I do try really hard to think like that, but then I try to analyse myself to find out where I went wrong and generally after that it all gets confusing. I find that some people find it hard to forgive your mistakes even though they may be very minor, I always forgive and forget because we are all human, but I guess not everyone is like that.

I totally agree, we can't get on with everyone all of the time, but what upsets me is I wish we could, when I hear stories about suicides I always cry, because it reminds me of the loneliness I felt no so long ago.  I wish we could teach those children in the playground how to be more understanding, more kind, and more accepting of each other differences and learn to work, play and forgive each other. Now I sound like a preacher in church, lol.

Think I'll stick to your idea of "to know when to give a shit"

Totally agree, just wish I could stop feeling guilty everytime I say "no" like just recently a group of mums from school booked to go away for the weekend and asked me if I wanted to come (I did want to come) but I couldn't cause I work on a Saturday, and I have spent weeks worried that I may have lost them as friends, stupid I know, but I have got some seriously weird issues, lol.

Glad you got there, just need help to learn how to do it myself, lol.

Thanks xxxxxx

I love you Em you are what friends should be, you're always there for me, you have got such a loving, caring and forgiving nature and I feel so relaxed being your friend.  Thanks for always being there, love you loads xxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Pauline

You are such a great mum, think I'll adopt you as mine, hope Helen will be ok with that, lol.   Funny enough I always need other people to tell me how good I am and as a child I always tried my hardest to get praise I also did it when I started work and now there has been a lack of praise I can't cope without it anymore.  So that is something else that needs to be addressed.  But I'm so glad I have you all to help me out with this stuff, who needs councillors when I have my friends.

Love you loads xxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Annie

Yes you're right, rediscover myself sounds good, I have spent too much time fitting around everyone else, even when I was a kid I did it with my parents, always doing what they wanted.  Where do I start, hope I don't discover anything I don't like, LOL.

Love ya xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Helen

You are so right, but it's learning to love myself that I need to learn again.  I think when I worked, more hours than I do now, it gave me self worth, I felt useful, but I've lost that along the way and it's trying to find that again that is doing my head in.   I think I'm getting there with the help of the kids at school they give me all the self worth I want even if it is only one day a week, lol.

I hate getting things wrong and can really beat myself if I make a mistake and that's another thing I need to stop doing too.   I will give you a ring, I'm just so scared that you won't like me when you hear me talk, that I'll lose you, silly I know, but then you understand me better than anyone.

Love you loads xxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Winnie

OMG you summed me up well, think I've given away too much, lol.  Being positive about myself is difficult, but I will give it a go, I can be strong and caring for others and will do almost anything for anyone (but then again I think that comes down to wanting to be liked) being strong for myself well I'm still trying.  I found the school playground and interesting learning experience and saw a lot of myself in the children you would always get some coming to you looking sad because they were on their own and couldn't find someone to play with and it felt like me but I made sure they found a friend even if it didn't last long, lol.  We can be strange creatures sometimes LOL.

Love you loads xxxxxxxxxx