Thanks Helen

My paranoia is my biggest downfall, I do worry what other people think and I have to stop doing that.  OMG where do I start, I only have to be in the school playground and if someone doesn't say hello my brain starts working overtime

Worrying is another issue, I wish I could be more carefree but I have always been anxious even as a child and I see it in my eldest every day, he is so much like me and all I do is get annoyed because I don't want him to be anxious like me but I don't know how to help myself least of all be able to help him.

I will try and change these aspects of my character but it is sooo HARD!!!  I can be sooo strong for others but not for myself, lol.  I have started with your list not sure if I can handle my reflection though, lol.

Love you loads have I already told you, you are my inspiration. 

I empathise with you totally because i have walked the same road as you!!!!!!! I still get flashes of paranoia but have had to learn to work through it. People like us can't help but question why wouldn't ----- want to talk to us

You WILL get through this Maria, I did and it was thanks to my friends like you so know its time for me to pay you back !!!!

xxx

Thanks

I haven't mucked up today, so far so good, my mindset seems to feeling a little more positive today so as long as no one throws a spanner in the works I'll be fine, lol.

I'll give that book a read later thanks for recommending it.

Love Maria xxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Lui

My confidence levels are at an all time low at the moment. I feel that I need to be achieving to feel good about myself and because everything I try to do recently just doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere it's making me feel depressed. 

Don't worry I'm feeling a bit better today my mood swings are a bit like the stock market with it's ups and downs, lol.

You guys are soooo good for me you always help me get back on my feet again, don't know where I would be without you.

Love you Maria  xxxxxxxxxxx

Well, I would think that communicating with the outside world is a worthwhile achievement, and it takes a lot of guts!  So you can cross that off your list of things you do well for starters.

I also think that making other people feel good is a very worthy attribute, and you can add me to the list of people you made smile today.

Can you see how much better the world is because you are in it?  Imagine what your family would be like without you?  It just doesn't bear thinking about does it?

Have a lovely weekend Maria, and take little steps on the ladder, and hang on tight.  It doesn't matter how fast you move ahead, it is moving at all that counts the most, Lotsa love and even a hug!  Lui xox

Thanks Em

You are such a beautiful person and I love you soooo much MWAH

I'll be ok sweetpea just going through a rough patch, not giving up yet, lol.

Love ya xxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Izzy

I could never be a loner I would never survive I crave human contact and conversation. This is why Minti is such a life line for me because when I am sad I normally find it difficult to talk to someone about it so blogging is a good way of getting it out and it's always such a beautiful surprise to find out that soooo many people care.

It's only when I'm very low that I start to question my existence but I love my family very much and would never do anything to hurt them it is just a process I go through when I'm depressed but I always know in the back of my mind it is not me and I will get through it.

Love you loads Maria xxxxxxx

Thanks Marg

My gut instinct is rubbish, I tend to like to call it paranioa because it's so rubbish.  I always seem to get things wrong either say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing I have only one true friend that puts up with me and I treasure her like gold dust.   Even at the school I'm starting to worry if I'm doing it right because it feels like I keep getting things wrong.  Like going to the staff room for my cup of tea instead of the parents room and telling the children they can do things when they can't ( I DIDN'T KNOW)  Help I think I'm going insane

xxxxxxxx

Hey!!! You are not counting us!!!  The us that are here for you.  I like to think you count some of us as friends too! :)  Haaa,haaa dear Lady you ARE too hard on that lovely Maria. People who are always right and always prefect are so not interesting!  Come on, life is not that serious that you have to preform at top pitch all the time. If any of us needed you you would be there and that counts more than any thing.  Besides insane is all in how you see it and you are sooooo not insane at all!

Sorry Marg I didn't mean to forget all my friends on Minti I'm just feeling really low at the moment think I'm slowly picking myself up again, I made some balloon animals for my youngest with some help from the internet and he loved them, he makes me feel so special it the kind of special I need to learn to feel for myself, but just recently with all the rejections from my job applications and feeling like I'm getting nowhere fast it's just had a knock of my very small confidence, lol.

I love you Marg for always being there for me xxxxx

Thanks Pauline

I know your right and my councillor tells me I have to stop doing this. There is also another saying "Don't worry, be happy" or was it part of a song, lol.

But I can't stop being worried, the cost of fuel is rising, the cost of food is rising, companies are making cuts because we are all not spending and I can't find work

I think even if I had a crystal ball that could see into the future I would still worry, LOL.