My boyfreind of two years almost,has made the biggest descision of our lives he is going away indefinately to look after his ailing mum.Im sick at the prospect of being alone and wish things were different.That his mother would move closer, that he could give all of himself to our family. The unfortunate thing is that the whole of him has never been here with us,part of his heart and mind is still in our old town with his mother and wishing he could be more.Paul and i love each other so much but there just isnt enough love to keep us both going .We are on different pages of life....i want marriage ,he doesnt know when he wants it or if he ever will, i want a baby and although he said yes to me,it never was a high priority really but he did it for me. There is a saying that goes "if you love someone set them free" and i am setting paul free so he can care for his mother till the end and not have to worry about me, my children or our future plans.Im sad and worried but i shed no tears and i wish i could,if i could then maybe it would be cleansing.He is so emotional and i know that one of us has to be strong enough to cope till the week ends and he can leave.Why is life so hard ,why is there so many thoughts in my head....please god keep paul safe and keep me in your thoughts,cause i may be strong on the outside but im crying many tears on the inside...