Hi,

Just a quick note to tell you that my computer and phone have been down so I haven't been able to update or let you know my book writing progress.  I'm at work right now and just wanted to sneak a quick note to let ya know that my computer should be up by Thursday so I can post more info..........slow process but I definitely feel a need to write because some of you are watching! Which is exactly what I need    

I have been thinking about writing a book a lot lately, but every time I try to start, the same old self doubt kicks in and I stop myself before I even get started.  I love writing and I think that if I ever followed through with it, it could be pretty interesting.  Unfortunately, that voice of self doubt shoots down every good idea that I have.  You know, you come up with a great idea, whether its writing, starting a new business or a great invention.  Then before you even have a chance to get started, the familiar voice starts screaming with the intensity of a mega phone, you can't do that, you don't have any money, you will fail, you don't even know where to begin, what are you thinking, you're living in a dream world!!!!  Suddenly my idea isn't so great anymore......so you guessed it, I KNOW I can't do it so why even try.  That's where you come in, I want to try a human experiment on myself with your help.  I am going to start writing a book.  Every week I will give an update on how my book is coming along, I'll include excerpts from it and tell you of my progress and failures.  I will call this my human experiment.  Can accountability produce achievement?  Can I overcome MYSELF?  Will a life of self doubt prevail....or..........will I conquer my fears through the help of others.........???

We killed the other team and my son didn't get in the game until three younger players got in before him.  He was really upset just like I knew he would be, he came home and said he is going to quit next year.  I was pretty upset too, but I'm hoping it will blow over.  I haven't said anything about it, just hoping things get better before the seasons over.  

I am starting to put more hours in at work now.  I have to start at 8:00 instead of 9:00, aaaargh!  I get off later too.  I hope I can take it, I've been spoiled with my short hours and I'm not looking forward to increasing them, but we need the money.   I guess I should be grateful that I can work whatever hours I need to.  I would just rather be a stay at home mom.  Then I would be able to write all the time......oh well, a girl can dream!  

It's off to another football game in about 15 minutes.  It's the Varsity game and the team we are playing is really bad!!  I'm not looking forward to it though after yesterdays incident at the JV game.  My son usually would get to have more playing time when we are winning by alot, however, who knows now since they have moved that same "golden boy", that I wrote about yesterday, into my sons backup safety position.  So I'm afraid that he will just want to quit if that happens tonight.  I wont allow it though, I don't want my children to learn to be quitters, but I don't want to see all of his hurt and anger anymore either.  So I guess I'll go and hold my breath!  Hopefully it wont go as bad as I'm anticipating.  Okay, gotta go and put on my fake positive and cheerful attitude for the game.LOL.  Let ya guys know how it goes......keep your fingers and toes crossed for me, I don't know if I can take another night of my sons pain and disappointment. 

My older boys had a football game today.  My son just recently got his cast off and is wearing a brace on his hand and wrist still.  He was playing wide receiver (the person who catches the passes)  and dropped a pass.  One of the coaches started screaming at him and telling him it was a lazy attempt, meanwhile the very next play, one of the "golden boys", in other words coaches pet, missed a pass because he completely stopped running and the same coach that just screamed at my son, told the "golden boy",  remember to keep running and then patted him on the back.  I am sooooo sick of these jerks.  I am not one of those parents who go and tell the coaches how to do their job, however, I think if your going to scream at one kid for making an error, you should do the same thing with all of them.  I just constantly tell my boys to keep trying and things will get better, but I don't know anymore, they seem to just be getting worse.   It's hard to encourage your kids when you are just as discouraged as them!

I have been very busy lately trying to raise money for my youngest sons football team.  They are still undefeated and entering playoffs this weekend.  They have 4 games to win and then it's off to the Florida Superbowl Championship Tournament.  It's all very exciting, however, the fundraising is not fun.  We set up a booth downtown last night and sold pumpkins.  It was a long night, and slow selling.  I can't believe the expense of being on a championship team, oh well, it'll be great memories.  I think I'm going to start writing letters to corporations for donations.  It's close to the end of the year and they will all be looking for tax write offs.  Yeah.....I think that will much better than pumpkin selling.  I should be a pro at that, I get lots of practice writing here on Minti.  Well, wish me luck, I'm off  to create my fundraising masterpiece.LOL....

