Well it's about time I got this up......LOL  We've just been so busy with family and of course soaking up the beach life that I haven't been on here for longer than a few minutes at a time.

I can't tell you how happy and relaxed I am to be home.....not to mention tanned.....LOL

Soooo......Luke's birthday was Wednesday and it was such a great day. I spent Tuesday night decorating my Mum's house in balloons, streamers and a Happy Birthday banner. It was very sad to know that it was my babies last day of being 3. Luke woke up at 5:25am on Wednesday morning telling me it was his birthday and that I had to come and see the party.....lol. So Nick and I drag ourselves out of bed to come to the party........Luke was just so excited to see the decorations and was just running around the house kicking the balloons everywhere....

He the opened his pressies from us and from my Mum and had his favourite breaky of croissants and strawberry milk.

We eventually got ourselves ready and went to the in-laws where he got very spoilt. My MIL cooked Luke a chocky cake and we sung happy birthday and the Luke ate most of the cake on his own....LOL

I then cooked him his favourite dinner of Burritos and yet another chocky cake.....LOL. We're having a family BBQ tomorrow down the beach with all family which I can't wait for. So I'm sure there will be more pics to come.

I hope the holiday's are being good to you all (for those who are on holiday's)

Amanda xxxx

Early tomorrow morning we're heading off on our much anticipated trip home to Coffs Harbour. I have to say I felt this day would never come. It been a really tough time for me lately with family stuff and personal stuff and it's so much harder going through it all when all your family is 600kms away. I'm very close to my Mum and I miss her terribly. We haven't been home since January and it feels like a life time ago. My Mum's getting excited too, we speak a lot on the phone but she's rung so many time in the past 3 days just to literaly say hi and hang up......she's beside herself with excitement.

We're going to try and leave by 4am and so we'll be in Coffs by midday and I'll surprise Mum at work, she doesn't think we'll get there until evening time

It's a funny feeling that comes over me once we hit about Bellingen (30 mins out) and then we get to Coffs and drive up the hill past the Big Windmill and I suddenly feel like I'm home and I'm ME again. the air is different, the atmosphere is different and the people are different. I just can't wait. I have a new family member to meet, which will be very emotional but exciting.

We will be catching with my extended family of course........Janice and Steve, whom I adore and can't wait to catch up with again. There will be a naming ceremony also for the new tractor, which is Luke's job.....LOL We miss Thomas but I'm sure this new one will be just as special. Oh and Janice make sure there's space on your windows for Luke......LOL I'll make sure I bring some bourbons too. See you soon!!!!

Luke had his Pre-school birthday party today as it's not his birthday till next week but he had to ahve one with his friend's before we went away. He'll have another party in Coffs with all the family too down the beach.  I picked out one photo as the other's had all the other kid's in them.

I just thought I'd put up some pics of my baby who is going to be 4 next week

This was yesterday and his fav thing to do is to play in the mud.....LOL

I blogged back in June about the daughter of a friend of mine who had a serious eye injury due to a stick getting stuck in it. Well she's having her surgery tomorrow to remove the last of the stiches, to remove the cataracts and to replace the lense over her eye. She is completely blind in the eye but hopefully after tomorrow there will be an improvement. She wasn't due to have the operation until January but half of the stitches have come loose and had to be taken out already which was very painful and distressing for her. She has been so amazing though and has not complained once and has not let it get her down, she is still her same old cheeky self and hasn't let it stop her doing anything. She actually very excited about tomorrow and can't wait to see again, I just hope she gets her wish!!!!! 

So please keep her in your thoughts and send all your positive vibes and prayers her way. She is just so beautiful and precious and deserves to have her wish come true.

Much love to all, 

Amanda xxxx 

My beautiful Niece, Kayla Grace.

It's not what you think, well not really!!!

Nick worked night shift last night and got home at 8am this morning, he dropped the boys and I off at Pre-school as it's photo week and I got a photo of the boys together and then I had to get mine taken as part of the staff. So I stuck around for a bit and chatted and eventually Zak and I walked home, I was talking to Fi on the way home and once we got home and walked in the door I checked to see where Nick was as he was coming home to bed. He wasn't in bed, not in the loo, not out the back..........I thought to myself "where could he be?" I said to Fi that I couldn't find Nick, I then checked to see if the car was here and it was......and the I saw him.......ROTFL. I said to fi......guess where Nick is, she said where, I said asleep in the car.....She said "are you serious" I really don't think she believed me!! PMSL. I ran to get the camera and rushed down the front verandah but he had the window up and the picture didn't work.....damn it!!!!  Luckily the brake was on and the car was stopped.

