It's been a really long day today.The weather has been absolutely terrible-chucking it down with rain and blowing a gale.It's still bloody freezing as well!We had alsorts planned for today and didn't do any of them.The kids have been quite good,playing games,although J is such a bad loser.He has a fit and is such a cheat,he can't even play snakes and ladders without cheating.They helped me to clean up and prepare our evening meal so I can't complain.

This afternoon I wrote two pieces of advice.One was cyclical breast pain and the other non cyclical breast pain. The other day someone asked in Q&A about it.I do suffer from it myself and was given advice from my doctor.Anyway one of the articles was reported-something about it being pasted from a site onto here. Well'do you know I haven't a clue how to do that.I tried to paste graphics the other day and just couldn't do it-a bit thick really. After reading the 'report' about my advice I went onto the site that it was said to come from-and it was very much like my article. I had no idea that this site even existed until another member said about it.I have deleted both of the advice given-and they took me ages to write!!!! I don't believe in copying others work and because they were so similar they're now gone.Feel a right twit but I don't supposeit'll be the first or last time!

My hubby's friend has been today to sort his wifes funeral out and it is going to cost £4000!. Isn't that disgusting.Apparently she wanted to be buried and it's more expensive than cremation. The only thing is we don't think she had life insurance and so her husband is having to go to the social security next week to see if he can get help. Lets hope it all works out.

I got a phone call at 9 o clock this morning to say that a good friend of ours had died.She had a lot of health problems.She was diagnosed with cancer nearly 3 years ago and had had radiotherapy and 2 lots of chemo.Then last year she had to have an emergency heart bypass.But because of her cancer she couldn't take drugs concerning her heart.I'm not sure how old she was at the moment(she never divulged her age),but I would say she was about 55.

She was more of a friend of my partners.Her husband and mine go fishing together and I think  my partner thought of her as a second mum-his mum died 6 years ago and they had a turbulent relationship.

Both of them are genuinely lovely people.Down to earth and would do anything for anybody.The sort that if you saw them in a supermarket they would wait for you to give you a lift.For the last 2 years I made them a Christmas cake and so they so appreciated it.

Elaine really suffered in the last few years and yet she never complained.She was a lovely person and it seems such a shame that a lovely person that wishes no harm on anyone should die so young.The one consolation is-well I think so,is that she died at home in her favourite chair.Appernetly she would get up in the night to make a cup of tea and watch tv when she couldn't sleep.That's what she did in the early hours today and passed away in her chair.

It's so sad when you have seen someone suffer so much and just last week her visits to hospital had been cut because of an improvement in her health,to pass away when she could have had a little of her life back.My partners friend and Elaines husband is totally destroyed-she was simply his life.Death is such a hard time and grief can be totally unbearable that some people just never get over losing a loved one,I hope this will not be the case.They say time is a great healer-but not always.

Good morning!!Feel much less grouchy today-hubby back at work-Yay!!. Peace. Love him to death but he should have been born a woman cos he sure can nag.

I rang my slimming consultant this morning.I've got really disheartened with it all.Same food and basically bored with it.Didn't cook again last night -one of those days,so we had chinese.I made such a pig of myself and still have gut ache. Anyway,after speaking to her(she's lovely) I hope I'm back on track.I so want to get to my target for the summer and I have another stone to lose but it's bloody hard work.

It's real quiet at the moment,kids next door playing.They have 3 girls and I think L has his first crush!! Got nothing planned for today been on here for ages,once I'm on I don't want to get off. Got a pile of pots ready for the dishwasher waiting to go in-maybe I should train the dog to do it.

School hols are really quite hard work.Mine are at the age where they don't want to go to the park and stuff like that ,they want trips to the cinema and stuff.Last time I took them it cost nearly fifty quid-and the film was crap. They like to bake but I eat it all. Oh well.

