as i have said in last blog, i have been really sick for two weeks and couldnt eat etc had  bad fevers,migraines,spewing etc etc. so now i look and feel very weak still and baby is size 29 weeks instead of 32 weeks. not very good. im trying real hard to eat but its really hard to eat at moment! after two weeks of eattin one toast every two days etc has made my tummy grow smaller. i have lost alot of weight as well and have very hard trouble sleeping. so hopefully everything gets better!!!

I have been having trouble sleeping! so much so that im dreading to go to bed and it starts scarring me, i think im starting to get anxiety attacts cause i will fall asleep and then wake up and cant get to sleep and then i start panicking and i cant breath properly, cant stay still, its so fusterating! i will force myself to lie down but as soon as im just about to realax i get real hot all of a sudden and then adrenlion starts pumpin through! im so just wanting a good night sleep!!!!! i have been sick the last two weeks and my family hav been away so it was very challenging as i looked after myself plus dylan. im very glad and happy that my mum is home from her holiday and finally home. just having the security of having them home has made me feel way better! im going to have a glass of milk before bed and try relax and read a book or something tonight and see how it goes. lol dont get me started on what i think of labour! i had a big panic attack last week over labour and didnt sleep at all making the next day me vomitting etc. so not thinking of labour or baby at moment. dylan is growin up so fast and he is so beautiful i love him soooo much

i know i shouldnt be acting like this but i cant stand being this big.. i think its down to my ex who is in my life still, he hangs around so many skinny chicks and then heres me wiv a huge belly.. all i look forward to is to just get my body back so i feel hot again lol. i guesse i feel treated big and it sucks... maybe its my hormones goin off, i only got 11 weeks to go so maybe its that, hope no one is offended by me feelin depressed and fat.. but i do.. 

Lol this pregnancy is certinally harder than when i was pregnant to dylan! im much bigger and its alot harder and sorer this time round! but right now I have got funny habbits, like I cant stand not eatting at the table without it being set and knowing that all food is prepared and finished with plates ready! im also got into decorating my room so now im cutting out stars and flowers from paper, placing glitter on them and hopefully hangin them on the roof. but man, im soo exhausted everyday now just my body is getting exhausted and I cant handle things like visitors around at night as it iratates me even if they are not my friends but my families.. lol. with dylan at 6 months I just started showing but now i am the size of when i was 8 months pregnant! I cant walk as much as well, as it hurts and im always getting braxton hicks!! they are so uncomfortable!

dylan is beautiful and a lil sick wiv a cold but other than that i love him to pieces! i bought him a big easter egg today hehehe i love spoiling him and im kinda afraid that when baby comes i wont be their as much as I am now im so worried! i really want him to know that he is the sunshine in my life and nothing and no one will replace that, i just hope this baby wont take what me and my son have...

anyways im tired as! and goin to hop into bed and cut out stars lol hope everyone has a good night and day! oh and happy easter everyone!

xo