Well its that time of the year when my children are off for a week with their daddy and I get to have a week doing mummy things,With my boyfriend too.We have just spent the morning having a coffee and danish at Gloria Jeans.It was so nice to just sit backand enjoy a whole cup of coffee without having to chug it down and race out the door with half a piece of toast in my mouth.Then from our coffee experience we went to the Warners Bay foreshore to check out the goings on there,strolling along arm in arm watching the water and waves.We went to a few craft shops,i picked up some sequins and foam shapes as im going to make baubles for the xmas tree this year.After our leisurely stroll we went to one of our biggest shopping centres and looked at jewellery,books and furniture in a huge myers.It was so wonderful.It was about 1pm and we thought some lunch might be nice so after a battle in our heads about spending a heap on lunch and not worrying about the consequences or go somewhere cheaper like maccas(Which we always have to go to because of the kids) we picked a place called Martine's ,a pasta and salad place absolutely magnificant food we could not have been happier with the service and quality.So all in all we had a wonderful half day.......but the funs still on as we came home for a rest and a recouperate first but are going out again for ice cream and a beach stroll can't wait.Well ill give you more info later......

Hi im very nervous about the whole session with the cousellor thing but its very over due and i think it will be a help.I found one thats close by and i can walk there if i chose.I started writing in a diary a bit and it did helpbut i thought too much and well now its all coming out of me like a water spout.all my feelings ,all those thoughts on stuff i had no idea was still lurking in my brain.I have so much that has yet to be dealt with that i start to move forward just a few steps but before long i am going back three.Well im pleased its going to happen anyway. I just found out a freind from playgroup is leaving town on sunday and that has upset me ,she is so fun and friendly and with very few friends already i will be one down.She has to go live with her mum for a while due to save for a house for her and her daughter.Im going to buy her a huge bunch of flowers and maybe a nice novel for her trip. well thats all from me melxxxx

I just want to firstly say how much i have appreciated all your kind thoughts and wonderful words of love and encouragement,thank you from the bottom of my heart.After a long night with many tears,crying and soal searching.We have made another choice.....Paul will go and see his mum once a month and with the help of other family members an freinds his mum will get all the help she really needs. Pauls mother herself said she did not want to take him away from his new found love and the children he adores.She just cant do it. We went over many scenarios,He and i are also going to couples councilling in a hope to get our feeling better understood and have someone guide us through our thoughts together.We will get there more than anything i am so glad that we can stay together and try and make it ......because a true love is hard to find but we just have differing opinions on the importance of some things as compared with others..Thank you again you have really given me faith that you can still find kindness in strangers. MUCH LOVE MELXXXX

My boyfreind of two years almost,has made the biggest descision of our lives he is going away indefinately to look after his ailing mum.Im sick at the prospect of being alone and wish things were different.That his mother would move closer, that he could give all of himself to our family. The unfortunate thing is that the whole of him has never been here with us,part of his heart and mind is still in our old town with his mother and wishing he could be more.Paul and i love each other so much but there just isnt enough love to keep us both going .We are on different pages of life....i want marriage ,he doesnt know when he wants it or if he ever will, i want a baby and although he said yes to me,it never was a high priority really but he did it for me. There is a saying that goes "if you love someone set them free" and i am setting paul free so he can care for his mother till the end and not have to worry about me, my children or our future plans.Im sad and worried but i shed no tears and i wish i could,if i could then maybe it would be cleansing.He is so emotional and i know that one of us has to be strong enough to cope till the week ends and he can leave.Why is life so hard ,why is there so many thoughts in my head....please god keep paul safe and keep me in your thoughts,cause i may be strong on the outside but im crying many tears on the inside...

Although i was not heavily into sport,i was still stunned to hear about Peter Brock too had passed, why dont they just crush the heart of all our young sons some more and have Harry Potter die too. Im sorry its a terrible thing to say. But its very sad. Watching Better Homes and Gardens tonight ,showing a special on Steve Irwin i did shed a tear when i saw him playing with that cute little son of his Bob.Thats when i feel the saddest children who have lost the light of their life and i see Steve and Brock like that just loving dads. I had a wonderful day at playgroup and enjoyed making a new friend,i took her out for coffee and we talked about our day. It was really nice to do something simple. I really think you can derive great pleasure from simple acts of kindness.Shouting friends a coffee,giving them a hand with their house work,advice with partners and minding their child or children as the case may be. Just a small act of kindness everyday will brighten your day more than money anytime...