God, I have been ssooooo bored today.Got up this morning full of beans-it was a gorgeous morning for a change,bright sunshine and it 'looked' a bit warmer.How wrong I was,its bloody freezing again.My other half been at home today aaaarrrrgggghhhh. I love him to bits but he's done my head right in.Fussying about the dishwasher,cleaning work tops getting on my nerves!!!He's usually at work every day but had a fall out last Thursday about his job circumstances-men. Anyway he's going back tomorrow-yippee.The thing is I have a routine with kids,housework etc and when he's home it all goes to pot.That sounds real ungrateful I know.Kids been bored as well today,I think it's just one of those days,when you want to do something but you don't know what.

At least I don't have to cook tonight-chinese.Gone right off my diet this past week,really bored by it.And to cap it all,it's just started to rain-wonderful..

Haven't done my blog for a couple of days-a bit lacklustre in the way of anything happening.Had a nice wake up call yesterday morning,thick white snow!!! I love snow when it first lays,beautiful.One of my friends got wed yesterday,she looked amazing.She's one of these people that would look good in a potatoe sack ! Her dress was stunning,very fairytale.The snow had gone all slushy though by the time she got wed. The evening 'do' was good too.My partner was driving though so didn't drink.I think I did his head in.I obviously had a few-well you have to don't you?!! I kept asking him if he wanted to dance,I think I really got on his nerves cos I must have asked him a hundred times.He's usually up like a shot doing his John Travolta,bit of a boring so and so yesterday,weddings don't do it for him.We gave a lift to two of our neighbours as well we had to travel a bit of a distance and they didn't even say thankyou,can't stand ungrateful people.

Just a bit extra,kids being good!!!!

Had a really bad day yet again yesterday.After the disastrous parents evening I decided to go and see the school headteacher. The head is a really nice man who is really easy to talk to and has helped me loads in the past.He was brilliant to my boys when I had to go to court(5 years ago). He defended my kids and me in court and without him at that point I don't know what I would have done. Anyway,when I saw him yesterday he said that he hadn't been made aware of and behaviour probs with L and wasn't very pleased that I had been bombarded with all bad stuff about L. Anyway we have decide that L may have underlying worries or problems and because the headteacher is also a qualified counsellor,we will be starting counselling sessions with him after the Easter hols. So fingers crossed it will go well and I may find out why L is such hardwork at times.

I spoke to my mum yesterday about L and she said that it was my fault he was the way he is because I have been too strict!!!I have brought them up on my own up until I met my partner nearly 3 years ago,what does she expect? My mum has never had them overnight or babysat for me and never takes them out. My mum devotes all her time to my niece and always has done. I was so upset when she said this to me-she often makes me feel bad about myself. A few weeks ago my niece rang me in tears(14 years old) because her mum was working a lot of hours and hadn't seen her much. I told my sister how she was feeling and it caused an argument between my sister and niece and my mum promptly told me that I should have minded my own business! I'm on the outside of their comfy little circle and it really p.....s me off. My partner says that I shouldn't tell my mum anything about what happens at home because she just critisises.

And then to cap it all off my man came home and said he'd chucked his job-his boss treats him like dirt and has for ages,whether he'll go back when hes' calmed down I don't know,so last night I came off my diet-had curry wine and chocs then went to bed feeling very sick!!!! Never mind it's all sent to try us.

Firstly thanks to everyone that wished me a Happy Birthday. The day didn't start off very well,my son,L decided he didn't want to write my card and then promptly told me what my partner had bought me. My partner always buys me a bag full of stuff that's 'useful' as well as good stuff. Headache tabs-cos I get a lot of headaches,beechams powders cos I keep getting a cold,some new scales,cos of my diet,a new toothbrush,calculater'shampoo-daft stuff but he always makes me laugh.He did give me some money for new clothes as well and took me out for lunch on Sunday.

My kids are making me miserable.I have been doing a sticker chart for over a week now and they have more crosses for the past week than stars. The constant arguing and fighting is really getting me down. The main problem is L. He loves to be the boss. He cannot bear it if J is doing his own thing and has to go and disturb him-consequently ending in a fight.

