Well last week had a funeral to go to a good friend lost his 20y son../....As they say no one should have to burry there children.

It was a very sad funeral, he was shot and it was all over a girl how sad is this. The funeral was huge over 700 people,  so so so so sad.

Then same week had a girlfriend who had her divorce come threw so she went on a holiday to dubhai to celebrate with another friend then on arrival to dubhai she was found dead in the toilet

they said it was cause by blood clots in the leg, she also was a nurse so I had her funeral on friday.  Her 3 children spoke at the funeral and she would have been so proud of them. she was only 40. I still cant beleive all this has happened hard to take in ........................

Helo to all Im back on boared felling ok just taking one day at a time, very proud of luke for reporting in for me not that he realy new what he was doing but done a good job any way. Took my instructions wel.

I would like to say a big thank you to all my friends that have left me messages, it is sweet so thank you and thanks angela (Harrisions mom) for the present.

The support means a lot to me, so thank you again. 

i think i put the other one on wrong spot any way mum has asked me to do this for her she has had the operation and is doing well not sure when she will be out or get any rezults back but she will let you no when she is back oh and im her son luke

Well of to hospital tomorrow having a lump taken from my breast ,

that is what the bad news was.  I have been threw this before and come out of it good ,

but it is now back and I'm feeling very scared. 

I just keep thinking what if what about my children,  the big (c)  runs in my family, have lost my dad to lung cancer a couple of years ago my dads twin sister, my dads brother lost his breast but is still alive but his daughter had breast cancer and she died a couple of years ago to

at the age of 38.  My mum side is the same, so now you might understand why Im so scared. Bit unsure yet if I have to have chemo or not.

Well thanks for ready and listerning it realy helps, wont be around for a while but will get my

sister to report in for me.  Take care all and thanks for your friendship xoxoxoxoxoxox

 

Have been working heaps, worked every day this week, afternoon shifts and I was feeling very tired, has some of you might no hannahs dad has come back in to my life and it has been great all good so far. Its nice to be a family and hannah loves him to death. She is a realy daddys girl and loving having him around. And its nice to go to work and have her daddy looking after her and helping it makes life a lot easier for me. Well went to doctor this week for a check up and had been giving some bad news so I just wont to say to every one here on minit love one and other, live lfe every day as its your last. and remember dont argue with any one life is to short to argue with any one and remember to always tell your children and family that you love them. well by for now will blog again soon night night

I haven't been with Hannah's dad since i feel pregnant this was a mutual decision between the both of us but he was still there if i need him.  He requested to be at the birth so who am i to stay no as he has just as much wright as i do.  He has been a part of hannah's life since she was born so we do still see a lot of each other he now wants to re unit and try again as im a bit unsure what i wont i dont no do i do this for hannah i also have Luke to think of as well but there is no problem there as they always got on really well.

I'm a little bit scared as i do still love him and he will always be apart of our lives he is a good daddy and i cant take that away from him.  But the question is will it work or not and i no i just cant do it for hannah as i need to do this for me as well

Well have been very busy lately working heaps haven't really had a lot of time to myself but that's life.  My son got his p last fFriday so yeeeeeeeeeeeeeep he now has his license Ism not that over joyed about it all but again thats life and I have to except my son is ggrowing up.

Have had hHannah unwell aagain with asthma and bad ear infection, she has been very sooky but as we all now we know how we feel when we are unwell but for poor littles they cant tell you what is wrong.

Looking forward to the weekend as I have it of going t go up to the snow on mt.wellington and play in the snow. Then tommorow night have a girlfriend going in the road to tam worth compition at the casino  so realy looking foward to that it has been a while since I have been out.

well of to bed now

Finaly I have been on the computer all week trying to work out how to get pic on here

well finaly I have worked it out so Im not that dumb after all what a releif it is .  Still one problem dont know how to down load on to my lounge or blog can any one help .

pleasssssssssssssse

 

Haven't  blogged  for a while so here goes.........................................................Well took Hannah to the doctor and she has bad case of eczema and I'm now using qv oil for bath, and cream that has to be rubbed on her three times a day all over her body, so it wasn't measles.

She is doing really well now but as for Luke well he is about to get his licences which really scares me he has money in trust for him that was left from his dad and now he is looking to buy a car so this is really scared, I'm starting to no how my mum was feeling with me growing up.

But i just have to face the fact that Luke is becoming independent now and is not a little boy any more.

For myself have been to the doctor about what i thought might of been depression and yes i was right it is he wonted to put me on anti-depression tablets but i have decided to try counseling first as im not a big believer in taking tablets but who no i might have to in the end.  I have been really busy working so this keeps my mind of things.

Hannah is of to day care Friday for three hours for the first time don't no how she will go but im hoping she will like it as i feel she needs to mix with children her own age so its going to be very interesting to see how she goes.  They like you to just drop her of but i have told them that i would like to stay a little while to see how she goes before i decide to leave.

Well Hannah woke up this morning with a rash on her belly and back, totally different rash to the last one I'm not real sure what measles look like but my mum seems to think that's what it was any way i will check her in the morning and see then if i feel she should go to the doctor or not .

This poor little girl is always sick I thought she was on the mend.

I have been feeling a little depressed lately and is not real sure what to do i said to my girlfriend about postnatal depression and she laughed at me and said you only get that after you have a baby not when your child is 1, so if there is any one out there that could help or no any thing about this please let me no cause I really don't no what to do

maybe its just me being silly. 

I'm all ways crying for no reason, I have lost my appitite,and just done all the time ?????????????????????????????????????????????

any way have good weekend to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx