Yesterday was my daughter's first day at Day Care.  I was very nervous.  I dropped her off at 7.30 and even though she was booked in until 430, I picked her up at 2.30.  She was fine.  The carer said she had had a good day.  She came home with no visible signs of being traumatised by the experience (though she was perhaps a little surprised to be dropped off at a stranger's house for the day).  She enjoyed playing with the children there and particularly liked the "baby" that is being looked after by the same carer.  I think it was a positive start.  Certainly there was no crying or anything of that nature.  I will see how tomorrow goes when she visits again.  This time I will leave her until 4.30 and see how she copes.  Or rather, how I cope!

The other day after putting my daughter down for a nap she called out to me and said "Mummy, poo".  I went up to her room only to be handed a chunk of her poo that she was proudly holding.  "It's a big one", she said.  Essentially, she had taken off her nappy and had pooed right there in her cot.  Every since then, every lunch time nap she has taken off her nappy and either pooed or weed in her cot.  Not sure what I'm going to do about it.  I'm sure tired of cleaning sheets though.  One day I had to clean the sheets and the poo and change the sheets only to go back in at the end of the nap and find that she had weed in her sleep and, yes, she had taken her nappy off again.  I tried pants but she just takes them off.  The only thing I can think of now is her swimmers because the zip is up the back.  She's also taking a lot longer to get back to sleep so I'm wondering if she is getting a bit over her day time naps.  God, I hope not. 

Today I booked my daughter into Family Day Care.  Two days a week from now on she'll be going to an nice Italian ladie's house with four other kids away from her mother.  She, I am sure, will be fine.  I will take some time to adjust.  Whilst I desperately need the break and will need it even more so when the next baby comes along, I fear her being away from me all day and wondering where I am and whether I'll be coming back.  Having said that, at two and a half she should be pretty confident that I'll be around.  I hope! Well, we'll see how it goes.

I have been ill and run down for a few weeks now.  I am being forced to rest which I find unbearable - being a person who is constantly on the go getting things down.  The bit I find hardest is not being able to adequately care for my daughter.  It shakes me at the core to feel that I can't keep the momentum going.  I have been slack on meals, on play-time, I have even fallen asleep on the couch during the day when she has been playing with her toys.  Today she is out at her grandmother's and I have spent the day in bed other than a Doctor's visit.  All up, feeling pretty miserable and inadequate.  Not good at giving myself a break.  Even when it's a deserved one.