on the couch with her doona and "sharing" her teddies and she tucked me in and said "snug as rug in a hat"  I couldn't stop laughing, she also started laughing and kept repeating it obviously loving the reaction from me. 

She has also been complaining of a sore bottom over the past 24 hours.  There have been lots of speculation as to what it could be - don't you just wish they could tell you exactly what is wrong so that you can fix it? - any way it turns out she was constipated, she managed to go to the toilet, crying the whole time which was awful and then we gave her some coloxal drops (I swear by these).  She informed us shortly after that her bottom wasn't sore anymore.  Another crises averted.

All is quiet in the house now, Mia is in bed and we are watching a stupid show called Futurama, Richard loves it but I think it is a little silly.

11.20pm off to bed, dishwasher on, clothes in dryer, teeth brushed, clean clothes put away.  No wonder I am so tired.  Good night all.

I really missed my daughter today. 3 weeks ago meant that Thursday was the end of my work week and I then had 3 days at home. One day to go tomorrow and Mia is feeling it too. I had booked a hair appointment tonight, so the plan was to pick Mia up from day care meet my sister for dinner and then she would take Mia home whilst I had my hair done.

I had tried to arrange the appointment after Mia's bed time so it wouldn't effect her but I could only get a 6.30am appointment. It was awful, when I tried to leave she started crying and calling out for me. I was torn as to what to do. Some of you may think I am heartless but I did keep my appointment and my sister took her home. I couldn't relax which was hard. One of my favourite most relaxing things to do is getting my hair done. I couldn't stop thinking about Mia crying. Jodie confirmed fairly quickly that Mia was asleep but it didn't stop me from feeling guilty.

Not long after I got home I went into her room and laid down on her bed to give her a cuddle. A little selfish I know, she did wake slightly and give me a kiss and a big cuddle and then said "mummy go".

She also had a tough day at day care, all clothes were dirty by the time I picked her up. She has been so good with her toilet training only rare accidents but today she had 4. I assume this is a part of me returning to work, Rich being away etc. I hate the idea of going to work tomorrow and leaving her again. We aren't providing consistancy for her at the moment with not having full time day care and her illnesses over the past couple of weeks. She is being shipped between family members depending on who is available.

Tomorrow I will be taking her over to my mother in laws who she loves to see normally. It will be interesting to see her reaction when we go as my mother in law normally looks after Mia at our place. We haven't been to her place in nearly 4 months. I will take as many toys over as I can fit in the car and I am even tempted to take her bike given it is going to be such a beautiful day. Anything to make it easier.

I felt really lonely today and couldn't really pin point why. Now that I am writing this entry I wonder if it is because I am missing the time I normally spend with Mia. Food for thought!

I cannot wait for the weekend to come so I can spend some actual time with her not just getting her ready for the day and ready for bed at night. I have even told my parents that they cant have her for their normal weekend day. I have restricted them to a few hours. This will have to happen more and more now with me working so long.

I have spoken to work about the issue and I am going to adjust my hours in the office to spend a few more hours a week with Mia. They are purchasing me a laptop so I can work from home. The current home laptops are Macs and not compatible with whatever software the office uses to allow us to log in externally. Once that happens I can leave early on some days and pick up the extra hours when Mia is asleep. I think this will help my peace of mind and hopefully her.

It is 10.30pm and I am exhausted. It will be a hour round trip to take Mia to her grandmother's and I am waiting on the washing machine to finish so I have some clean clothes for her tomorrow. Once they are in the dryer I will be off to bed.

Good night.

Here I am the beginning of my first post which supposedly should include some details of feelings.  It is all so clinical when I think about it like that.  Over the day I have thought about what I would like to talk about and I have no idea how to begin.  My concern about straying from the facts is the impace it could have on others.

For example if I was to talk about the impact work is having on me at the moment and someone I know from work or god forbid a client reads this then it could effect me negatively or positively depending on what is happening at the moment.  Then there is the impact on family and friends if I start talking about how I feel about various issues in my life.

Now my husband says I don't have to post everything but where do you draw the line.  What is safe to blog about and what is not.  It is like I have to sensor my thoughts in a way.  Maybe it is safer not to talk about it at all.  What I do know is that I am great at rambling on, such as this post.

SO MOVING ON

I haven't seen Mia since yesterday morning when I dropped her off at mum's.  She has been given the all clear from the chicken pox but we still don't have full time day care so my mum has been looking after her on Tuesdays.  With Richard away they offered to have her over night and bring her home tonight. 

