Well today was a turn of events!  My SIL C took BOTH of my babies!  Origianlly it was going to be just Kathy, but she was all mad cause daddy kept chaning what was going to happen with her.  He wanted to take her out, but something came up at the bakery, so my SIL said she would pick her up then.  Well Kathy did not want to go without her brother, so my SIL took both.  I don't know what to do!  I've not been without my babies since before I had my son almost a year ago!  It's so wierd and quiet as I will have at least one of them, and hubby is still working.  hmmm, what to do?   I hope I can handle tonight when I try to sleep and they are not here, that has always been the hardest for me.  The day stuff is easy, it's when I miss the bedtime stuff that I get all misty eye and upset.  It's so unreal, it's like they are only taking a nap, but they are not here.  Though they'll be back tomorrow, which I'm glad.

Ok, as I just blogged I had a couple of dreams about my SIL.  I have had some in the past, but nothing like these, and the feeling not the same.  I wanted to tell her in hopes of it helping us to become closer.  But I'm not sure I should do so, especially after my hubby has confirmed the real reason she has issues with me....So I want to know what you all think.  As most of you know I've been trying to do what I can to make our relationship better so that our girls can feel the same both at her house and mine, and be able to play together.  It's going good, as my neice came over the other day and on Sunday told me that she wanted to come over again to spend the night.  Though her mom said no cause my niece does not like staying at home with her mom anymore at night, she always wants to go out and spend the night at someones house.  And either she or my BIL does not like that, so they limit how often she can go over to our houses to play or spend the night.  Anyway, other then her seeming to be in a bad mood Sunday night, and not wanting to say goodbye (my other SIL said that her brother was upset on the phone, so they probably had a fight and that was why she just wanted to get out without saying anything) she has been alot warmer towards me, even coming to me to say hello on Sunday instead of me going to her.  I did send her a text this morning telling her I was thinking of her and babies and hoped all was well.  But I feel like I should tell her that I had the dreams, cause they were really nice and I feel like I should, especially the one where she was upset and told me.  I always tell my other SILs when I have a dream about them.  What should I do?  I dont want to push her and I have been taking it really slow with all this.  Should I tell her, text her via phone to let her know I had a dream about her? Or even tell her that I had a feeling something was bothering her and if she wanted to talk I'm here.  Or should I just not say anything at all?  I'm confused and I really want to do the best thing for us...Know what I mean?  I don't want to push her, but I don't want her to think that I don't care for her and I don't think of her like I do my other SILs, because I care alot about her and I would really like to be able to talk to her like I do my other SILs....What should I do?

Well it's been one crazy week that's for sure.  Not much really happened during the week it's self, just busy with cleaning and all that good stuff.  On Sunday we had a Granduation Party for my eldest neice who graduated high school.  It was really nice and the whole family was there.  I got to see my cousin and his wife and baby (his wife used to be a bit mean to me and said things behind my back, but she seems to have changed alot!  That's a whole other blog in itsself)  Anywho, it was really nice and I had a great time.  Kathy played with all her cousins and had alot of fun, she passed out on the way home.  Mikey has been battling teething and thus not wanting to eat a whole lot, just wanting to drink water.  But he is doing better now and back to eating more. 

Yesterday I got my hair cut from a lady from church.  We talked and it was nice.  She's more hyper then I'm used to, but it was still nice. 

Well, now I have to dish the gossip....First my hubby told me something so sweet, in his covert, round about way.  We were talking about what I could do at the bakery to help him out and work there.  And get paid.  But then about 2 seconds he said, no cause then you won't be able to do all that you do here and keep up.  I thought it was so sweet cause he was telling me in his way that he really appreciates all that I do at the house and with the babies.  It was really nice for him to tell me that, as he does not always know how to tell me those kind of things. 

#2 is I had 2 dreams last night about my SIL.  Hubby and I were talking about his brother, and I think it triggered something in my head.  We last night I had a dream about my BIL wife (whom I am trying to work to have a better relationship with).  We were meeting somewhere and I went up to see her and say hi.  I gave her a big hug and asked how she was.  She said ok and I looked at her and she was crying.  I told her if you want to talk, I'm here.  She just smiled and said thank you.  I then looked as my neice and said hi and noticed that she had on very old clothes.  Like ones that are from like 80, hand me downs.  I could tell in my dream that my SIL was very upset and something was wrong.  I woke up to it and thought about that and what my hubby had told me.  So I know the dream was playing into that.  Then I had another dream after falling back to sleep where we were somewhere and I went to say hi to her.  I then just walked up and said "why don't you ever say hi to me?"  And I went off telling her how I felt and all that.  I was telling her how I pictured us taking the babies out together, sitting on the front porch talking, and everything that I had been feeling.  She was giving me a big hug and listening and after I told her all that we were really close and sitting next to each other talking with my other SILs and just smiling.  It was a really nice dream.  Oh how I wish it would be reality.  It really is something I can one day say to her, and infront of everyone, so that she is forced to talk to me.  But the whole point is that after I told her everything we got really close and it was like the relationship I have with all my other SILs.

Anyway, I do hope that we can get better at our relationship, and I would really like to tell her about the dreams, just like I do when I have a dream about my other SILs. 

Also, today is my MIL b-day and we are all going to go out with my MIL to celebrate. 

So that's the update!

Oh and I did get my period, so #3 is not coming just yet.  But I told hubby, next month when we go to my grandma's to visit, hmmmm...lol

Ok so most of you know my daughter can be quite the loud screamer.  Especially when she wants her way, but what toddler isnt'?  So today I had my neice over to play and they were getting along just fine.  Then Kathy started to get mean, pushing and taking her toys away from her cousin.  So I told Kathy that I was going to call her aunt to come get her cousin, because she would not stop pushing and hitting her.  It was just time for a break I think, and she was getting very tired.  Well she started to cry and scream, again!!!  I tried to talk to her, to get her to calm down, nothing.  I told her that I would then not talk to her until she calmed down.  Well, she was standing on my bed (I had carried her into there to talk to her) and I picked her up to take her out.  I shut the door and told her no more going into my room.  She could go play with her cousin until her aunt came or she could sit in time out until she calmed down.  While I was getting my neice ready, Kathy was fighting with me to keep me from putting on my neices shoes, she was trying to go into my room, so I had to put up a gate.  And she all the while was screaming as loud as she could.  Well we went down stairs to get my nieces car seat and to wait for her mom.  Well this crazy old lady comes walking up to the garage gate trying to talk to the babies.  My daughter was still screaming cause she did not want her cousin to leave.  The lady asked my why she was screaming, and tried to get her to come over to her.  I told her cause her cousin was leaving.  She said that she did not believe me as my girl was screaming to much.  The lady then said that I had to be abusing her cause she was screaming and carrying on so much.  My neice said that I was not hurting her.  This lady was trying to get the girls to come over, and I told her that they don't know you, I don't want them near you.  This lady was carrying on about how she was going to call the police or child protective services, saying I was abusing them.  She said that she hears the crying to much, blah blah blah.  I had turned my back and was telling the girls to come to the other side of the car while we wait for my SIL.  The lady was going on and on about me needing to get my act together and the next time she hears any screaming or crying she is going to call 911.  UGH, some people!!!  I was so mad and so upset that she could dare accuse me of such things!!  Yes, I've spanked my girl, and yes I've yelled at her, but only cause she was being very naughty and that time, the spanking worked.  I don't even spank now.  And really how many of us have raised our voices at our kids for being naughty, especially when they are screaming so loud, you want them to hear you.  I never yell unless she is screaming and she does not hear me.  I do talk stern and change my tone, and will raise my voice, but never loud, nor screaming....Anyway, I call my hubby to come home right away as this lady did not seem to go away.  I told him about what happened, and he was like, let her call the police.  They are going to be like shes crazy. 

Of course now I'm like great, I have this lady who is going to be nosey and look into everything that goes on.  It's the last thing I need.  I never thought in my wildest dreams that someone would ever accuse me of abusing my babies! 

