i have been too lazy to get on the comp lately, but thought id jump on n tell yas whats been going on !

Bugs has jst had her 3rd birthday, and shes starting to talk more now :D

Jay well be 2 in june, hes growing up slowly lol, hes still my midget,

Umm a couple of weeks ago i found out i was preg, :D i was very excited, but i lost the baby less then a week later :(

It was alot differant emotionally then the last miscarriage, i knew this time that it was there, i wanted to have this baby,

I started bleeding on the saturday, it was only spotting but deep inside i knew it was gone :(, i went up to the hospital hoping the would say differant but they didnt even look at me, gave me a blood test and sent me home,

Went back the next day as the bleeding had got heavier, same thing... no tests to see if it was there, jst a letter that said threatened abortion, and that was it !!

I managed to carry on for a week, believing it could still be there, but the gp informed me on saturday that it was definatly gone,

I knew from the day the spotting started but because i had no pain i refused to believe it :( i feel guilty now because i didnt feel a thing while my baby died

while most of aus are celebrating australia day, there are alot that are remembering the death of their culture :/

i think that more people should be aware that its not all about drinking and having fun, alot of lives have been ruined since the day captain cook settled here

I am half aboriginal - my mum was part of the stolen generation.... i still take my kids to the aus day celebrations but as they get older i will be explaining about our culture as well and why alot of aboriginals do not celebrate this day

WEll been hectic lately, 1 computer crashed and icouldnt get on minti on the other one as much since we were both using the same comp, then the comp we were using (and the tv and ps3) all went down in a power surge...

Managed to get hold of a working computer through the place we rent the 2 originals through, but he said theres no chance of getting either of the comps fixed since the company is crap and he was quiting that day, he did the dodge and brought usout a working computer before he left for good.

we rent our tv through a differant company who dont open up again till tuesday so hopefully on wednesday we will have a nice new tv to watch

and we are buying a new ps3 on wednesday :O hopefully with a play tv set on it so i can record the kids shows!!! because of the tv not working for the week we got a crappy old tv to watch which bugs gonna get to have in her room (with the digital set top box since she has an areal plug there too)

New years has been good though, first day of the year and i decided its time to get rid of the cot and nappies, next week the dummies are going as well!!! bugs been nappy free for 2 days and had 2 accidents which i think its pretty good :D im proud of her, and shes been sleeping well most nights in her big girl bed...

Jays happy in bugs old cot big change since hes cot broke when we moved and hes been in a porta cot since (personally i dont think kids should be permanently in a porta cot, but i can understand why some parents chose that option)

I dont know what to do, miss bugs got a fever :/ well i know the basics,

the problem is that its up and down - in minutes, one minute shes 39 next minute37  shes gone up to 40 and i preparared to go to the hospital! then it was back to 38!! and im double checking, BOTH ears!!

this was day 2 of this!! dr said shes happy and that means shes fine :/ shes NOT happy! she looks happy to ppl that dont know her but shes sitting still, shes quiet, shes doing NOTHING its not normla!!

the plan atm is if it hits over 39.5 she will go to the hospital tonight, if shes wakes with a fever back to the dr, who will hopefully do something