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Talking Member » mom2jedd » Blog » This Vent May Get LONG.....

02
Jun

This Vent May Get LONG.....

Comment Published at 09:5009:5021 comments21 comments43 Visits43 VisitsReport
Let me just start by saying that I am soo tired of being the MOther of the child that NOONE wants to watch in our church nursery.

I have endured many not nice very mean comments form people who think they know better than ANY dr.

The meanest one I have been told was....If you just didn't use that feeding tube anymore Jedd would get hungry enough to eat....YEAH, right....If I didn't use that feeding tube (when he was 100% tube fed) we would have all attend a funeral!!!!!!!!!

They all think I'm half looney.....

So I arrive at choir practice last night, after rushing out the door, changing a stinky bottom earlier than I woudl have liked to after a feed., Which cause a HUGE vomit which lead to need a last minute bath....see how frustrated I was by the time I arrived at church....

Only to be told. I don't know how Jedd is going to act, I've never watched him in the nursery before.....

I was kinda mad to say the least....So I said FINE I'll take him and not be in choir again. And stormed out in a mess of tears.

Just once, really just ONCE I would like another Mother to spend 24 hours with me and see the HE!! I live in every day. They are all wrapped up in their perfect world. Where all their children sit up early talk eary walk early eat anything you put in front of them and NEVER get sick or have surgeries.....

SEE I told you this could get LONG.....

I bet NEVER have they had a child knock the spoon out of your hand to the floor, kick at it when you tried to pick it up, throw their hands in fornt of their face, clamp their mouth shut, shake their head back and forth, turn around in the high chair, which now has no straps on it becasue he kept playing with those instead of eating.....all in an effort NOT to eat the very nurishment their little body so desparetly needs to grow. Oh and vomit at least once, which  you must RE-FEED new food so he will GROW!!!!

I bet they have never needed an apptointment calendar book to keep track of ALL of their child's numerous dr. vistis, clinic visits, test, surgeries, and therapy visits.....

There are some days well let me be honest there are many days that I pray and wish that I did not live in this world. But I lOVE my son...so.....

Everyday I get up and do it all over again.....EVERYDAY without fail because that's what he needs.

I guess God just thought I was stronger than all those other Mothers...it's just that lately, I really feel like I am not.....

Can you tell that I am more than a litte STRESSED.

Jedd was doing soo well eating before surgery and now he may have to go through it all again. The feeding clinic is NOT going to want to put in their program until ALL his surgeries are done.

So now I have to wait to get the help I soo desparetly need.

They won't know until 6 months post op if he needs to have his hypospadias re-repaired. She is really talking aobut taking out as least some of the scar tissue that has fomred. It's too large.

Well I guess my vent really needs to end...LOL It's just that I have endured over 19 months of rude comment form my fellow Mothers at church. I think what bothers me the most aobutthis is...that is THE #1 place where I should feel the most comfortable and recieve the most compassion and yet...there is none to spare.

I guess I have learned to have MORE than enough compassion for other who go through this...because of what we have gone through.

So here I go, it's time to feed Jedd again....so I must go and struggle to get him to eat something and keep it down. He desaprtely needs to keep this feed down. I ahve a therapist coming at 2:30 and I need him to get his 2 hour nap before she gets here so I don't have time to re-feed him if he vomits.

*sigh*

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Comments

llmunchkin
June 20th | llmunchkin
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

It seems that some people believe that being a good Christian person is just going to church and going through the motions... Charity comes from opening your heart and mind to others, accepting them, and helping them.  You are a true angel to Jedd, and a wonderful amazingly strong woman.  By not helping you, and getting to know you both better, they are missing out on two very special people. xox



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cathbusymum
June 3rd | cathbusymum
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

It amazes me how so called christians can act like that! Maybe you could have a chat to your pastor. Not all churches are the same and certainly not all christians.

Your doing an amazing job.I don't know the full story but from what I do know, you deserve an award for mother of the year!!



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      mom2jedd
June 3rd | mom2jedd
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

I've talked to him 3 times and have gotten  nowhere...:(

He always wants me just to go and talk to the other Mother and try to settle things with her...:(

Thank you for the encouranging words.



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Lynd
June 2nd | Lynd
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

How unbelievably rude and disrespectful!I have a disability so know how ignorant people can be but you'd think your church group would know better.

Hold your head high and know your a wonderful mother.I don't know Jedd's full story but i'm sure he loves you and appreciates your love and care  even if he may not be able to voice it.Remember that.

xx



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      mom2jedd
June 3rd | mom2jedd
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

I nkow one day Jedd will be able to fully understand and appreciate all thethinngs I have done for him...Thansk for the reminder...HUGS



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Domestic-warrior
June 2nd | Domestic-warrior
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

That's so distressing to read, i can't imagine why they wouldn't support you.  I know i wouldn't be going back to that Church!  You are going through a tough time right now and vent all you like, i'm sure it helps to get it off your chest!!