I know you guys don't know me in person, but I know you all can get a great sense by talking to me....Do I sound like I abuse my babies?  This is just not something that I would ever wish on my worst enemy....NEVER!!!  And to make things worse, my niece was there to hear it all....GRRRR.

So now what do I do?  I'm not going to change what I do because I don't even punish her in any physical way, and I don't yell, unless it's like I said, cause she can't hear me.  Which I often do when I'm down by the car and she is upstairs in the house....I just don't know what to do with this lady.  Though maybe next time I will call the police and say she is harrassing me.  And now my daughter is upset also cause hubby told her that if Kathy keeps on screaming and crying like that the lady will try to take her and have the cops take mommy....Which I don't agree on telling her, but she wanted to know why the lady was there.  I told Kathy that it's ok to get angry and upset, but it's not ok to scream like, just like it's not ok to hit or push....Any help, I would really appreciate it.  I just don't wanna hear the screaming anymore either, and especially since my son, ever since he was tiny tiny learned that when you are upset you scream out like that.  And it's funny cause that is how he has always cried for food....

Well enough of that, thanks for listening.

Well not much going on.  My daughter spent the night as my MIL.  We went to do laundry and did not want to go home, she wanted to spend the night.  So I let her.  They did call about 11 saying that she was crying to go home, but my hubby told his dad it was cause she was really tired and wanted to sleep.  Well we never heard anything after that, and I'm sure she fell asleep right away.  It was nice cause I want her to get used to sleeping at other people houses by herself.  My FIL was so excited when she told him that she wanted to spend the night, which was nice to see too.  So I'll be going over there in a little bit to do more laundry and get her. 

On another note, still no period.  No cramping anymore.  But the other night I did have some tenderness in my pelvic.  No pms or anything like that.  I'm so confussed.  I can't remember for sure when I had my period last month, I know it was like the middle of the month, but it's alluding me at the moment.   And I know that I ovulated about the 4th cause of watching the signs.  So I'm going to wait another day or 2 and take another test to see if shows positive.  So there, I'm just confused. 

Well, as most of you know I've been having issues with my BIL's wife.  I've tried to be nice to her, sent her a couple texts telling her that I want to know what happened between us, and that when she wants to talk I'm here.  I've sent texts to say hi and how are the babies.  And nothing, no ok, fine, thank you, nothing.  So Sat night I started to think about all that has happened and just started to pray.  I was crying and asking why does it have to be like this?  What do I do, why can't we just be civil (well I am), but you know what I mean?  I cried to release the pain that I have built up over the past few years and cried.  I cried and prayed for like 2 hours or more.  Then hubby came home and asked what was wrong.  I didn't want to tell him cause when I do he gets all mad and is like just ignore her, yadda yadda yadda, which only makes me feel worse about it all, like it's my fault.  But not then, he was really sweet about it.  He told me of course to not let it get to me, but I told him that the stuff she says and does really hurts.  Especially when she is "mean" to kathy, by that I mean she ignores her.  He was very comforting and reassuring and he told me the real reason she is like that towards me.  Even though she will say all kinds of other things to people, to make it seem like I'm the one who is the one being mean.  My SIL has told me that everyone one can see how she is and knows that I'm not like that and that she acts weird to everone now and then.  So after talking to him I felt much better.  So yesterday I was feeling pretty raw about the whole thing, and pretty anxious about going to my SIL for Father's Day and she would be there too.  I was still very anxious though about how she would be at my SILs house, especially after sending the texts and such and it being a while since I've seen her for more then a minute.  Well everything was just wonderful!  When she got there I said hello, and hi to the baby.  Then I went off with my babies.  She went off and hid and it was just like that.  We did not talk at all, and that was just fine as she did not try to do anything other then clean and cook. I did get to hold my nephew for a while which was really nice, twice actually!  He's a chunky boy!  Then at the end we were sitting next to each other, and near each other and it was nice.  She normally never goes near me!  So I look at it as a start, though I don't know what it will be like next time.  And really at this point I don't care.