So there was Zak, Fi and I laughing ourselves silly while Nick really had no idea what was going on. He did have a laugh about it later though.

xxxx

My SIL had her baby today. Kayla Grace was born at 5:30pm and weighs 8 pounds. She's my brother and SIL's 3rd child. My SIL had been having contractions for the past 2 weeks and her waters started breaking on friday, the doctor kept a close eye on her but wanted to wait till today when her doctor was back on duty. The drip was put in at about 11 this morning and things got pretty full on at about 2 and then 3 1/2 hours later she was born. There wasn't even enough time for my SIL to have the water birth she was wanting so badly........oh well......the outcome is what matters, already they are talking of their next one!!!!!! I just can't wait to see what she looks like and to hold her......not long now though.....how long is it now Janice???? LOL

I've had kind mixed emotions of joy and sadness......it's kinda weird because even for the births of my other niece and nephews and I never felt this overwhelming need to be there and to hold the baby......but for some reason I do with this one............I'll just be sitting here and find myself crying and not even realise it.

Welcome to the family Kayla Grace.....I can't wait to meet you!!!!!

There isn't a word for how exhausted I am. I worked all week last week and really long hours,  monday I started at 7:30am till 3:30, tuesday 8:30 till 4:30 thursday 9 till 5 plus ontop of that I did the cleaning job everyday which is an extra 2 hours after work because our cleaner is on holidays. Last night I wasn't feeling too well, I layed down to sleep at 7pm and didn't wake up until 9am this morning...........and I'm still buggard. I've never been this totally exhausted in my life. I feel like a zombie. I honestly never thought the weekend would ever get here and now it is, it's nearly over!

I've tried commenting on Minti today becasue I've hardly been on all week and I've been trying to write this blog for a while now but I'll type a few words and then find myself staring off into space...... and have no idea what I'm doing.

I do however want to thank those that commented on my last blog.......it was wonderful to come on today and read all your lovely words of support. It was a really tough few days for me but I'm finally starting to move on and I've decided not to think about it anymore and to just try and enjoy the wonderful gifts I already have and if someone decides that I should have another, then so be it but I can't live my life waiting for something that is going to make me fall apart every month. It will happen if and when it's the right time and not before. So no more looking at the calender for me!!!

I love you all like sleep.......which will be in 1 hour and 20 mins.....hopefully!!!!!

Ya know, I thought that by not making it "public" that we're trying for another baby that the heartache and disappointment wouldn't be as bad...........boy was I wrong!!!!!! This month has been the worst so far, I get my hopes up when I start to feel nauseas or tired, I wait and watch everytime I go to the loo.........I really got my hopes up this time, I just want it so badly now and it seems to be so elusive. It then brings up feelings that I know I don't help and I know I'm only punishing myself but I can't help it. I know what I have to do.......I have to stop thinking about it and I have to stop "trying" and just let it be. But that's so much easier said then done.

I just started crying this afternoon and Nick just came up gave me a cuddle and said "hey babe, don't worry, It'll happen". He's just amazing and I love with with all of my being and I'm just so lucky to have him. It blows me away that someone can love me as much as he does.

xxxxx

Today was my very first child free day in.....I can't remember when....maybe 3 months, as I've been working so much. I've loved the work and the money, I mean who wouldn't, but I've missed having time to myself too. But I'm now sitting here looking at him play with Zak and I've just missed him so much. Luke and I ar together all the time whether we're at home or work and today although was great, it was a bit sad too. While I'm sitting on the lounge typing this Luke has gone to his room and grabbed his Thomas blanket and dragged it out here and asked for cuddles.......awwwwww He said he missed me today......

Luke's just been so cute and sweet lately and I'm enjoying it so much. The other night while putting him to bed I was laughing and joking withhim and then all of a sudden he says "oh hurry up and kiss me already"......well I lost it, I couldn't stop laughing.

I just love my boys!!!!!!!!