Been working too much I am sooo exhausted I'm not sure I can manage another week.  I just keep thinking the money will come in handy to pay the bills and it will all be worth it in the end.  My work has asked me to do loads of hours because they have left themselves so short staffed they just can't cope.  Yet when I ask if I can increase my hours they still say "NO" I am not sure of my rights with regards to whether I can take it further if they won't increase my hours because they have told me they are not recruiting yet they have taken on 3 new members of staff. Also with all the extra hours I am working I am just getting paid standard rate and I am not sure if they have to give me holiday entitlement.  Employees rights, what a joke, we don't have any. 

Alex has been on his best behaviour since the incident on the 4.09.09 and he is still banned from playing any games but he seems to be coping with this.  Still not sure how long this will last but I am willing to wait and see. 

Not feeling great at the moment still having some depressive episodes not sure if it is due to working too many hours or just the onset of the possibility of winter.  My friend has had her op to remove her lymph nodes just waiting for the results of the bone scan.  My other best friend is emigrating to Canada and this will be our last Christmas together she is more than a friend to me she is almost like family so I am trying my hardest to learn to let her go.  She will have a lot to sort out over the next few months as she is planning to leave in July so I truly feel sorry for her and all the work she will have to do. 

That is it for now, hope you are all ok and will catch up with you when I get a moment to stop and relax.

Hi, a while back I mentioned that my friend had found a lump in her breast and it was breast cancer.  They have since operated and the lump was removed they also removed a lymph node from her armpit and were testing to see if it had cancer.  I spoke to her today and have bad news the lymph node has cancer and now she has to go back for another op to remove all the lymph nodes and then she has to have her bones x-rayed to make sure it hasn't spread to her bones.  Then will have chemo and radiotherapy.  Please,please pray your hardest that she will get better and that the cancer hasn't spread to her bones. 

The worst thing a parent can feel is when they feel a failure as a parent.  Well that is how I felt when I found out that my eldest had been downloading games using my credit card.  He denied it for ages and it was only until he realised that he would have been found out in the end that he confessed.  So who is to blame, the gaming industry or me for getting him all these game consoles in the first place?  What makes a child steal from their own parent??  Have I not brought him up with any values or is he is own person and will just turn out the way he chooses?  I always knew that he had problems but when did this all start has it gone beyond my ability to help?  I feel so confused at the moment I just don't know what to do next it feels like someone has just pulled the carpet out from under me and I am just falling. No matter how hard I try to understand what has happened I can't make any sense of it least of all how I am going to sort it all out.

Feel free to give any advice you see fit.

Thanks x

Have been booked for loads of work over the summer holidays at the libraries and I am totally exhausted.  We have also been away to Wales on a caravan holiday which was fun.  All I feel like doing at the moment is sleep.  What is it about the school holidays that messes up your body clock.  My friend has had her breast cancer operation and is just waiting for the results about whether it has spread or not, which she won't get till the children are back at school.  My computer broke as well and this is the new one we had to buy.  Just as well I've had plenty of work to pay for it, the worst part of it breaking was that fact that we thought we had lost all our photos, but a very good friend told me of a website that would help me access all my previous photos via my digital camera even though I had deleted them.  Please make sure you have backed up all your photos and documents I would hate it if anyone had to go through that if their computer broke. 

I hope you are all ok and I promise I will catch up with you.

Love Maria

I found out today that one of my friends has breast cancer.  It really takes such horrific news to put your whole life in perspective.  I feel so worried for her and wish I could take away the pain and worry she is feeling right now.  She is due to have the op soon and we won't know till after then how far it has spread. I really want to do something to help but all I feel like I can do is pray, it's ironic how I turn to religion when I can't find the answers to a problem.  If you believe help me to believe that everything will be ok.   She does'nt deserve this and neither do her kids.  Her boys love her so much because she is such a great mum and I know they will not be coping very well with the news. Life is so unfair and cruel. 