So at my SILs house we celebrated Fathery's Day for all the dads.  The whole family got together and we ate Carne Asada, chicken, potatoe salad, rice, beans, salsa, guacamole...It was really nice.  Kathy had fallen asleep before we got there( we were the first to arrive at my SILs, like normal) and say her sleeping.  It was so funny as she fell asleep sitting in the chair eating an orange!  I want to get the video, and I'll try to post it here.  It is to funny!  So once everyone came we ate and just hung out.  All my neices were asking me when Kathy was going to wake up cause they all wanted to play with her.  They kept asking me like every 5mins.  It was really cute.  Well finally she did wake up, but was still very sleepy and wanted to be with just daddy and I.  So for like an hour we had to hold her until she woke up enough to eat.  She ate some with daddy and then she was off, wanting to be with her aunts.  After that she went and played with her cousins until we left.  It was a really nice day and alot of fun.  I did not do a whole lot, just sat and talked a little, though honestly most was a blurr...but still all a great time!  I hope all you had a great Fathers Day!

Ok, well my SIL just picked up Kathy.  This is the longest that she will be away from us ever!  Even when I was in the hospital the week before my son was born she still saw daddy everyday.  It's going to be great cause my SIL and I both told her that she was spending the night and she can't cry to come home.  I know she will before bed, but that's what I like about my SIL, she won't give in and she is great at getting both my girl and neice to behave.  I trust her with my life!  So we are going to her house tomorrow afternoon for Father's Day and that's when we'll see Kathy and take her home tomorrow night.

On another note, still no period.  I took a test a few days back, but it was negative.  I have been cramping since that day where it hurt like the dickens.  I'm thinking about getting another test to take today to tomorrow. I should have gotten my period by now, but I'm not feeling anything, either from my period or if I were preggy.  Though it would be really early if it was from being preggy.  Anyway, I also started getting pains in my ovaries, just like when I got preggy with my babies.  So we'll see.  But I will keep you all posted. 

Well we took a wonderful walk up to the bakery and ate lunch.  Had the best chicken strips ever! lol.  Then we went over to see if the firetrucks were out, but they were not, so we went to get Kathy some nice church shoes.  After that we went to the store to get some toilet paper and that's when it happened!  We went to get the paper and they had two different kinds.  One 6 pack that was green, and one 12 pack that was pink.  The 6 pack was about $1.50 less, and I did not have enough money to get the other one.  Well, my daughter wanted the pink pack.  I told her that we can't get it as I don't have enough money.  So what did she decide to do?  Scream, and I mean at the top of her lungs!  There was a lady there and as we walked by she made a comment about my girl crying.  How embarassing, and she said in spanish, probably thinking I did not understand her.  lol little did she know, but I said nothing and kept going down the isle.  Well little miss cheeky chops decided that she would put her feet on the floor so I could not push the stroller and kept screaming she wanted the pink toilet paper.  UGH!!!  I told her that I was going to buckle her in cause she was not listening and trying to get out.  That only made like 6 people come over to stare as what I was doing.  Not once did I raise my voice, but instead kept telling her that we could not get the pink paper.  And all this while trying to buckle her in, only having her go ridgid.  What fun that was...If you have ever had your child do this you know how strong they are and how hard is it to get them to sit and get the buckle on before they can move.  It's almost impossile!   Well got her buckled and paid for the stuff, all the while she is still screaming for the paper!   Then we get outside and we are walking back and she is crying to see her dad.  well, as we are crossing the street she decides to slide as far down as she can and stop the stroller, right in the middle of the street.  I yelled at that time for her to stop it and told her "What are you thinking?  You can't stop the stroller in the middle of the road we could get hit."  UGH!!!!!!!   Then we get back over to the bakery and I call hubby for him to come out and tell her that she needs to listen.  Of course what happens?  I get yelled at by him!  Uh HELLO THERE GENIUS IT'S NOT MY FAULT.  I tell him what happened and he tells me to stop it!  GRRRRRRR!!!  How I wanna kick his pants for that.  He's mad at me instead of backing me up with her attitude, then my SIL comes out and I tell what happened and she sits and talks to Kathy.  I told her how embarrased I was for behavour and my SIL told Kathy that she has to be good for me and listen to me.  After all that we walked back home and now she is in her bed relaxing, thank God.  Oh what a day and it's only 2.30!  I'm done, I just hope that she is better behaved the rest of the night, especially when we go to church. 

