Well, it's over with now.  All the hours of planning, the work and time making and baking and now I can breathe a sigh of relief.  I think R enjoyed himself and it was lovely to be able to have it in our new house and show our friends around.  The loveliest thing was watching the kids playing in the garden - playing football and finding little hidey holes to make cubbies in.  Now I just have to gear myself up for moving!!  I'm getting very excited - but then I look at the mess again and think "how are we ever going to do this??"  We'll see.  Must go to bed as been a big day and B was up all night again.

Sleep has improved muchly but still getting to bed too late (witness the time!) and hence getting up late.  R's b'day started half an hour ago and plans for his party are full swing.  Rain has started again and huge puddles everywhere again!  At least we are not flooded like parts of the UK at the moment!  Must to bed and get my beauty sleep (need lots of it!)

We had a lovely weekend, spending time with family, pottering around the house and enjoying the sunshine we have been missing!  Every time I think of packing I see something else around the house that needs doing, so who knows how we are going to get it all done....

Three weeks of rain have finally stopped and we have been enjoying drying out a bit.  The lawn is very wet - i think the dew just does not dry out in the cold weather - but the puddles everywhere are subsiding.  The driveway looks more like a driveway than a mushy muddy slide and the clothes that have been on the line for weeks are almost dry.  We have been having heavy frosts every day and on Friday we were hailed on while walking around the local nursery.  It is so nice to have some sun and get outside - I love pottering around the garden - it keeps me sane.

R has become a real book lover. He used to love playing outside all the time but lately I have to coax him out and he would rather sit inside and read books, or do activity books or play with Duplo.  Interesting.  He is quite happy to sit and do things on his own for ages and the gets very frustrated when his sister comes along to see what he is doing.  He also asks me all the time "what does that say" and "what  do these numbers make?"  He can read single digit numbers and add them and is starting on double digit numbers but is still not really recognising letters - though he gets you to read everything - signs, labels, video covers etc....

The kids have been so lovely during the days - we have been having some lovely fun.  During the day we are all happy and it seems like the nights are a passing dream.  However it is taking me hours to get them both to sleep and R is still waking at night with bad dreams.  If B goes to sleep in her bed she most likely sleeps through but a few nights I have given up and she has come to bed with me and driven me demented by waking regularly.

It will be interesting to see what happens when we move.

However the excitement and talk of the moment is R's birthday on Wednesday and its party on Saturday. He is very exact about what he wants (not presents necessarily but all the paraphernalia for the party - cake, balloons, special table, party plates, party cutlery, games etc...) and is counting down the days and the sleeps.

Here is my little plumber in her favourite spot (she loves climbing into and emptying cupboards and boxes):



And if you ever wondered why they name cyclones after girls - here is evidence of cyclone Isobella - while mummy was unpacking the shopping she got busy in the lounge room:



and, last but by no means least, my little people together - for a brief moment!:

OK So I feel like a complete failure....

I refuse to do controlled crying - everything I read says it's harmful to a baby's psyche and their trust.  So I do the No cry thing.  Beautiful - taken us a while to work up to a position where I feel I can put B to sleep in her cot.  Feeling strong, I do it.  At first, brilliant.  She goes to sleep after minimal fuss.  Then she wakes shortly afterwards.  I keep going.  The next night is better and she sleeps through.  The next night she takes a while to go to sleep but then she sleeps all night.

So we come to last night....  R refuses to sleep in his room as he is scared of the window & the ghosts outside (another issue!).  So, as Dad is away I let him in my bed.  They keep each other awake until she is beside herself.  Lots of angst, crying (not just her I might add) and frustration later they finally both fall asleep in my room at 11.00pm.  They sleep all night  (though R keeps reaching out for me - obviously having bad dreams still).  We are still tired when the phone wakes us this morning.