I was only a little bit sad to hear about steve irwin, but i was much more sadder to hearabout princess diana. she was the lovely ,kind,sweet and giving lady that we all could be or aspire to be.I just felt like asking .....whom is the famous person you would be most shocked to hear has passed.I do not have to think at all i always knew if Neil Diamond died i would be soooo ddevistated.Ive grown up with his songs blaring in dads car,playing on the office radio and in relatives houses too. i know im only 32 but it swear i would faint in the street. Anyway thats me dribbling on.

well im so happy today the results of my test are in, i do not carry the gene for cystic fribrosis.Its reslly great,i do not have to get my boyfriend tested nor my children and im free to become pregnant. with this weight off my shoulders i feel free.I do still feel sorry for my sister and father,nephews.My father only finding out he carried the defective gene after Joshua was born,my nephews who have a great chance of being carriers because my sister is and will need to test prospective partners for their peace of mind too. But i wont hide the joy that i feel to know that i can start a new day with my plans able to continue. I also just want to comment on the death of steve irwin, feeling saddend but also guilty as I always thought Steve was a bit goofy. thw weird words he would come out with and the "CRIKEY" catch phraze we all knew him for,but more than an icon and crocodile hunter...he was a dedicated father, loving husband and a son to australia Im taking this opportunity to tell of the personi most admire...its my pop.He suffered hard ships in his life,poverty,sickness,unemplyment and deafness.Through all this he found the love of poetry which i inhereted a love for. He gave all he could and showed all us grandkids love and affection always.even though he sometimes had trouble hearing us we showed our love with smiles and hugs.Why not hug someone you love today.

I have to get my cf tests,Ive got to ring up and see wether i carry this gene which may or may not crush my thoughts for a baby.And even bigger though if i carry it im going to have to get the kids tested then.Before I wanted a new addition having the kids tested wasnt an issue but really knowing my dad is a carrier meant i possibly could be,so then in turn i should have thought ill have the kids tested before they get to babay bearing age themselves.I feel very worried about the results and fear tellingmy children they will have to be tested.They know about it all they see joshua(the nephew that has cystic fibrosis) so it wont be new info to them although its never really been them that had to deal....but now!!! Anyway thats my entry today.hope everybody is doing well.Thankyou to my new freind chele..your a god send girl.

Hello all my minti freinds,im real bored today . The children have gone with their father to gosford,my boyfreind is visiting his mum up the coast and im home alone sooking. So id like to get some ideas from minti mummies and daddies,im trying for a 5th bub, dont yell its all good ive thought about it and im doing it .Anywho im really annoyed by my mum and aunty and my boyfreind too, a bit as the names i like (although hes not here i am thinking of this,im sure others have got in this early too.) are not too popular,they are Callum, Tristan, jeffrey, Justin, Christian ,brayden,liam and Noel.They are the boys and girls ive chosen Allyson, Leona ,Mary-ann ,Kerri-ann and lynette. So i see them as ok names some of them will even go well together.But im mad on callum but its not getting a good response. When i pick names i try and rhyme things with it to see wether it will in fact cause any heartache(As i was a very teased child...smelly melly kelly my whole life through) My name was melanie kelly back then.Then when school mates found out my middle name well they really went for it.hazel was the name..so it was "hey hazel hawk" or "there goes bobs wife" or " Nutty as a fruitcake.". i guess this is boring you to tears but it sure had me in tears everyday.I spent everyday of my schooling years afraid,crying and lonely.So im fearing naming my children anything that will cause them years of heartache.Adrian,Megan ,Rhyannon and Vivienne can not be rhyming teased ive tried. Appart from some kid calling my daughter "MUSHROOM JOHN" when i gave her a bob hair cut theyve been free of the bad side of those kind of remarks that you do not soon forget.I wont bore you with the story of the names i had after my mother home permed my hair.....oh boy!!