Yep, Im bleeding again. This time the pain is more intense than the last. I feel weak again and so very tired. I am starting to wonder if there is any point in going to the doc when all I will be told is that everything appears to be fine, cant find the source of bleeding etc. Do I really want to put myself through being treated like an idiot again... like some sort of freaky piece of meat for people to play with??? I said to all the doctors last time that something was wrong but only 1 listened to me. He followed procedure and sent me to the next doctor etc. Why did no one listen to me??? I know my own body and I know this is NOT right... then again I'm only a female so what would I know...........

fi xoxoxo

Hi to all my minti friends,

                                            Well it has been a while since I last blogged. Miss M has been keeping me on my toes that's for sure. Add Miss G to the mix and life certainly hasnt been dull to say the least!

Miss M is growing so fast and is just beautiful. She's 3 months old and going great guns. She has quite a little personality and the most endearing smile. I just adore her to bits!!!! Her first tooth is on it's way and she is very determined to get up and moving. All she wants to do is crawl, talk and be apart of it all. Miss M adores her big sister and likewise from Miss G. Miss M is quite happily waking me up at around 4:00 am every morning for the first feed of the day bless her. We kind of have a routine going but my main aim at the moment is to try and get her to sleep through the night...... wish me luck on that one! Then it will be conquering sleeping in the cot..... now that one will be a battle. Not only does Miss M love sleeping in bed with us there is a very proud Dad that loves having her there as well. We have the cot beside the bed so I'm going to be attempting to get her in the cot over the next few months. I love her to bits but I also love sleeping on my own!!!!!

Miss G recently turned OMG my little girl has grown up so much and is starting to turn into a little lady. She is doing quite well at school except on the Maths front. She has always struggled but now it seems to be getting a little bit worse. I have been talking to her teacher about it and he's been helping where he can. Jd and I have been looking around for a tutor for her. We have tried ourselves but she just wont listen. She sits there and rolls her eyes, rolls around on the floor or sits there and stares off into space. I can understand where she's coming from as I was terrible at school myself and really didnt give a rats about it!! Miss G can also have quite a lovely little attitude when she chooses to!!! We have had quite a few little discussions over the last little while. The amount of back chatting one little girl can do is astounding!!!!!

Jd...... is not here!!! He left for Cairns today and is currently steaming north towards the Torres Straits. Yep, he's gone fishing again. It was really hard saying good bye to him yesterday but I am still standing strong. There were a few tears shed on both sides. I could see his heart breaking as he said good bye to Miss M, then Miss G and then me. There was more than a tear in his eye as he placed Miss M in her car seat. Hugs with Miss G and then it was our turn. It's a shit situation but it has to be done. We need the money and finding work around here is next to impossible. We have mounting bills and we both want to get it all sorted. How long he's gone for I'm not sure. How much he is hurting being away from Miss M.... I know it's tearing him apart and it's only day 1!!!!! We are both hoping that the skipper is right when he says they are catching well. We have a magic dollar amount and the better they catch, the better pay, the faster he's home. So it's house full of girls at the moment!!!! I'm doing suprisngly well on my own... maybe I needed the break from him lol. I shed a few tears yesterday and a couple of times today but on the whole I'm doing ok. It's the quiet moments that can really suck.......

Sorry it's taken me a while to blog but I should hopefully have a little bit more time in the near future.

Love to all,

fi and the girls xoxox

A great big HELLO from Miss M to all of Mum's minti friends...... that's my girl!!!!!

Miss M showing off....

Miss G already for Heritage Day....

Easier said than done I know but here's a little story for you that may get you to think twice about dismissing things.

Most of you know that I was pretty crook there for a while and then I fell pregnant. Got through the pregnancy and now 9 weeks later...... I have had constant horrible headaches.. my excuse,lack of sleep and hormones. I keep having little dizzy spells and I have become more confused than normal. I am very forgetful and really just thought it was tiredness thanks to a bub and a 9 year old. Then on Saturday something went a little funky with my vision while I was out shopping with G. Starting seeing all weird and wonderful colours.. all blury. Again, put it down to tiredness etc. Sunday jd noticed that I had a burst blood vessel in my eye (yes jd is still here and didnt go fishing). Was a little annoying but nothing else really. Woke up Monday and my eye was really sore and the blood has spread. So I went to the doc and the next thing I know I have an appointment with an eye specialist. That appointment was today and little did I know that this appointment could potentially change my life.

The specialist has given me drops to help clear up my eye but he ordered blood tests. Who would of thought for an eye anyway. The reasons for the blood tests........... what's going on with my eye (it does have a name but I can't remember the exact word sorry) is a symptom of something else going on inside me. There are a few possibilites apparently but the main suspects are.... chrons disease, athritis, blood disorder and brain tumour or some sort of pressure on the brain. The specialist is being very cautious in telling me what's going on (makes me more suspicious) but he wants me to take it easy. I go back to see him in a weeks time but if anything changes I'm to go straight to hospital or back to him. He thinks that there is some level of athritis going on which could explain a few things but he is waiting for the results. I told jd that i was going to the shop but I didn't. I was sent off for a scan of my brain. (sorry manda for not say anything). I get the results tomorrow. I havent said anything to jd and I wont be until I know what the results are. I really dont want him to worry or stress out. I need him to be well rested to look after bubs and miss g.

So everyone please...... if you think or feel that somethings wrong with your health then please PLEASE get it checked out. Sometimes the simplest things can be symptoms of other things.

love to all,

fi xoxo

Here is my happy little bubba!!!!!!