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Aug

Dilemma

Comment Published at 04:2004:2013 comments13 comments53 Visits53 VisitsReport

I'm in the middle of a dilemma and would appreciate insights and advice from my Minti friends.

My husband, his best friend and I have organised a nearly 3 week trip to the UK at the beginning of next year. We planned to go so that we were over there at the time of my husband and my first anniversary and at the time of my birthday (they are both 2 days apart) and we managed to buy plane tickets at an awesome price - with the condition that they are non-refundable, no name changes, no date changes.

Anyway, I have just discovered this week that my university are making dramatic changes to the way the study terms are next year, with the result that the first term is starting a month earlier than in previous years. So when we were planning to be away - which previously was just before uni began - is now in weeks 3-5 of term. That's usually a very busy time in the uni calendar. I fear that if I'm not there I will be pushed quite far behind, and possibly even fail the unit. If I fail the unit, I will be a year behind which puts me further away from achieving my goal of being an architect and working in a career that I love.

Until the beginning of next year, I won't know who the lecturers are. So I can't discuss it with them to find out if I can organise something to accommodate the trip until about 3-5 weeks before we are scheduled to fly out.

My husband is not coping with this very well. He's very concerned about losing the money we've already paid for our plane tickets. He has suggested no one going, which is not appealing, and he's suggested just he and his friend go - which I wouldn't mind, except for the fact he'd be away for our 1st anniversary and my birthday. The idea of not being with him for those events feels devastating to me. And if I had my way, I would really like to go too! The reason we chose to go to the UK rather than anywhere else is because that's where I wanted to go to see a special friend of mine as well as visit some places that are on my life goal list.

I'm at a loss as to what to do and would so appreciate others prayers, insights and advice to help me work out what to do. Thanks heaps!!

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Comments

nell18-3
September 2nd | nell18-3
Re: Dilemma

I'm going to be quiet on this as I have a vested interest in the outcome

Do what makes you happy long term but I love all the suggestions that everyone is giving you Hun

xxx



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      lightbee
September 9th | lightbee
Re: Dilemma

Thanks sweet.  I totally understand - you and my hubby are the main reasons I want to go!!  But be assured, even if I don't make it this time, we will definitely come further down the track.

But fingers crossed my meeting with the head of school on the 24th will be fruitful.

xooooxoxoxox



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Arna
August 28th | Arna
Re: Dilemma

Go and talk to the careers advisor at the uni.  It might be that they can arrange for you to do the study externally, or they can have your modules readjusted so you can do the ones that don't require you to be onsite while away and do the ones that require you to be onsite when you get back. 

There is always a way around obstacles, it just takes some creative thinking and problem solving with someone within the university.  It could even be that they get someone to take a video of each site for you that you can use while you are away.



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      lightbee
September 9th | lightbee
Re: Dilemma

I'm definitely keeping my fingers crossed that there is some sort of creative solution to all this!  I hope when I meet the head of school on the 24th she'll be very accommodating and help me lots!



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KathrynR1402
August 27th | KathrynR1402
Re: Dilemma

What a bummer! I think I am just about with Annie on this one, though it's a tough one. My guess would be that you will not be the only one caught out like this (probably a lecturer or two as well) and that the University will find they need to be more accommodating than usual as it is their fault not yours. Is there anyone you can talk to who can give you a rough idea of what allowances they can make/take into account at this stage? Somebody further up the Uni ought to be able to make some "if... then... " kind of reassurances at this stage. Hope so!



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      lightbee
September 9th | lightbee
Re: Dilemma

I definitely think you're right that I won't be the only one caught out.  So I"m hoping for that reason they might be lenient and helpful in making accommodations for me.  I meet with the head of the school on the 24th, so if you could send a few prayers my way, that would be great!



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           KathrynR1402
September 9th | KathrynR1402
Re: Dilemma

OK! Hope the meeting goes well!



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anniebabe
August 27th | anniebabe
Re: Dilemma

if i was in that postion i would go!!! a couple of reasons for which i will give

1.  In the long run whats one year? besides i thought uni is split up in two semesters, which means you only lose 6 months (i dont know about architecture but commerce engineering all that is semesters 6 months)

2. If i was in your position and i didnt go i would always regret it down the track. i would feellike i missed out

3. again if i was in your position i would go. first anniversary birthday going to visit a special friend.

4. Last but not least , i would want to accomplish my life goal list since i came so close to doing it!

the decisio of course is yours but you know if you get your degree earlier by not going on this trip then you will be so busy working that who knows when the opportunity arises .

besides i personnally would go for my hubby , because even if he wont say anything, deep down its like taking candy from a baby. well i know i would be upset if  my partner wanted to cancel a trip after we had planned unless it was a life threatening situation of course

good luck with whatever you decide

love annie xxx



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      lightbee
September 9th | lightbee
Re: Dilemma

Hi Annie!

It's so complicated!  You're quite right about uni being in semesters, but the way the course is organised, all the units have to be done consecutively - so if I miss out on semester 1, then I can't do semester 2.  Sad but true.

Its interesting, but since I posted this, I've realised that my highest priority is doing my study and getting into the career I want as soon as I can.  For my hubby, however, the trip is his highest priority.  So we have a bit of conflict.  But I would still love to go (I don't consider it a trip of a lifetime, cause if we don't do it now, we'll definitely do it later - its just delaying things).

I'm meeting with the head of the school in a couple of weeks and I'm hoping I can negotiate a program that will allow me to do both.  Fingers crossed!!

xoxoxox



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emmie
August 27th | emmie
Re: Dilemma

aww what a devsion to make its a hard one but only you can decidw xxx



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      lightbee
September 9th | lightbee
Re: Dilemma

:(  I know... Its so hard to choose...



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Marglr
August 27th | Marglr
Re: Dilemma

Humm split in two and reglue when convenient!!!   Geeees, there is no easy answer!  You can always catch up but the sacrifice might be a year lost. To not go would mean feeling very down and sorry for yourself if you decide to support your schooling and future dreams.  I would go and be prepared to work like mad to make up the two weeks, once you know who your teacher is you can get their support in the lessons and take stuff with you to do and study.  You can do this!!!!!



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      lightbee
August 27th | lightbee
Re: Dilemma

I hadn't considered splitting myself in two and regluing!  That might just solve the problem!  LOL!!  I'm not sure if it would be possible to take the 3 weeks off uni - the courses I'm doing you can't really do the work unless you're in the city to visit the site etc (that's what I get for doing architecture!) - but maybe I could start earlier.  Won't know until I have a lecturer for next year.  Want my cake and eat it too!!



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