My eldest son took me back in the weekend,took me back to the time when we were waiting for him to enter this world. I saw it. I saw that look of knowing that something was so much bigger than you. I felt that when I was pregnant with my first. We had  the horrific car accident and things had gone wrong all the way along. The pregnancy was iffy from the moment of the accident and steadily got worse to the point of it being suggested that it not continue. I had been run over and had been in a coma and I was filled with glass. I still carry some of that glass in my spine. Oh,to be so old that safety glass wasn't around or seat belts!!! Does that age me! Well it was an older car that we had,a 1969 G.T.S.. I remember the total sense of panic when we brought home our little bundle and didn't know what to expect!! That was the look I saw on my son's face. Not knowing what's ahead. He's smarter than us though,we thought we could handle everything alone and he already has put out the request for aid during the learning process. At least he does see it as a learning process!!!  What made us think we could do it all? We were younger...geeee...and I guess dumber!!!  Maybe the tread for parents to be older and more established is a good one. We were unabashed and went ahead full force and full flung into parenthood. We really had no idea. I can say that now but then??? No..I was so sure,so confident that we could do it . I saw that little glimmer of fear. I know that look! I feared that I really would do something wrong. I would somehow, out of not knowing what the heck I was doing,  harm this little thing that I loved more than life it's self!! I can laugh now but then it wasn't funny at all. I watched like a hawk everything,I watched when I should have been sleeping,I drove myself so hard to have everything prefect. Crazy!!! So if asked for advice i will say,relax. It was the best advice that I was given but you have to be in the mode to hear it,relax! It seems simple enough but it isn't. I wish I had choosen to breath in and relax but we were so alone. Ohhh,maybe that is the gift that Grandmothers can give! I wonder if this is were my meandering little mind is going??? Heeee,heee,it has been on my mind...how do you be a good Grandmother???? Maybe when those looks cross your Baby's face,the ones you know because you've been there,maybe you will be there so they can relax.