I've been exploring FB and getting reacquainted with some of my old school chums.  Pain is not quite as bad when dealing with my father's death.  My mother is now seeking the help of support groups.  THANK GOD! She is trying to get back involved in church and in the community. Thank you to everyone who had encouraging words for me during my time of sadness.  I must say, things are looking up.  If only now, my son would quite being such a pest, with his NO and screaming.  O well, guess we always have to have some kind of challenge

K

Well, we made it through a month after the passing of my dad.  Things are a little better.  Weekends seem to be the worse for some reason.  I guess because I'm working during the week and don't have time to think about much else. Madeline has a cheer competition this weekend, so we are looking forward to that.  She is excited too.

I did find out that my sister has found a lump in her breast.  She has fibrocystic tissue and has had this problem before but not to this extent.  we are hoping it is just fibrous tissue and not anything else.  I don't know if my family could handle another person with cancer this soon.  Her husband is taking it harder than she is.

It's Sunday and I woke up in a great mood until my mom called.  She was crying her eyes out.  She said she hadn't slept all night and felt awful.  I tried to be encouraging but it is hard for me too.  I don't want to spend the day crying thinking about what could have been and did my dad go through unnecessary procedures.  I just can't hindsight everything.  It makes me too sad and almost angry about some things.  My dad had 2 surgeries the week he passed and none of them fixed the problem they were trying to correct.  My dad had nonhodgkins lymphoma, a very aggressive cancer, which caused a heart attack in April of 07.  He had multiple rounds of chemo and numerous surgeries, many of which had nothing to do with the cancer, but with other complications, such as a completely nonfunctional gall bladder. We felt like the more we did to try to make him better, the worse he would get.  I know he is at peace now, but I miss him.  Tuesday will be exactly one month and that will be a tough day. 

I have encouraged my mom to attend a grief counselor and I hope it works for her.  Maybe I need to go to.

K

I've been gone a while.  My dad has been very ill and passed away on Oct. 18.  One month is quickly approaching and I still haven't quite accepted his death.  I also haven't really had time to mourn.  I have been trying to keep my mother from losing it and to maintain somewhat of a normal life at home. It's been a tough month.  The holidays are not going to be pleasant I'm afraid.  As much as we want them to be, I think my mother's sadness will be hard to ignore.  They were married for 41 years.  My mother has never really had to be alone.  I really feel for her.

I miss my dad.