Well I'm having a pretty rough time lately. As I said in my last blog, my Mum found out she had cervical cancer and 2 weeks ago she came down to Sydney to have some scans and test done to see just how bad it was and what they could do. They told us that it would either be a radical hysterectamy or radiotherapy. The night before my Mum went to get the results we had a phone call from my aunty in Coffs to say that my Nan had passed away. It was a complete shock to us all, we were devastated. Then the next day my Mum went to get her results, they were much worse than we all expected even the doctors......It had spread to all her lymph nodes......It's terminal. They willchemo to slow it but it would eventually not be enough. I can tell you that the world just opened up and swallowed me whole right there. I just kept shaking my head and and all my Mum and I could do was just hold on tight to each other. I just can't seem to accept that I'm going to lose my Mum before she grows old and grey. I look at my kids and wonder if she'll see them grow up and get married and have kids. My Mum is everything to me and it kills me to be so far away from her.

Next month we're off to Broken Hill to live as a means to get back home to Coffs Harbour, it's the only way the Police Force to transfers, we have to do a 3+ yr stint in an outback town first then they will let us go where we want.they do offer compasionate transfer but that's only on a short term basis but I have that as a backup if we need it.

I just can't believe all this is happening..............

I can't believe it's been so long since I blogged.....but then I am pretty busy so I guess you'll all have to forgive me .   The girl's are now 16 weeks old and doing amazingly, they are such good babies and are just happy all the time.....I'm so very blessed with my gorgeous angels.

No matter how bad things get I just have to look at their smiling faces and and suddenly everything seems ok. We're going through some pretty tough things at the moment with my Mum who has just been diagnosed with cervical cancer and it's just about breaking my heart.......my Mum is my world, she is my best friend. I was there when the doctor told her and it was like my world suddenly came crashing down. So things are pretty hard at the moment. She's coming down to Sydney tomorrow to see specialists and as she'll be staying with us and we'll be seeing her in hospital I had to tell the boys so that was hard....Zak got pretty upset which was hard for me to watch.

Minti won't let me upload pics normally so I had to share my girls with you in my blog........Kyra is on the left and Ella on the right.

Just a very quick blog to let you all know that beautiful little angels are finally here. On Thursday 9th July 2009 Ella Grace was born at 3:46pm and Kyra Ann was born at 4:01pm. It was a very quick and easy delivery although Kyra (twin b) was breach and came out very purple needing oxygen and even though it was the scariest few seconds of my life she's doing marvelously now. Both my girls just take my breath away and I still can hardly believe I did it. I just sit and stare at them and get lost in them completely. Zak and Luke are completely smitten and love to constantly give them cuddles and kisses. Nick is fantastic with them and I honestly couldn't be any luckier or happier.

I've now tried to blog three times but it just won't let me add photo's so I'm uploading them separately.

Much love to all
Amanda xxxxxx

I'm just so excited!!!!!!!!!!   I've been waiting so long to finally see my baby girls and I've been through so much with them, I can't believe I'm finally going to be holding them in my arms tomorrow. I'll be looking into their eyes and be able to touch them and know that everything we've been through up until now has been worth it a thousand times over. Tomorrow I'm going to have my baby girls.........

The past 2 weeks have been so hard emotionally and physically, more than anything I thought it would be. I had my doctor's appointment today and he was just so lovely. He's happy I made it this far(38wks) but he can also see just how much this taken from me. He made a phone call and got me in to be induced tomorrow morning........I could have cried right then and there. So I have to ring the hospital at 7:15am to find out if I can go in then or if I have to wait.

I'll get Fi to let you all know the details and maybe even a pic or two.

Much love to all watch this space..............

Amanda xxxx

I know I haven't been here for a while so I thought I better drop by and do a blog and catch you all up on what's going on.

I'm now 34 weeks pregnant and hopefully only have 3 weeks left till I meet my beautiful baby girl's. I'm taking part in a research program that is trying to find out when is the best time to deliver twins. Some research has shown that the placenta starts to break away and deteriorate at approx. 37 weeks, so they're putting together 2 groups. One group you get induced at 37 weeks and the second group they let you go till 38-39 weeks in the hope you go naturally. The computer allocates you to a group so it's fair (damn it, LOL). I'm hoping I get the first group LOL. Naturally though my doctor can override the research at anytime.

My Gestational Diabetes is under control and slowly going away. I no longer have to have my over night injection and by breakfast injection has been reduced, so I'm pleased about that as I've had enough of having to watch everything I eat and time my meals. It's really been getting me down.

I do have to say as much as I've loved being pregnant, it's really been such a rough time and I've kind of felt cheated out of enjoying it as much as I could have. With the severe morning sickness, then the enormous amount of weight I've lost, being anaemic, then the GD and on top of it all the constant comments about how terrible I look and how much weight I've lost and the blatant rude stares I get and comments of how big I am........it's all taken it's toll and my poor family are suffering because of it. I am loving the movements and kicks I get constantly everyday though, it's absolutely amazing feeling them both move around. I've been having ultrasounds every 2 weeks for a while now also so it's been great to see my girls so much and get the 4D pics. As of this week they are 5.5 lbs and 5.2 lbs and have lots of hair and they apparently have lots of hair.