Today has been a good day, busy as usual but good.  I finally got to sleep in, very unusual for me.  My first thought when I woke up was a frantic, "What time is it & where do I have to be?!"  Then I happily remembered it was Saturday and our 2 football games weren't until 2:00 p.m. & 8:00 p.m.  Awwww, I get to doze off for a while longer, sure feels good!  I had promised my girlfriend (the one with the autistic son) that I would help her with her resume, so I didn't lay around quite as long as I would have liked to.  I feel bad because everytime my friend is coming over, my kids and husband always find places to go because her son is hard to deal with.  I need to work on teaching them to have more compassion & patience for others I guess, (a mother & wife's job is never done).  I do understand where they are coming from because her son screams (he is either frustrated because he is losing in his video game or wants a different game on) almost the whole time he is here.  But I just can't imagine how my friend does it on her own.  Not to mention her new job is TERRIBLE!  So anyways, we put her resume together and looked for some jobs for her.  Then it was off to my stepsons game.  They got killed 38-8.  Poor kid, he's on a losing team and my son is on an undefeated championship team.  He plays tonight at 8:00.  It's really hard to watch my stepson's team get slaughtered and it's just as hard watching my sons team slaughter someone else.  I like watching games where there is some kind of competition.  I know, never satisfied......what can I say, I'm a sports fanatic.   Well, thanks for all your support last week, it really meant alot.  So I'm off to my next boring game...oops, lucky my son can't read this!!!!! 

Today would have been my brothers 39th birthday.  My mom sent all of us a text this morning telling us to make sure we have a good day, because that's what my brother would have wanted.   I actually have been pretty good today.  I think I had a harder time on the days leading up to today.  I would like to tell you all how it happened.

I would fly to visit my family every 4th of July.  I was five months pregnant with my second son at the time.  My brother was planning on driving to go visit my dad who was camping in another state, (my parents were divorced and both remarried).  My mom asked my brother not to go away for the weekend because I was flying in the next morning.  My brother told my mom that he would be back early Sunday morning and then be able to spend the rest of the time with me.  My brother was a fun, outgoing and crazy kid.  He always loved to be the center of attention and had lots of friends.  He live for the moment and always thought everyone was crazy for worrying about him.  The night that he was leaving, he told my mom something very strange and out of character for him.  He said, "Mom, if anything happens to me I want you to know how much I love you!"  My mom said, "John don't talk like that."  He said, "I just want you to know that."  That comment to my mom was not like my brother at all.  

My brother and his friend left to go to a dance club that was on the way to my dad's camping site.  The plan was to go dancing for a couple of hours and then drive three more hours to the campground.  They went clubbing and then headed on their way.  My brother had made a wrong turn somewhere along the way, without knowing it.  He ended up falling asleep at the wheel, woke up as they went off the side of the rode and then over corrected and rolled his truck several times.  My brother and his friend were both thrown from the truck.  There was a car traveling directly behind them who called 911 and told what they had seen.  My brother’s friend was alert and told the paramedics that my brother was driving.  His friend then passed away before they could get him to the hospital.  My brother was never conscious and they life lighted him to the nearest hospital.  The saddest part of the whole thing is that if my brother had not made a wrong turn, they would have arrived at the campsite an hour before the deadly accident. 

The next morning I flew in and my mom picked me up at the airport, still unaware of the accident.  (My mom's last name was different so they were having trouble locating our family.)  We were in such a great mood as we pulled into the driveway.  My step dad opened the garage door and told my mom to please come inside he needed to tell her something.  She could tell by the look on his face that it was something serious.  I was getting my son Josh out of the car seat when I heard the most blood curdling scream.  I ran in the house to find my mom curled up on the floor screaming in agony.  We were not given any specific details, only that my brother had been in a serious accident and we needed to get to the hospital, which was an hour drive away.  The fear and anxiety made the hour long drive feel like 10 hrs.  When we arrived we were told that my brother was in a coma and had suffered severe head trauma. 

They had drilled a hole in the top of his head to relieve the pressure.  He also was attached to a breathing tube.  When we went in to see him, it was as though he was just sleeping, he only had a few scratches on his face, and everything else looked perfect.  I was having such a hard time that they had to monitor me because they were worried that I would miscarry because I started having severe contractions due to the stress.   My brother was hanging on, and they still had not notified my dad who was camping.  During the days that we lived at the hospital, my brother’s facial scratches healed.  I would talk and sing to him and hold his hand.  I asked if he can hear me to squeeze my hand.  He did this several times, but the nurses told me he was just posturing, which is common when someone is in a coma.  I choose to believe that he heard me because it always happened when I asked him to squeeze my hand.  They also had a pressure monitor in his brain and whenever it got too high, they would make us leave.  Every time I was in his room and would talk to him, his brain pressure would rise.  I don't know if it means anything but I chose to believe that also.   

By the end of the week, they had finally located my dad; he arrived in the hospital on July 3rd.  On July 4th my mom asked if we could please go to the fireworks display that they had purchased tickets for.  She said they would be sitting with John and she knows that he would want us to go as originally planned.  With much resistance and reluctance on my part, I said okay.  As me, my grandparents and siblings sat through the show, is all I could think about was how much my brother would have loved it, he was all about family gatherings and functions.  When the show was over we headed back to the hospital.  My mom told us that his brain waves had stopped; they think it was about the same time as the grand finale fireworks show was happening.  We know that my brother was hanging on and waiting for my dad to get there before he let go.  We all went in the next morning and said our goodbyes. 

So on this my brothers 39th birthday, I finally write about his last days, the emotions, feelings and heartache that has surrounded my family.  The knowledge that we will one day see him again makes days like today a lot easier to deal with.   HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN, I LOVE YOU! 

 

I am so tired of my dog going to the bathroom on my new carpet.  We got new carpet & wood flooring  in June (for the kids graduation party,).  We used to keep our dog Allie outside while we were at work.  That was until a neighbor complained and since they passed a new dog nuisance law here, we only get one warning before we are fined.  So, we bought a doggy door and even though she knows how to use it, she still will go pee & poo in the house.  It's weird because she'll go outside too.  I just don't get it!!!!  She is a husky and can't stand to be left alone, but I think she is just trying to get back at us.  She knows she is doing something wrong because the minute we get home she runs straight out the doggy door and stares at us through the sliding glass door.  She is already anticipating getting yelled at because she knows what she did.  Today I thought I would outsmart her, so I put her bed on the exact same spot that she keeps going to the bathroom on.  We got home and she didn't go anywhere else in the house, YAY!!  I hope that this will continue, but who knows, she is a very stubborn girl.  Does anyone have any other suggestions?  I have tried all the sprays that are supposed to keep them from going in the same spot, DOESN'T WORK FOR HER!!  Well any help would be appreciated.  I don't know how long the bed thing will work.

It's almost October 5, my brother John's birthday.  He died at the age of 21 in a car accident.  We were a year and a half apart.  I unfortunately never went through the grieving process, I typically just shove everthing down and then finally explode.  So it's been almost 15 years since the anniversary of his death, and I start to get very emotional around his birthday and the 4th of July (the night  his brain died), they pulled the plug on July 5th.  I noticed that the last few days I have been crying alot.  I  have been having a hard time with my boss at work and a little stressed at home so I thought it was just that.  But when I noticed the date, I realized that it had snuck up on me.  I wrote a poem for him a while ago and just changed a couple of things so it was just re-posted, I thought it was fitting for a birthday gift to my little brother!

 

Okay, so I guess you all know what a huge believer in the many benefits of Omega 3, for allergies, asthma, mood swings, depression, learning, and overall well being.  I often comment on how I feel that everyone should start their whole family on supplements, as well as my ADD/ADHD article regarding my son. Many people have asked me what supplements are good to take, so I will attach a link to my website.  You then click on Vitamins & Supplements, for older children (the same ones that my son took, which changed his life) they are called Ocean Essentials Brain Health.  For younger children who are not able to swallow pills, there are Gummy Fish, (which taste like candy, actually the cherry flavored is the best one) Kids Braniums DHA.  I started to sell them after I witnessed the results.  I feel that it is one way to reach out and help other people receive the positive benefits that my family has seen.  So here is the link http://lpetrarca.qhealthbeauty.com.   The anti aging products are really amazing also, but I can't stress the miracle that the fish oil has had on all of us.