god i hate my life so much it is not easy to raise 2 boys on ur own 1 havin autism and lookin after ur sick mum and ur ***** of a sister who can help around with things like cleaning but just outrite refuses 2. she is always usin the excuse that she is a teenager. but wat she seems to not get is i was once 1 she thinks out of the family she is the only 1 that has ever been a bloody teenager. man she gives me the mega shits. and not just some of the time but all of the time.

God I hate my life.... I have just had yet another guy tell me dat I am fat and ugly. I know dat I am but its not for other ppl 2 tell me. I am feeling so down dat even though wit everything dat is happenin wit my mum and I need 2 cry I am goin bk on my meds again as I cant take no more. I wish dat I was dead bc den I wouldnt have 2 hear ppl calling me things like dat. :( I am off now even though dont want to go to town I have 2.

BYE ALL AND TA FOR EVERYTHING U HAVE DONE FOR ME but I just cant take anymore of it.... :(:(:(:(

This is a picture of Kyle at his first sports day at school. The order of the kids from left to right are.... Kyles friend Jamie, Kyle, Kyles friend Ben and his other friend Mark..

Here is a pic of kyle @ school as his 1st school pics I can really see a diffrence.

Man this world dont make any sense. Why is it that u set ur kids up in this world to fight and servive to then just go ahead and get real sick and want to give up and die??????? It so very much sux.. My mum use to b on of the strongest ppl I know. She wouldnt stand for any shit or crap from anyone. But now she is so sick and all she wants to do is be out of it all and die. It is so bloody hard to just sit there and watch ur mum fade away to NOTHING and u r helpless to stop it.

I am not a good person today my mum had to be rushed to hospital from being delerias (cant spell it ). Wen she got there I found out that she needed a blood transfusion. I am so so so so so so so so scared that I am goin to loose her she doesnt even know who we are. She thought other rooms were her room and the bathroom she was tryin to drink from an ashtray. It was so sacrey I NEVER want to go through anything like that again. My sister who is 13 and is suicidal @ the moment freaked out and now im worried that she will do somethin to herself. Mum is in intensive care. I dont think that I can handel ANY of this NOMORE. Its just to darn hard to sit bk and watch my mum disapere the way that she is. I am SO sry to be annoyin u all just didnt know wat else to do..

Can my life get any worse???? My mum is very sick she is dying. Which I cant handle but would NEVER tell her as I am her carer. My sister is not the most easyiest to live with. But she is scared of loosing our mum.Which I can understand.
My boys well Lincoln understands wats goin on (well as much as a 8 yr old can ) Kyle well he cant start his day without seein his nanny 1st. So I dont know where thats goin to leave him we mum goes.
I try and I try but I cant seem 2 do things right at all. I am a stuff up at EVERYTHING.
Shorly my life could get no worse I cant go anywhere wit firends eg coffee bc I cant be away from my mum for long.
Everytime I am trying to relax she calls me and I dont mind that.
Last night I was real upset and mum asked me wat was wrong I didnt really want to tell her but she made me and it was that my sister.
She is 13 she is able to do things round the house but she wont.
She seems to think that oh well Kylie will do it all for me.
It REALLY hurts and I told mum that she said to me that she knows that it is really hurting me.
Anyway I shouldnt be such a sook as my nanna use to say to me "no matter wat ur goin through there is always someone out there goin through worse" So I will leave it at that .
Thanks .
Kylie.
 

I am finally bk from the holiday it wasnt as good as I thought it was goin to be but oh well @ least we went.

How is all going? Me just glade 2b home.

The weather was bad in geelong and we came home to it to.

The kids were real excited as they got to see some snow just out of ballarat. But falling was all they got 2 see from it as it didnt even settle on da road.

Anyway I got 2 go now fix kids up but will chat soon.

cheers 2 all.

kylie

MAN I ave had da worst 2 weeks ever. I had 2 go to court wit my sister and it was so so so so scary. It was on da man dat abused me as a kid. But he was found guilty of brakin an order which we are happy about. Me and my sister were so worried dat he would get off and think he could do wat he pleased.

Kids are driving me mad. I HATE school holidays as Kyle doesnt get y he cant go to school. I have moved house so I am offically living wit my mum now. After I had an argument wit the Ooh department for treatin me and my stuff like rot.

But anyway we r all goin away today to Geelong to see my brother for his b/day. It has been abot 11 yrs since we ave been wit him for it so it will be fun. And MAN I can not wait to see him and my cute neices and my sister inlaw. I havnt been to geelong to stay ova nite since I was abot 16 yrs old and @ the moment dat feels like abot 100 yrs ago (LOL).

Anyway our taxi will be here soon as its almost 7am. I will chat to u all wen I get bk.

cheers to all

kylie

Hi all how are we???? me well im not that good at the moment as i found out yesterday that a VERY VERY good friend of mine has died. she died on monday night. She is/was like family to me thats how much of a friend she is/was. i just can not believe that it has happened. she has 4 girls that she has left behind. only 2 of them were living with her the oldest of the 2 is only 5 turning 6 and the youngest 4 turning 5. i am unsure how they are b/c my friend got rushed to melbourne so they were taken to melbourne to be with her but she never even made it there.

kylie....