Well this is my first blog entry. Have been really busy lately. I tend to have nothing on and then just seem to overwhelm myself with stuff. Anyway im trying to make a cupboard for our bathroom as it doesnt have one AT ALL which is really dumb and so the kids just get into everything. Its coming along ok not really that much more to do. i just need to find a few hours spare and would be able to finish it. Then theres the gardening project i decided to do. We are on water restrictions so cant really water the garden but have had a bit of rain which did wonders and we save shower water etc. My boyfriend owns the house so i moved in with him and well hes a man so the garden doesnt really concern him but has given me free reign on it so of course i have all these wonderful ideas. Decided i dont have much else to do today and its just beautiful outside so going to have a gardening day! See how i go anyway.

And finally ive decided to start selling lingerie. Its a company called Angels and Devils and i can sell by party plan, catalogues or direct people to the internet and if they purchase something and put my name in comments i get the commission. Its just gorgeous stuff. Havent quite started yet, but it will be probably within the next 2 weeks i will have everything and be able to get started with it so im very excited. Its a really great range of stuff from the sweet sexy lingerie to the ultra sexy so should be lots of fun and love the fact that i can also sell by catalogue or internet. So of course have been organising that and when all the stuff arrives will find myself even busier but its better than sitting around lol.

Its good to be keeping busy atm, my dads death anniversary is coming up at the end of April and im so anxious about it. Everyone says the lead up is worse than the actual day but its just that atm almost nothing sets me off. It just doesnt seem like a year ago. Its all gone to fast and sometimes still catch myself realising hes really gone and its like im back to where i was a year ago. I know it will get easier but sometimes just seems like it never will. He was only 59 and just went too quick. Was diagnosed with cancer 2 weeks and 2 days before he died. We hardly had time to accept he even had cancer to then having to accept him being dead. I was with him when he went which sometimes im thankful for and other times not. And it took me a long time to get past the fact that every one kept telling him he could go but i had some time with him about an hour before he died and he was only very slightly lucid then and i told him that he could go and that mum and i would be ok (which is what i had decided was keeping him he always worried about us soo much) and almost as soon as i had said it he slipped into a coma and was soon gone. I know it was the right thing to do as i hated seeing him suffer but i only said it for him im getting better but i wasnt ok without him. He was such a wonderful man and always my rock. Loved me unconditionally like no other man ever has (until now). I just miss him.

Anyway i think that enough for now got myself all upset so will go do some gardening to distract myself lol. Hope to hear from you all soon

Leanne