It gave me a lot of free time but to be honest it was a little quiet in my house last night.  I did what all girls do when they are home by themselves, I went for a walk with a friend and her two cute little dogs, hired a dvd, bought a pizza and chocolate and kicked back on the recliner checking out Minti every now and then. 

More work today - this full time stuff takes a little getting used to.  When I returned home I was counting down the mintues until Mia returned.  To fill in the time I went for another walk to return the dvd's and ended up with a really bad bloody blister for my troubles.  Teach me not to wear the right socks.

Not long after my return there was a knock on the door, something about seeing her face when I open the door is awesome.  First question out of her mouth was "Where's Daddy?"  I had to remind her that daddy was on holidays.  It was time for bed straight away, we cuddled up in her bed to read her favourite book - Where's the Green Sheep, it is so cute how every time we read this book she makes the same comments on the same pages and waits for me to repeat what she says before she turns the page.  It is these moments that I love being a mum.  The joy she gets from just having mummy read her a book is second to nothing else.

When I tried to tuck her in afte the story, she brought out the emotional black mail.  Lay down with me a little while mummy, I'm hungry etc.  It was hard to leave the room, I feel guilty about not spending much time with her since I increased my days at work.  I sat outside her room for a few mintues listening to her call out, feeling really sad but remembering it is better for her if I dont return.  Walking in that room would have been about making me feel better rather than anything to do with her.

It is almost time for me to go to bed, another big day at the office.  Must admit though I am loving the challenge of the new role and it is something I have needed to return to my life.  I love going to the office but equally love coming home.  I wonder if that is what they call a balance.

It has come to my attention that I have a difficulty identifying my feelings.  I have just spent a heap of time re reading all of my blog entries since I started this and realised that never once have a described how I feel about something.  All my writing is factual only.

The reason I started this blog was to keep Rich updated while he was going to be in the US, that was back in June, upon his return a comment was made, I think by Clay, that it would be a good idea to keep the blog going as something for Mia to look back on when she grows up.  I thought that was a brilliant idea.

I am now thinking, would she be interested in reading the facts of her life, will she see that as boring and not bother to finish reading it?  or would she prefer something that tells her how I and those around her were feeling and the impact her every day growth was having on the people around her.

How am I to instantly get in touch with how I feel.  Now traditionally I think this lack of feelings is the male role but somehow I have managed to take this on.  It has consumed alot of my thoughts lately especially this past week.  Did you know that I can look back on memories and describe them in great detail but cannot tell you the feelings attached to those details?  It concerns me as I don't want Mia to grow up having the same problems. 

Not being able to identify feelings is having a great impact on my life.  It is in my families best interest that I fix this as soon as I can.  I am working on it and as part of that I am going to try and use this blog as a place of expression as well as all the facts surrounding how Mia grows up.  I think step one should be to practise not only thinking of how I feel but expressing it.

Great news received today, Mia is all clear of the chicken pox.  We can remove the red cross from our front door and she can return to day care.  What a relief to return to our somewhat normal way of life.

Not that the all clear from the doctor will have any impact on Mia as she has taken this illness in her stride as she has with every other illness she has ever had.  She is an amazing child when is comes to being sick.  She rarely complains and it doesn't seem to have a huge impact on her sleeping / eating habits.  We are very lucky in that way.

I wonder if her pain or discomfort tolerance levels are unusually high.  Mind you she has been lucky in comparison to some children I am sure.  Ear infections, colds, sore legs (growing pains) and now the chicken pox have been the extent of her illness woes.

I am entering week 3 of full time work and my sister is looking after Mia for the day.  She is not allowed back at day care without a doctor's sign off and thankfully my sister works Tuesday to Saturday.

I had to sneak out of the house so as not to wake Mia this morning so wont get to see her until tonight.  They did call me a little while ago so Mia could say good morning.  It is so good that she can communicate verbally now.  It makes all the difference when you don't actually get to see them.

 

My little girl proudly told me upon my arrival to pick her up from mum and dad's that she had had a sickie in the night.  I did know this from mum and dad but it is a whole new view coming from Mia.

She vomited twice in the night, once at 9.30pm and again half an hour later.  The second "sickie" also included vomiting all over pa pa which she found very amusing.  Poor teddy had to have a bath as he copped some of it too.  She certainly didn't seem too concerned about it all.  Not sure what caused it, whether it was part of the chicken pox or something she ate during the day or something altogether different.  It is always a guessing game.

This week is going to be a little difficult with Richard away, me working full time and Mia not being allowed to go to day care.  My sister is going to come over tomorrow and look after her which she will love.  Mia loves her Jodie.  Not sure on their plans but Jodie has offered to cook me dinner tomorrow night.  It doesn't get any better than that.  She will also take Mia to the doctor to see if she is no longer contagious.  Am I a terrible parent letter the Aunty take my daughter to the doctor while I work?

It is quite unusual to have a day to myself.  Richard is away once again - this is becoming quite common and Mia is with my parents.  She stayed overnight at their place and I will be picking her up later this afternoon when I go over there for dinner.  The chicken pox is still around but she got a very mild dose.

With all this time it is a matter of deciding what to do.  My choices are:

Go for a walk
Go to the gym
Watch a movie, TV
Dance around to my favourite music tracks
Visit a friend
Do some more work around the house

I have just had lunch after spending the morning cleaning the house.  I ran into a problem of not being able to find the tea towels.  When Mia and I were on holidays Richard spent two weeks giving everything in the house it's own place.  The house wasn't that tidy even after we first moved in.  There have been a number of times I have needed a tea towel over the past 3 weeks but Richard has never been around to ask.  How hard can it be to find them in a 3 bedroom house.  I gave in after 1/2 an hour and had to make a call.

I think I have just decided.  Crank up some tunes on my ipod and go for a walk.  Perfect way to clear the head and appreciate Perth.

I feel like we should paint a red cross on our door

Yes unfortunately Mia has been diagnosed with chicken pox today.  There have been a number of children at day care with chicken pox but Mia is the first in the 2-3 room and lets not forget our friend's husband in Queensland who also came down with it. 

She isn't ill although she has had a flu/cold over the past week which can be the lead in symptoms to the pox.  There are spots on her tummy, back and private parts.  Nothing on her arms or legs at this stage.  I am worried that it will all get worse and not sure of the effect it will have on her.  It will be hard to see her in pain or being uncomfortable for a long period of time.  The doctor says that it looks like a mild dose so here's hoping.

We have notified day care who have told us that she cannot return for 2 weeks and even then she will need a doctors letter to say it is ok for her to return.  We have also notified all those people we have been in contact with lately and those that we had plans to see in the next week.

Interestingly we have friends that are keen to bring their children over in the hopes that they will also contract the chicken pox.  They say they would much rather the kids have it now then when they get older.  I guess this is a good point given contracting it in adult hood means for some men steriliasation and even possibly death.

Richard is unsure whether he has had it or not and went off to get a vaccination injection which wont protect him fully but will lesson the effects of the symptoms if he does.  Saying that he is departing for a trip to Sydney / Melbourne on Saturday to speak at some conferences and catch up with friends so hopefully he wont have any problems.

As for me I am thinking maybe someone is telling me that returning to full time work is not a good idea.  First week she had the flue the second week she gets chicken pox.  What do you think?

Happy Father's Day to all those dad's out there especially my husband and my dad. 

Rich had already decided what he wanted for father's day but I felt I needed to buy him a little gift for him to open on the morning of father's day.  I decided to purchase a pair of croc shoes as whenever Mia and I are wearing ours she will ask where daddys are.  I had purchased them onThursday night and had left them in the car until Mia and I came home from an outing on Saturday.

I sent Mia in ahead to tell Daddy to hide so we could bring his present in without him seeing.  She succesfully managed to get him distracted and then came outside to bring the bag with the shoes in.  She hid them in our room and then went to find daddy.  She ran into her room where he was hiding and said "daddy come and look at your new shoes" - well there went the surprise.  It took us a while to distract her enough to forget about the shoes until Sunday  but I have still been laughing about it today.  Kids are so innocent.

We had a great lunch at a new brewery called MASH in the Swan Valley.  We caught up with my parents and my sister.  The food was great and the one beer I tried was also really good.  The music a little loud for conversation especially amongst our family - my mum has no hearing in one of her ears.  Thankfully there was also a playground across the road so when Mia had been pushed passed her limit 2 hours after our arrival she took her dad across to play.

Word of advice if you do manage to eat this brewery I recommend their dessert pizza it was awesome.

A good friend of ours is about to have another baby on Monday (their 3rd) and today was our last opportunity to catch up with the family of 4 before they become a family of 5.  Mia is always very happy to visit them, their son who is 4 and Mia are inseperable when they get together.  There is no greater feeling than watching your child play with another happily.

My friend is well and truly over the pregnancy and cannot wait for it to be all over.  The new baby will be a girl who is expected to be a little larger in size than the previous 2.  I think anyone prepared to have 3 children is extremely brave but if anyone can do it my friend can.  She doesn't give herself enough credit most of the time but should take stock of what she has and realise what a good mum she is to those 2 kids.

I want to take this opportunity to wish her all the luck in the world for Monday.