Hun you are certainly not over reacting. He knew they wouldent say no to going old trafford. then out of the blue said their dad was going too knowing they love man u thats out of order . Keep ya chin up xxx

You are not over reacting. Look at your boys how they have become young men in a short time,they are very different boys to what they were a couple of years ago, and they know we will all be there for them whatever happens. Besides this these promises may never happen just putting you to the test

Love Mum

'Maybe I'm just over reacting??????'  You are not over reacting, you are a mother concerned for your children's well being and safety....how can that be over reacting?

Chris knew that 'dad' was going to the game before he even asked his brothers, not nice to spring it on them after they said yes they wanted to go, that is manipulative...

Does either T or D have a cell(mobile) phone?  If they do they can call you if need be and it would give them a little extra security knowing they have an out, Mom on stand-by!

It has to play iyself out doesn't it?  You can't control the way anyone else will act just be sure in the fact that you have done such a wonderful job with T and D they will know how to handle what comes their way...

No good saying, don't worry..cause you are going to do that regardless..

Take care,

T.

Boy, don't like this at all, sorry Nell, I'm with you.  Chris seems to be useing his postition and feeling very superiour.  He certainly is playing on his brothers love of sports, desire to get back with him and then throwing in the  x factor. Was x behind this all the way?  

Your boys are in better places now and more sure of themselves, listen to them and what they really want and just let them know that they are allowed to call you if need be.  They are there own people and can make their own calls. Chris is how old and acting like this!  He needs to see clearly and treat people as he expects to be treated.

I think that you are right to see a conspiracy here. BUT the boys probably see it too and have chosen to take that risk. Unfortunately you may have to pick up the pieces, but all you can and should do is prepare them for what may or may not happen. If Chris & his dad choose to blow it this time, what are they ever going to find to get the boys and their father together again - a trip to the moon?!? It may do you all a favour in the long run - a swansong trip together?

NO, you are not being selfish - dont entertain that thought! You are being the mother hen, trying to gather the chicks safely under your wings. But sometimes the chicks need to be allowed to walk to the edge of the nest and peer over the cliff. If the fall or jump then you'll swoop prayerfully down and catch them on your back and take them back to safety. One day they'll be flying solo and this is all part of their growing up unfortunately - harder than most sadly, but forming such wonderful young men in the process.

As for the way Chris treated Daniel - shame on him but it sounds like it was true to form. At least he has Thomas to look up to.

Your boys are old enough to be making their own choices on such things.  As hard as it maybe for you as their mother, you need to step back and let them make their mistakes.  They know you will always be there for them.

Your oldest is selfish hun, something I'm guessing he got from his father, but deep down, he wants you in his life.  He's just afraid to admit it, admit his father is a jerk and to swallow his pride.  One day, he will come to you, and want you to forgive him, but until he does, just be happy in the knowledge that you at least know he is alive.

A mother worries.  It is our job. Nothing will stop that, but we do have to learn to let go some time.  You may be selfish, but that is your right given everything you have been through.  You maybe petty, but again, your right.  You maybe paranoid, but are you?  NO, because you know how easily all this could end.

Big hugs and remember, you are a fantastic mum, who will always be there for all her children.

*hugs* sweetie

I totally  agree with Janice.  What Chris did was not brotherly.  And I don't think its right that the boys are forced to have to face seeing their dad if they don't want to just for the chance to go on an outing they want.

This is the first time I've heard you outrightly  say that you fear for their physical safety.  Is this just because you haven't spoken the fear out loud before?  Or is this a new fear?  If this is a genuine concern (rather than just being worried) I'm wondering if it isn't worth speaking to the boys about it and talking about some options they can take if things don't go according to plan - give them some coping strategies or even escape plans.

But I do hope everything goes well.  I really wish this wasn't happening for your family...

 I hope for your boys sake and yours that this outing does not stir  up problems like before and is just a nice outing for your boys with their brother. I fully understand your concern, Helen.

Chris's actions towards Daniel on Facebook, was not nice, to me, he had no thought of Daniels feelings.

Love Janice