I have been to parents evening this afternoon and it was terrible. The teacher said that L is doing fine academically but his behaviour at playtime and lunchtime is horrendous. She said that yesterday he taunted a boy that has learning difficulties so much he was coiled up like a spring and exploded with rage when he got back into the classroom he lashed out and hit some other kids.He is cheeky to the dinner time staff and actually shouts back at them. My kids teacher made me cry. I feel so desperately sad and feel I have failed in bringing my twins up to respect adults and their peers. The teacher even talked about putting L on report because he is so bad. I am strict in manners and try my hardest to bring them up to be good,responsible kids but I feel like I'm doing it all wrong. L has worn me down so much I feel desperate .If anyone reads this and can help me I would be grateful for any advice.

Well, I went on the hen night,and it was rubbish. Even though I felt ill I put the effort in-dyed my hair,went and bought a new top and went. I wish I hadn't really. We went to a chinese restaurant which included cabaret and a disco. Well, the food was really disappointing and yet the restaurant has had fantastic reviews.I think we should have all ordered onions and 'oh can you put a bit of meat and veg in,only if you have any of course'. I love onions but you can get too much of a good thing.The cabaret was like watching The Tweenies-fine if your six. And to top it off-I bet you think I'm right miserable,the company wasn't very good either.Simply no atmosphere. It's such a shame it's weird how you look forward to something for ages and it ends up such a let down. Never mind the bride to be was having a whale of a time,helped by the lashings of vodka! Hope the wedding bash is better next week. Hopefully I will feel better by then.

It's my Birthday tomorrow-three years to go and I'll be forty.They say life begins at forty but I'm depressed about it already.Not to worry.

Well,I've got e really bad cold again!! I have had flu twice and a bad cold three times since the beginning of winter. I eat loads of veg and fruit,yet still manage to get it again. My son , J, has bacterial tonsillitis and can hardly swallow. I took him to the doctors yesterday and got antibiotics. It's proving to be hard work-it's the first time he's been given tablets instead of medicine. What a nightmare,you think I would be giving him poison with the fuss he makes. The tablets are quite small-much smaller than vitamins he takes,yet he has a problem with them. I don't know if it's because of his throat being so swollen though,probably.

I'm supposed to be on a hen night tonight. I haven't been out with girlies for months and have really been looking forward to it for ages. I don't know whether to go. I look and feel a bit rough-I went out today with no makeup on-not even eyeliner,and thats something I never do. Plus I need to dye my hair-grey roots is not a good look!! I don't really want to leave my son either even though he wants me to go out and says I'll be alright with dad,he'll look after me. Maybe it's because I don't go out much and it all seems a big effort.Oh well,I'll see a bit later.

Thankyou to everybody that answered my blog-8th March. I haven,t logged on for a while cos I wasn't very well,but thanks to everyone for answering me. I still don't see why it was taken off at the time though,it's not as if I copied from anyone elses advice or quoted anybody  elses stuff. Never mind,you live and learn!!

I had quite a boring weekend-hubby working. Yesterday was horrible-I hate Sundays!!!! I don't know why I don't like them I never have.

Kids behaving I've done some sticker charts for them.They're bending over backwards to earn money and get stickers!!! Wish someone would give me a sticker for being good!!!!

I posted two pieces of advice today and they have both been sent to 'minti' I don't understand why as I have based both lots of advice written on my own experience. A lot of the advice I have written about today has been given to me from my nan. I have been totally honest with my posts and have not used any 'disconcerting' language, so I really don't know why it has been taken off. I have just asked in the Q&A section if anyone knows why. I'm really puzzled by this and it is bugging me. I've read through my posts again and I don't see what is wrong with them.

Having a quiet day so far. J is at his friends house,no doubt killing Darth Vader again in a star wars game! L is at work with his stepdad/bestmate. My partner is a plumber by trade and L likes to live and learn. L is a 'doer' and is in his element when he has his hands dirty 'at work' He loves his stepdad to bits and would follow him anywhere. Even when he has to go to the bathroom, L says 'where's dad?' I think that meeting my partner,Darren was a God send for my kids as well as me. I think boys really need a male influence in their lives, especially someone with the same mental age as my twinnies!!!

 I'd just like to say that I love this site. There is only one problem-it's so addictive! I think that to read others blogs and experiences of life, cheers you up no end. To give answers to questions or give advice to people when its needed -and you can help,is really good and great for your own self esteem.

Have a great weekend,Loopy

Up to yesterdays blog everything was fine. I brought my kids home from school ,had a good report made about them and hey presto-we went shopping and they were little sods. L  was daring J to stick his fingers into yoghurt pots. They syarted acting like a pair of clowns down the aisles. Then they started arguing and fighting.Fantastic. L then starts laughing hysterically when I tell him off and sits on the floor in the middle of the supermarket and just laughs and laughs. I was ssoooooo mad-how I kept my hands of him I don't know. My partner said they would be going straight to bed when they got in. What do you do when you are in a situation like that? Do you shout and scream? Do you give them a smack? Or do you ignore it? It was really embarrassing because people were staring at us as though to say,can't you control your children? Obviously at the moment I can't and I'm so fed up of trying different ideas-time out bed early toys being taken off them. I've just been looking through minti advice and I'm going to try another star chart as recommended by cazza. Hope it works before I end up losing it.

Feel real chuffed today.I went to my slimming club and that 2lbs I've been trying to lose for two weeks is now lost. I got my stone award-yippee!!!!! I've lost two  stone now altogether.

J and L a little better today. I've taken treats and privilages away until behaviour improves. Also taken away their games consoles because of them fighting over them. I think technology plays a massive influence on childrens behaviour today. I certainly don't remember arguing with my sister over skipping ropes and suchlike. So, I am in a good mood.

J and L have been on a 12 week course and have just finished it last week. They've been going bowling,laser quest, cinema and eating out-all on a youth development course. Their 'team leader' and organiser has just been with their portfolio and he said taking my boys has been an absolute pleasure. He said they are extremely polite and well mannered and very caring towards others. He said he hoped he would be able to take them on the course again( the course is based on a referral from the school ). I feel proud of my boys and proud of myself.

Really didn't feel like doing my  blog yesterday. J and L at loggerheads all the time and I felt mentally shattered. I did visit minti last night though. I have decided to stop all possible triggers ,that I can think of to try and curb the boys behaviour. No visits to Grandmas-they like to go for a cup of tea after school. Bed early and to limit juices etc. I am really strict about sweets and drinks anyway because the slightest hint of too much sugar and they get really hyper. At the moment I can't wait for them to go to school and I dread 3 o'clock when I have to pick them up. That sounds really bad but I am so worn out from their bickering and shouting it affects my full day.

I have tried to stay calm with them but it usually ends up with me shouting. I have a friend who has twins that are 2 years older and boy/girl not two boys. She says hers are the same but she 'closes' her ears-how do you do that?

Hope eveyone had a good Mothers Day yesterday.Mine started off okay with the plan to go out for the day and have a carvery,but I ended up getting a really bad headache and feeling rough so ended up at the park! It's a really nice park though. Animals,birds etc it's just sooo cold here at the moment. It's been on the forecast today that we are due to get really cold weather and snow- I can hardly wait!! My dog,Tess is really quiet today I think her age is catching up with her.It breaks my heart when shes sleepy and a bit off colour. I love my dog to pieces and dread 'that day' I must admit I do think about it a lot nowadays. I'm bored today Mondays are really dull I don't know why. I think the Boomtown Rats had it right with their song Tell me why I don't like Mondays!.

Happy Mothers Day everyone-hope you have a lovely day with your kiddies.Did you get your breakfast in bed? I didn't! Lots of love 'n' stuff,Loopy xx

Perhaps not quite ready for spring-sat freezing...bbbbrrr.

1st March- hopefully warmer weather on the way soon. It seems its been a really long winter. Probably because we had sush a rubbish summer-that's if you can call it that! Feel really tired today, I've had to tell J and L off lots today. Thry started as soon as I came downstairs this morning. I got them to do chores to see if that would keep them occupied long enough to stop them arguing. At the moment I am teaching them how to sort washing into whites ,colours etc. My partner is a bit shall we say-undomesticated! He works really hard for all of us but is at a loss in the house. I think it's really important to teach children the basics of cleaning,cooking etc,hopefully when they fly the nest they will be better equipped to cope-they could be the next masterchef or something mmmmm..... beans on toast no more(my partners signature dish).