Well i'm on here to vent today, i don't expect any responses just needed to say my bit in the hopes it may make me feel better. My partner and i decided that we might start to try for another baby sometime and just when i was ready to get going with the idea he had backed off. Well i was really upset about it for a couple of months and had just started to accept that it wouldn't happen and then i had an early misscarraige. I had only just started to feel like i may have been pregnant and was about to go and get a preg test when it all went wrong. Even though it wasn't planned i'm still feeling the loss of what might have been. I've been having problems ever since and have had every test the doc can think of but i'm still having pregnancy feelings which is making it even harder for me.

We were only using the withdrawal method (his choice) and i had said that if he really didn't want a baby he should get the "snip". Well that didn't go down well at all! Anyway, so now we are back to using condoms which he hates and our love life has just about dissapeared. He is still loving and seems to want to have sex but its just not happening. We love each other very much and he has been very supportive but i think he was relieved with what happened. I'm not, now more than ever i want another baby. I feel like that may have been my only chance to have another one and now there may not be another. He keeps giving me what he thinks are good reasons not to have another, none of these are financial as we have money. Our house is more than big enough to fit another 2 kids in! lol We would have to get a bigger car but that isn't an issue as we have already dicussed that and are planning on getting a bigger one anyway. Our 3 boys would love to have another sibling.

The only problem i can think of is that he is worried that i won't have the time to spoil him like i do, that is getting up and making his lunch before he goes to work and the usual housework, having tea ready when he gets home, all of which i enjoy doing. Even though i kept up with things when i had the other 3 and he knows it!  I'm just feeling so down about it, i've tried to talk to him but i can never find the right words without getting upset. I'm going to try again tonight but maybe i should be happy with what i've got and get on with life.