There is something that has really wound me up recently, I know the world is full of silly rules that sometimes we just don't question because they have been around for years.  Well recently my school has come up with this rule that if you child is ill on the first day that you ring up the school  then they have to be kept at home on the second day (regardless of whether they are perfectly well the next day) because they are still contagious.  Now I am a bit confused if my child is ill on day one but fine the next day will he no longer be contagious on day three?  I could understand if the school was angry with me for sending him in on day two and he was still visibily ill and I had to be called in to take him home then I could understand.  What planet are these schools on?  The common cold is the most contagious of illnesses so how does the school think that keeping my child at home for two days is going to stop the cold from spreading.  I am no medical professional but I would have thought that having had to nurse my children through illnesses for the last 13 years would give me some knowledge of how illnesses are spread.  But maybe I'm to stupid a mother to understand this two day rule, so could someone please explain it to me??

Finally finished my Teaching Assistant course just need to wait for the certificate and a job.  Trying not to let the constant rejection from my job applications get me down but I know they are a lot of people out there worse off than me who have lost their jobs and are finding it just as hard to find work in this horrible recession.  Still doing my casual work had a load of exam invigilation recently but that is almost over now and not getting many calls from the library to cover.  Not getting any work has been the cause of my depression before so if this carries on I think you'll find me in a dark room somewhere.  Sorry I haven't been around lately I haven't got any excuses for not keeping in touch.  Now I see why I don't have many friends, LOL! I hope you are all ok and thanks to those Minti members who have sent me emails it was really nice to see you haven't given up on me. Love you all xxxxxxxxx

Hello again can't believe I haven't blogged for sooo long.  I have been busy working on and off.  Last week was a bit of a minor nightmare, Daniel was ill and there was a lot of stuff going on that was making me feel stressed.  Anyway that is all over and done with now and I'm glad things are back to mundane and normal for now. 

Just wondering if anyone out there who has had experience with teenagers, how do you help a teenager to understand the complications of social interaction.  Sorry I probably don't make any sense but I'm pretty crap at dealing with problems concerning friendships etc.  I mean how do you explain to a child how to deal with a friend  that is being horrible or how to cope with rejection or how to cope with being alone or how to cope with feeling unattractive or depressed.  Not even I can cope with any of these myself so how am I supposed to offer him help.  

If any of you happen to be passing my way any suggestions will be gratefully received.  See you all later.  

Hi still working hard, too hard if you ask me, really need a break.  Anyway doing this from work, how cool and lazy and naughty is that!!  Please accept my apologies for any tags that have not been replied to I am rubbish at putting photos on here and music ones are a no-no as I don't own anything other than a car radio with which I listen to music on.

How are you all?? I need something to cheer me up all I ever do is listen to the news which makes me depressed.  I know I shouldn't but can't help it.  Hope everyone in Australia who I know is ok and I hope everyone here who has had to experience the snow haven't had any bad happen to them either. 

Anyway not long to go now till I finish at 7.15pm, what happened to the 5.00 finish

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED?
Yes 
2. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
Excited and nervous
3. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
25 years old
4. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
Pregnancy Test
5. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
The person who got me in that state, lol, the husband
6. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?
Not for my first I did for my second
7. DUE DATE?
Was due on 16th March but arrived early
8. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
Only once
9. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
Can't remember think it was spicy food or fish either way they are still my favourites.
10. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?
No one, I think. Can't remember it was too long ago and anything annoys me, lol.
11. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX?
Boy
12. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
No
13. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
Not many after my first but loads after my second in fact still trying to shift it.
14. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
No
15. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
What the baby shower or the baby?
16. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?
Only the fact that he had decided to wrap the umbilical cord around his neck and arrive 4 weeks early
17. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
In a hospital think it was called All Saints
18. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
None they tried to enduce me but then decided to give me an emergency cesarian
19. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?
I drove myself for my normal weekly check up and they made me stay
20. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Only the doctors and nurses because it was an emergency c-section they gave me a general so I didn't see anything and they wouldn't allow my husband in to watch either
21. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?
C-Section
22. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?
No didn't have any choice with a c-section
23. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?
4.5 pounds
24. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN?
28th February he missed the leap year by one day
25. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?
Alex
26. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY?
13.......Ahhhh! where has the time gone!

Thanks Arna I feel really old now, lol.