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Young Parent Member » nell18-3 » Blog » I AM ME !!!!

01
Jul

I AM ME !!!!

Comment Published at 12:5112:5132 comments32 comments57 Visits57 VisitsReport

Hi Everyone

Just thought I would introduce myself as the new ME!!!!!!!!!

Finally at this stage of my life, I know who I am, I know where I have been and I know where I want to be going !!!!!

I havent told hardly anyone but several weeks ago whilst all the mediation crap was going on I made a decision to stop taking my medication !!! It was a bit scary but I felt as long as I was taking anti depressants it was like I was still allowing ( ) to have some kind of say on my life and my decisions.

I didn't do it by the recommended way, as in going to the doctor but decided I just wasn't going to take them. This could have been dangerous and its not the best way of stopping but for me I was so determined, it worked !!!!

I have not taken any anti depressants for about 2 months now and I feel great. I am in total control of my emotions, I have had some huge issues to deal with and I have COPED fine !!!!!!!

Not even my parents knew I was stopping the meds, I just surprised them one day with the news that I hadn't taken any for several weeks, had they noticed a difference in me?????? They hadn't so I KNEW I was going to be ok

This has been the total and undeniable proof to me that I was never insane, I was never mentally unbalanced, I was never having a breakdown. It was all HIM

So this is ME, I like ME, I hope my friends will always like ME, I KNOW my family like ME and LOVE me, