My oldest son still hasn't talked to me or let me tell my side of the story in regards to the secret I kept for 16 years.  Last night there was a really serious accident on the news right by my sisters house.  My son and nephew always hang out together and I thought one of the cars in the accident looked like theirs, so I called my sister, but she didn't answer any of her phones.  I then sent my son a text message asking if he was okay, because of the serious accident I had just seen.  He actually texted me back to let me know he was okay.  I know it's small but just the fact that he let me know he was alright made me feel like he didn't want me to worry.  I will take any crumbs of communication he throws out.  It's a hard thing not talking to him or seeing him right now, but I am just going to be patient and keep letting him know I love him.  Hopefully one day soon he will come around....until then, I will keep praying. 

I had a really rough weekend.  We had a pretty serious family issue arise, which has caused alot of pain and hurt feelings.  This has been one of the hardest times in my life.  I try to put on the happy face, but when I'm alone I just keep breaking down.  I am thankful for all the prayers that my friends and family have been giving because I finally am starting to feel a little bit better.  My oldest son is still not talking to me right now, which is very painful.  I just hope that he will come around soon.  I had been keeping a pretty big secret and it recently came out because of my ex husband.  I knew that eventually it would have to come out, but I wanted to go about it the right way and had contacted a counselor to help us through it.  But my ex decided to just take it upon himself to destroy everyone's lives, because he still has no regard for anyone's feelings but himself. I have no one to blame but myself, but I think we all deserve second chances.  We all make mistakes and have done things that we are not proud of, but I think the important thing is that we learn from our mistakes and try to become a better person.  I have definitely done this, but my mistakes are now hurting other people very deeply.  It was my burden to bear, and I can only hope that now that it is out, everyone can start to heal.

I woke up, fully intending to have a very productive day... after all it's not very often you get Friday off of work. I thought of going to the mall, racing for that perfect parking spot, oops I mean A PARKING SPOT. Then pushing throught the doors, shuffling past the people in the mad race for that perfect 60% off deal that I must have. Naw, I'm not in the mood to push and shove people today. Maybe I should take my dog, Allie, down to dog beach and watch her romp and play with other dogs. Naw, it's a little cold and I just paid a fortune to have her groomed.

I give up.... guess I will settle for heating up some left over turkey & stuffing, eating some pumpkin pie and laying back in bed, what a perfect idea! The day after Thanksgiving should be a dedicated day of rest and eating. I think I will start a new family tradition, after all how often do you get to lay around and do nothing. What a perfect holiday weekend.

Cheers!

Hi everyone,

I am adding the next little bit of my book which I posted the first part on my Nov. 5th blog for those of you who didn't read the first part........ 

Matt yelled,” Did you see that”?  Shhh…they all said in unison.  Matt was a short, burly red head, with a quick temper and loud boisterous voice that carried with the strength of a megaphone.  He had freckles which seemed as if they had been splattered across his face with a quick careless flick of a paint brush.   JP had tried to keep Matt out of it, however keeping a secret from Matt was like trying to keep a bear away from its cub. 

A sudden rustle in the bush next to JP, brought him back to reality.  The light flashed quickly again but seemed fainter than before.  He strained to see in which direction it was headed.  His heart started beating faster, the cold night air could not stop the droplets of sweat that formed over his brow.  He knew that he needed to calm down, he was in charge and needed to keep his cool.  “When can we start moving?” John asked. “I told you, be patient and stick to the plan no matter what happens.  That’s the only way we will all make it out of here safe tonight”, JP shot back.  

K....I put my vegas picture on my main page (see blog below)  

Well, I made it back, and I think I need a vacation!LOL.  We had sooo much fun!  My little sister wanted to go dancing so we ended up at this club called Tao in the Venetian hotel.  It was the clubs second anniversary party so it was full of stars.  We ended up in the VIP section and Leonardo DiCaprio came walking by our booth!  The rapper Eve was right next to us along with a bunch of other stars.....you can check it out on  http://www.napkinnights.com then click on Las Vegas-then go to Tao 2nd Anniversary Party.....there's a picture of me and my sister on page 6.  Okay....I know, kind of cheesy but when you're a mom, it feels good to be able to be out on the town and let loose a little bit.  Meanwhile, back at the hotel room.....

My older sister got hurt right when we got to the hotel, she opened up the car door and a 50 pound suitcase landed on the top of her foot.  She was in pain almost the whole weekend and couldn't walk for any amount of time.  My little sister who just had a baby four months ago, didn't want to go out with us because her boobs are size F's!!!  She thinks she looks ridicules because she's really skinny and looks like she's going to fall over on her face.  She wants to stop nursing because they are sooo HUGE.  So she refused to go out with us because she's so embarrased.  We might have all contributed to it though, we had her try a couple of tops on to see if we could hide them....but they looked bigger and we were all cracking up laughing.  We felt bad but we couldn't help it, it was really funny. My mom felt to old to come with us....so it was just the two of us at night hitting the town. 

We all spent time together during the day and went shopping (my oldest sister had to keep sitting down), gambled, ate and just laughed.  It feels good spending time with just the girls.  I'm glad my mom came up with this annual trip.  I'm just too old to go out two nights in a row and still feel good on Monday.  But I went to work and sucked it up.  I have to admit it was worth it!!!

I'm so excited, me, my mom and all my sisters are meeting in Vegas for a girls weekend away!  We all definitely need it, so my mom made it an annual trip so we can all be together once a year.  I think all moms need to get away once and a while to keep their sanity.  I know that I have been going non stop all year and never even took a real vacation this year, so this will be awesome!  My husbands a little jealous, but oh well.  He is really good about taking care of the kids, it just puts a lot of added stress on him having to do it all alone, at least when I get back, he'll appreciate me more, LOL!  See, so this is good for him also.........see how I rationalize things.......whatever works! 

Well, the computers finally fixed, so here is a little part of my book......

The night air was crisp and sharp as he took deep short shallow breathes.  The plan had seemed so simple in the beginning, but as he struggled to suck in the damp, freezing air, his lungs began to hurt.  He had forgotten to account for the cold December weather.  The evening started out just as he had organized.  Everyone piled into the old beat up 1965 yellow Ford Galaxy, the lining from the roof resting on top of everyone’s heads as they slowly drove to the exact spot that they knew would be hidden from view.  They turned off the lights as they approached their destination.  The anticipation and excitement inside the car was overtaking the silence that they needed to have on this particular night. One by one they piled out of the car, trying to crawl to the small cramped covering that would serve as their shelter for the next three hours.  Huddled together behind the thick, prickly bushes, breathe billowing up in a cloud of smoke due to the frosty weather.  Sudden movement and a quick light flashed across the forest.  He sucked in his breathe, it was really happening! A quick flash of regret and fear flashed through his mind.