So they are tired and grumpy.  B has 2 sleeps - one in the car and one on my bed as she is so tired I just put her down and she is almost asleep.  Then comes this evening.  Routine works beautifully.  i explain to R if he can go to his room while I get her to sleep so they don't keep each otehr awake.  Then she cries on and off for hours. I pat her, I stroke her.  She goes to sleep.  The minute I move away she is sitting up crying again.  I let her cry a bit and then try again.  this happens multiple times.  Meantime R is wanting mummy and wanting stories.  Between them I am so frazzled I am ready to scream, cry ,whatever. 

Finally after 2 hours I cave in and feed her to sleep in my bed.  By now it is hours past bed time and R is still awake and wanting more stories.  I am at a loss to know what to do.  Why can I not have a child that sleeps??  Why is it so hard?  I agonise over it, wondering what I am doing wrong, why me?  How do I help her sleep without me so we can all get sleep?  how can I do it without losing her trust?  Is crying so bad?  (my gut says yes but I am at the point of crying myself so something must give)  Why is R so afraid of sleeping & of ghosts??

I am at the point where I know I need a break but I can't see one in sight.  I need some time to rest and some time to myself and it never happens.  I am so jealous of DH who gets to go away and spend time mixing with other adults.  Yet, I love my kids to bits and I love being with them.  I want to be with them and be around while they are growing up.  I just need something left of ME and at the moment I am wondering what that is.  I can't explain this to DH - his answer is to go back to work, which I don't want to do.  What is the answer, then?  Any brilliant ideas anyone as I am all out!

Hubby is away in the Mountains for a couple of days, so I took the kids to playgroup this morning and then went to the vege stall and the post office on the way home.  Got home with various bags and boxes and two children.  I was taking them inside and B was in the door in my way, so I stepped around her and walked inside to put a box down and grab her.  Put the box down and heard a scream!

In that short space of time she had gone outside, walked/run the 4m to the stairs and tried to go down them on her own (we have very steep cement stairs at the front of the house).  Obviously she did not make it, but fell off the side, and, fortunately was 'caught' by the bush beside the stairs.  I came out and she was lying on her back in the bush - inches away from the concrete, screaming her head off.

Amazingly she was unhurt except for a cut to her finger.  Thank God!!

I have been waiting for that ever since she started moving, but so far have prevented it - today I just was not quick enough!  I am so thankful that neither of these two has been seriously hurt on those stairs as it is a nasty enough fall to do some serious damage.  I could not help too thinking that in our new house that couldn't happen as it is all flat - great!  Can't wait - one less stress in my life!

We went to a party today and R has an ever increasing list of things he wants to do for his Birthday (ten days away).  He had already told me he wanted a party and then what 'theme' he wants (George of the Jungle meets the Incredible Hulk).  After today he has decided he wants a dinosaur cake, decorations, balloons, loot bags and presents. 

I just couldn't help but think - why can't we just have a few friends over and have some food and games??

I'm over all these themes and dress ups and fancy decorations and amazing cakes.  All the parents seem to try to outdo each other.   You could see them today handing out invitations to the next party - all the same kids going to teh same parties, so you have to do something different.

When I was a kid you didn;t have a party every year - when you did, it was just simple and fun and the ultimate party was a McDonalds party.  Now you have to hire a hall or a jumping castle, face painter, clown etc.... 

I'm hoping we can keep his simple and fun for everyone - including me!!

That said I sent out the invitations a week ago with the address of the new house and then got a  letter saying settlement has been delayed - until after the party!  AAAAGHHHHHH!  What to do?  Besides the party I am getting so impatient to just get organised and move stuff.

On a lighter note, B has been sleeping better - the last two nights she has slept in her bed all night and gone to sleep without feeding - even thought tonight has been a disaster I feel a lot more positive and like we can start looking ahead!  To make up for it though big brother has been having bad dreams and sneaking in to our bed through the night.  Oh well!  Life could never be too easy or we would have nothing to keep us going and striving!

so so tired and forgot it was friday.  here are some ones i took this week.  my little viking:



and her brother, mixing up some potent brew - maybe something to help mummy sleep??

Wasn't that a band back in the 80s?? Anyway......

It didn't last - after 40 mins B woke up and would not resettle until she was in Mum's bed - then she was very restless all night so I am very tired (again!).  What I wouldn't give for a quiet evening and a good night's sleep!

Anyway - it has rained here all day, quite hard.  i hope it doesn't flood everywhere like last weekend - that was very scary by all accounts.  i hope too that we don't lose power like last weekend as we lose water too and 2 kids in a small house in the rain with no DVDs - AAGH!

Still, I can't complain - at least the tanks are filling - I just wish we had more tanks!!

DH is in the snow - and for the first time in three years is having to use his snow chains (he goes about once a month) and he said he has been trudging through snow all day!  Well at least that is interesting - I have been shopping in the rain all day and came home wet through
Time for a quick cuppa before dinner.....

Just astonished and have to share:

I read  a sheet on signs of an overtired baby/toddler and B exhibits most of them - particularly in the afternoon, so, after  a few sleepless nights I bit the bullet today and thought I'd try it.

Bella had her day sleep today in her cot.  It took 15mins of crying with me patting her and reassuring her - a far cry from her brother who could keep it up for hours - literally.  She slept for her 40min and cried out but then rolled over and slept another 40mins.  Then she went to bed on time this evening - and it only took one minute to settle her.  Keep you posted on how she sleeps now!

Can't believe it was so easy - must be beginners luck!

Chatting (online) to a friend whose just had their first baby made me think about all the feelings you have as a new parent - doubt, uncertainty, fear...  and i realised that I have come a long way in the last four years.  I still feel that uncertainty sometimes - am I doing the right thing?  what will be best for my kids?  will they hate me years from now? But I am more confident - i know what feels right and I go with it, I ask more questions of care givers and advice givers and I can take criticism without feeling I'm the worst mum in the world (most of the time).  So I just wanted to give a heads up to all mums - especially first time mums and say "Well done - hang in there and do the best you can" - that's all anyone can ask of you.

OK So it's not quite ours yet, but here are some photos for those who've asked. We went today to do some general tidying (it's been empty for a while) - trimming plants, emptying gutters etc... so I took some photos before we started. Here goes:



This is the front - a trifle overgrown, but you get the feel of it - we hope to open that up a bit. Here is the back of the house:



and a small shot of the inside (from the hallway leading to our bedroom & looking into the lounge:



and my favourite part (I shouldn't say that - there are many aspects I love) - the kitchen, which if you knew how small our kitchens have always been - is just lovely jubbly!



It is a great large block, with lots of sun and it even has a real clothes line - funny how it's the small things that make the biggest difference. So, hope you enjoyed your virtual tour and you can understand why we are so excited!

Well to be fair I need to post a pic of my gorgeous boy, so here he is being his alter ego (Scruffy the dog) and picking up his toys with his teeth (also witness my Dad's cast in the background - bright green!):

Well I can't believe it's been a week since I posted.   We are all OK.  I have recovered from my bug but still have a nasty cold that is not going anywhere.  R was up all night with fevers and the attached hysteria.  He tells me he is now fine but we've kept him home from preschool anyway.  He was itchy and hurting all over so we were worried about chicken pox - but no spots (yet!)

Winter has hit suddenly and we have pulled out the winter coats, hats, scarves and gloves.  The fire has been going every day and even then yesterday I still could not get warm.  Must look at some other form of heating for the new house.

Last week we exchanged on the new house, so it is all up to the lawyers now.  We've been thinking about all the things we are going to do to the house - restricted of course by the fact that we have no money!  My spare 'little house jobs' money went on the car this week as extensive repairs were needed to pass rego.  So, does anyone know how we can put in-floor heating in, put down new floor boards and a number of other little jobs for a VERY small budget??