Hope all goes well at the doctors today.

Julie



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      mom2jedd
June 3rd | mom2jedd
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

It really did  hlep to get it off of my chest that's fo rsure!!! Just typing it out was giving me a great release...YAY!!!



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ajv00
June 2nd | ajv00
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

Wow, you are one strong person to go through this, vent away I know it helps. 

How dare those mothers say that to you...  they have no idea what you go through every day.  If I could help you out even for just a couple of hours so you could have some "you" time then I would gladly do it.

Keep your chin up - Angie



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      mom2jedd
June 3rd | mom2jedd
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

Thanks, you know, Jedd is almost 20 months old and I have only been out once without him or DH....it's such astruggle becasue only DH and I do soo well with him. And even then I have to make sure all his meals for the day are done. Because I am the primary feeder. Jedd will only eat well from me. UGH....

I am planning to go out again though, I need it badly.



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cazza
June 2nd | cazza
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

Vent Away and how rude of the carers at that church not to give Jedd the time of the day... You would think they would show more compassion..

Wish i lived close by to you as i would help, as i wont say no to any child that needs to be cared for....

hope it all improves soon for you...

xx  cazza



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      mom2jedd
June 2nd | mom2jedd
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

Thanks for the thoughts....That is the #1 thing I have learned. I have soo soo much  more compassion for others now than I ever had before.

 



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natelz1
June 2nd | natelz1
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

aw huny, im so sorry, it makes me mad that these people havent been there for you, perhaps a chnage in church is neccersery,  a chat to your pastor about doing a sermon on being compassionate people?? i wish i could help you out.  i pary you find the support you need xxxxxx



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      mom2jedd
June 2nd | mom2jedd
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

I have spoken to him on 3 different occasions to no avail...  He just wants me to speak in private to those who I have had issues with...:(

I do have my sister and parents nearby though, so they are willing to try and help.



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emmie
June 2nd | emmie
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

vent as much as you like . You poor thing you would think that would be the 1 place u could go for help and i am so sorry they have let you down i so hope things really pick up for you soon . Hugs to you . xxx



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      mom2jedd
June 2nd | mom2jedd
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

Thanks for the HUGS....I really needed them today. I think I am just getting worn down with dealing with others who don't understand. KWIM???



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superpo
June 2nd | superpo
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

Wow! I'm afraid I don't know Jedd's whole story, but all I can say is, those other mothers need to listen to a sermon on compassion! How awful for you! And how awful for Jedd! It sounds like he's had a pretty tough time so far in his young life! You'd think people would try to show a little more understanding for the two of you. I hope things get better for you soon, and that maybe you can find at least one person who would make that little bit of extra effort to help you and Jedd out.



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      mom2jedd
June 2nd | mom2jedd
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

Thank  you for understanding. Jedd has been through more than most adults go through in a life time, or least more than I have gone through.

 



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nell18-3
June 2nd | nell18-3
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

Hope this vent helped you !!!!

People can be so ignorant sometimes and make the most ridiculous of statements. After my ex almost succeeded in killing me, I had people at church telling me I had to forgive him and I had churches praying I would take him back !!!!!

The church should be supporting you, comforting you and aiding you, presumably the church also made a commitment to Jed ?????? My prayer for you would be that someone sees things through your eyes and is able to be the support in the church that you deserve. You are not asking too much at all.

xxx

 



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      mom2jedd
June 2nd | mom2jedd
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

The vent really DID help...LOL

I understand forgiveness, but taking someone back who did that...NO way....HUGS to you and all you had to endure.

 



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MrsSanders
June 2nd | MrsSanders
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

Crumbs girl, you vent away, sounds to me as if you really deserve to have a full flood vent, and some. Funny though how those Ladies at church dont feel secure enough in their own parenting skills to keep two eyes and an ear or two on one little boy, says alot about their perfect lives to me. I mean how hard can it be with Mum just next door? I feel for you. No it cant be easy by a long chalk, but from what I read, you do an amazing job in caring for your cute little bundle of joy and frustration and one day, yep one day you will see the rewards in all your hard work, I am postitive in that, and am sending you a few cyber vibes and best wishes to help you through tomorrow and the next day and so on. Best wishes to you and yours.

Luv Winnie.xxxx



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      mom2jedd
June 2nd | mom2jedd
Re: This Vent May Get LONG.....

That is a great point about them being insecure in the skills. I have def. developed some GREAT care giving skills for ANY child...LOL

HUGS



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