Been working too much I am sooo exhausted I'm not sure I can manage another week.  I just keep thinking the money will come in handy to pay the bills and it will all be worth it in the end.  My work has asked me to do loads of hours because they have left themselves so short staffed they just can't cope.  Yet when I ask if I can increase my hours they still say "NO" I am not sure of my rights with regards to whether I can take it further if they won't increase my hours because they have told me they are not recruiting yet they have taken on 3 new members of staff. Also with all the extra hours I am working I am just getting paid standard rate and I am not sure if they have to give me holiday entitlement.  Employees rights, what a joke, we don't have any. 

Alex has been on his best behaviour since the incident on the 4.09.09 and he is still banned from playing any games but he seems to be coping with this.  Still not sure how long this will last but I am willing to wait and see. 

Not feeling great at the moment still having some depressive episodes not sure if it is due to working too many hours or just the onset of the possibility of winter.  My friend has had her op to remove her lymph nodes just waiting for the results of the bone scan.  My other best friend is emigrating to Canada and this will be our last Christmas together she is more than a friend to me she is almost like family so I am trying my hardest to learn to let her go.  She will have a lot to sort out over the next few months as she is planning to leave in July so I truly feel sorry for her and all the work she will have to do. 

That is it for now, hope you are all ok and will catch up with you when I get a moment to stop and relax.

Hi, a while back I mentioned that my friend had found a lump in her breast and it was breast cancer.  They have since operated and the lump was removed they also removed a lymph node from her armpit and were testing to see if it had cancer.  I spoke to her today and have bad news the lymph node has cancer and now she has to go back for another op to remove all the lymph nodes and then she has to have her bones x-rayed to make sure it hasn't spread to her bones.  Then will have chemo and radiotherapy.  Please,please pray your hardest that she will get better and that the cancer hasn't spread to her bones. 

The worst thing a parent can feel is when they feel a failure as a parent.  Well that is how I felt when I found out that my eldest had been downloading games using my credit card.  He denied it for ages and it was only until he realised that he would have been found out in the end that he confessed.  So who is to blame, the gaming industry or me for getting him all these game consoles in the first place?  What makes a child steal from their own parent??  Have I not brought him up with any values or is he is own person and will just turn out the way he chooses?  I always knew that he had problems but when did this all start has it gone beyond my ability to help?  I feel so confused at the moment I just don't know what to do next it feels like someone has just pulled the carpet out from under me and I am just falling. No matter how hard I try to understand what has happened I can't make any sense of it least of all how I am going to sort it all out.

Feel free to give any advice you see fit.

Thanks x

Have been booked for loads of work over the summer holidays at the libraries and I am totally exhausted.  We have also been away to Wales on a caravan holiday which was fun.  All I feel like doing at the moment is sleep.  What is it about the school holidays that messes up your body clock.  My friend has had her breast cancer operation and is just waiting for the results about whether it has spread or not, which she won't get till the children are back at school.  My computer broke as well and this is the new one we had to buy.  Just as well I've had plenty of work to pay for it, the worst part of it breaking was that fact that we thought we had lost all our photos, but a very good friend told me of a website that would help me access all my previous photos via my digital camera even though I had deleted them.  Please make sure you have backed up all your photos and documents I would hate it if anyone had to go through that if their computer broke. 

I hope you are all ok and I promise I will catch up with you.

Love Maria