i thought i was making head way with what had happened but i am not so sure anymore

how can a person get to that point and not say anything how can someone have so much hate for another to destroy everything they have worked to build together

ok maybe i am not making much sense to some of you so here goes nothing

ok my partner had cheated on me quiet some time ago well not really its almost at the 6 months mark but it happened after 10 years together there was no signs that there was anything wrong in our relationship i was happy and thought he was too he never once said that there was a problem or that he was unhappy or any thing

i thought i had started to get past what he has done but everytime he is not here i cant help but wonder if .............;.

i have started to wonder wether or not i will ever get past this

its all still so fresh and doesnt help when his skank sorry but there is no betta word for her - his skank wont back off she still has the nerve to send messages and crap it doesnt help when she says stuff the cut the wound open even more

it makes me sick to think of it and hurts more to know that he couldnt talk to me about what he was feeling

there is still so many unanswered questions

the worst thing about it that it was a girlfriends friend that he was with and this B***H knew the whole time some friend right and the friend of hers knew that he was with me but i guess she got him at his most weakest and with his head the way it was he was easy pickings for someone like her but its not the first time for her found out that she did it to someone else man before she got her claws into my man so there is no other word for her apart from skank

ok so i do have alot to work through but it doesnt help when this skank is still around and wont back off  i know that her doing what she is doing to try and get a response out of me but it wont happen bacuse i am better than that and i care about my family and my girls unlike her i stay home with my kids i dont go partying and leave my 12 year old at home by himself what kind of person does that

there is nothing much to say at moment but i am glad we are making head way with our problems i have been making myself more verbal about what i am and have been feeling at times he doesn't like it but tough i dont care

i have bottled stuff up all my life and need to stop as it is what got us here to start with we were never able to be verbally open with each other and i know he tends to tune out now more than ever when i try to speck to him

but if he throws this back in my face than that will be it i wont have it happen again

my blog for today will be posted in my privet one as it is something i dont want everyone to see

thank you

hey all ok this is exactly what the heading says a change of heart

ok to begin with i am not exactly sure what to make of his change of mind by that i mean 1) he has finally gone to doctors he went yesterday wont get results for 2 weeks but atleast his gone   2)  he has been talking about moving from canberra to sydney  3) he is planning on changing his phone number

the going to doctors i understand as i was the one that told him that i am not going to make amends in anyway shape or form until he did but the moving and changing his phone number i dont understand all i wanted to do is move from the house we are in just because the skank only lives a 10 minute walk from my place like 3 blocks away thats a bit to close for my likings and we couldnt move state as that would mean that he would have to stop his company as he is not licenced in nsw and would either have to find another job or try to start the company fresh from scratch in nsw

but i am starting to wonder wether or not its his choice or if it has something to do with her like may be he feels that he could again be tempted by her or that she has been trying to contact him thats the only thing i can come up with for him wanting to change his phone number i havent asked hi to do that but wish i had thought of that

it just doesnt make sense to me all these things only came up over the weekend and that shocked me what am i meant to think when he gets there and changes his mind so suddenly is it her? does he think that he will be tempted by her again? has she been contacting him?

he says hes only doing it to make me happy that it has nothing to do with her as he hates her and never wants to see her again and so on but is it true/

all i want to do is move to another suburb thats futher away from her than we are now