I had my baby shower a few weeks ago and got absolutely spoilt rotten, I couldn't believe how much stuff everyone bought for the girl's. It blew me away! I have to say I'm truely blessed to have the friend's that I have. One of the gifts I got is a belly casting kit which I'm looking forwarde to doing, I haven't had one before so it'll be great to have to show the girls when they're older.

Well I think that's just about it....I'll leave you all with a pic of my belly.

Much love to all
xxxxxx

I have the biggest craving right now for ice-cream, popcorn and nutella but I can't have it because of my gestational diabetes...........it's driving me INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH........................................................

On Tuesday I had my doctors appointment and was due for the Glucose Tolerance test. I had to have my first blood test taken and drink the glucose drink and wait 2 hours to take my second blood test. While I was waiting I started to feel really sick and faint, I felt terrible. Lucky hubby was with me and he went to ask a midwife if I could lay down, they took me through to a quiet room and I layed down and rested. The midwife went and let the pathologist know I was laying down and when the 2 hours was up she came to me to take the second test. I was told to stay there for 10 more minutes before I left. Late that afternoon I got a phone call telling me the test came back positive.....I have gestational diabetes. I was then told I had to come back to hospital the next day at 9am and I would be seeing 4 different doctors. They were really good and rushed me through as quickly as they could. I learnt about how to check my blood sugar levels which I have to do 4 times a day, I found out why I have it, as I didn't have it with either of the boys, basically having twins doubles my chances as my body is producing twice the amount of insulin and my Mum had it when she was preg with me, but not my brothers. And for whatever reason this pregnancy has decided to throw everything it can at me LOL

I learnt about nutrition in regards to lowering my BSL. It's not that I'm eating badly as ever since being pregnant I've totally gone off chocolate, soft drinks, chips, take away food, fatty foods....to the point that I just don't want to eat most days......that's where the problem is, I'm not fueling my body enough. So I'm on a strict 3 meals and 2-3 snacks a day. Grain bread and muffins, low fat yoghurt and milk, no refined sugars, so all sugars have to be from fruit and carbs. I also have a new doctor. The babies have to be even more closely monitored as diabetes can make them bigger than normal which is already obvious in twin B, her growth at the moment is quite substantial than twin A.

Hopefully diet alone will keep my BSL under control because if it doesn't then I'll have to go on daily insulin injections, which I really don't want to do! The good thing is that in most cases once the babies are born GD goes away, but I'll have to have another glucose tolerance test 6 weeks after they're born and then just be careful as I now have a higher chance of developing diabetes type 2 as I get older.

So there you go all.........these girls are certainly giving me a run for my money. Hopefully they're getting it all out of their system now and will be little angels once they're here

Much love to all.
Amanda xxxxxx

Thought I'd better blog as it's been a while since I have, time just seems to get away.......

I'm now 25 weeks pregnant, it's going so fast. The girls are constantly moving which is just so amazing to feel especially when they move at the same time. Last week at my doctors appointment both girls were breach, meaning bum down and if they didn't move then it would mean a definate cesarean. So they were given a very good talking to by a friend of mine who told them to move or they would have a very unhappy mummy. Today at my ultrasound twin A is now head down......what a good girl she is. It was so wonderful to see them both moving around on the 4D screen, opening their mouths and moving their arms up and down. Twin B has her backside in twin A's face LOL. Hopefully that's not a sign of what's to come LOL. They're both good sizes or so I'm told, 800g and 900g.

It's now just over 3 weeks till my Mum gets back from the U.S and I can't wait........I've missed her so much!!!!!!!!  She's had and is still having a great time though so that's good, she doesn't want to leave but she also can't wait to come back. She better have some good pressies....LOL

Anyway that's all for now.....

xxxx

Last Monday I went to work and was feeling fine except for a cold I'd been fighting for about a week. I'd been there about an hour when all of a sudden I went all pale, dizzy and hot. I went to the loo and as soon as I was in there I threw up everywhere....not nice seeing my eggs and juice I had for breaky again I can tell ya. So I went home and went straight to bed, I'm lucky as Nick had all week off, and bed is where I've stayed since. I was sick again a few more times over the next 2 days but then that settled, but I was still very tired, weak and suffering non-stop headaches that panadol didn't even budge, I've now had the headaches 24/7 for a week. I went to see my GP on Thursday and he said I have a cold virus plus sinus pain, which explains the headaches but nothing I can do about them other than nasal sprays, polaramine and sleep. He also took some blood to make sure nothing else was going on, he rang me that night and said I'm anaemic. So I'm on iron tablets, ordered bed rest and absolutely no working. I have to go back on Tuesday and do another blood test, so hopefully the results will be better as he seemed very concerned. He also said that these babies are going to take EVERYTHING out of me so I have to be very careful, and they certainly are, as I ache all over and I've never been so exhausted or drained in my life.

Apart from all that the babies are doing well, they have been quiet while I've been sick and don't move when mummy has to nap but have been quite active early evening while I'm laying on the sofa watching telly.

Amanda xxx