My SIL did say that she would get my girl tomorrow and take her to play at her house, and then spend the night.  We are going there on Sunday for Father's Day, so I'll Kathy then.  It'll be nice cause my girl needs to get used to going over to other peoples houses (family) to play and sleep over.  She went to my other SIL yesterday, but my SIL did not listen to what I asked her to do and Kathy started to cry, so she called my hubby to come pick her up.  I told hubby that she was fine, just that her sis needed to do what I asked, and to put her to bed at a certain time, but she did not.  Anyway, Kathy passed out on the car ride home....But tomorrow my other SIL will take her, and I know she will not be coming home as my SIL makes them stay...she did this with my niece D and has not had a problem since....

Ok, as most of you know I have had issues with my BIL wife.  Well yesterday I had a revelation and it really has made me smile.  MY SIL IS NOT PERFECT!!!  You have no idea how that makes me feel.  Every time for the past 4 years I have gone to her house and it's been spotless.  Everything in it's place, the floor clean as clean can be.  No dust, no clothes anywhere.  The bedrooms perfect with everything put away, not even a rinkle on the bedlinen.  Well, that all changed yesterday.  I'm trying to be mean, but it's like she is finally acting like a human being/mom/person and not like she is better then everyone else.  Yesterday I went to her house and the shoes where everywhere, there was clothing on the floor in her room, the babies were actually playing with the toys and the bed looked ruffled.  The floor was all dirty.  It made me think, OMG SHE IS NOT PERFECT!!!  For these past few years I've always viewed her as the perfectly dressed, perfect house, perfectly dressed babies.  Outside of the parenting (or lack of discipline, really) she has always come across as being perfect in everything.  Always making food for hubby when he just gets home, laundry done all nice and neat, you get the idea.  But yesterday made me look at her differently. 

Addition:

So I keep thinking this over and over in my head and I just laugh because it's like, how rediculus was I to think that way.  And in a round about way, takes her off that "I'm better then you" pedistal.  I don't know, but my heart has been lighter after seeing that and acknowledging that no matter how hard she tries, she is just like me not perfect, lol.

Well, as most of you know we own our own bakery.  I've been the computer guru for the company as well as the final opinion for managerial and the look of much of the bakery.  Why?  Cause my hubby has been gracious enough to take my opinion into heavy consideration when planning new specials, changing the look of things and how to handle the employees as well as how to carry himself.  I love helping him when it comes to making the bakery work better, run smoother and help creating the "specials".  Its the least I can do since I'm not working at the moment and am unable to work at the bakery for any real length of time due to caring for our babies. 

That is what I truely wanted to do ever since I was a little girl.  I wanted to stay home and raise the babies and take care of the house.  Though it seems to have gotten out of hand for a while, during my second pregnancy (due to preterm labour and bedrest) I have slowly regained my control over house and home.  I spoke to my hubby the other day about me going back to school.  I'm thinking either kindergarden or pre-school teacher or Neonatal Nurse.  He said "no".  Mainly because he wants me to take care of the babies, and I think he secretly likes me being home all the time.  Though he will never admit it, he likes coming home and knowing that we are there and have us great him and the smell of clean.  Which I'm also working on to organize the house really nice and complete to make it easier for me.  I hate just to throw things into a box and call it clean.  It just means it's going to be hard to actually look for something later.  Plus Kathy is getting to the point where she needs to learn how to clean and organize properly as well as the importance of keeping a clean house.  Though she seems to have hit that "no, I dont' wanna do it" stage.  She really likes to help me clean and I try to make it fun for her.  So I'm working on it, making a nice chart with stickers so she can continue to earn her money.  She has earned $10 so far!  That's really good for an almost 3yr old.  And we are learning how to save it as well. 

Anywho, I'm hoping to continue to do the designs for the specials for the bakery as I really enjoy using the program photoshop and can do things really well on it.  I'm still trying to find some balance though between the babies and cleaning and just trying to have fun and not get grumped out all at the same time....Any tips?????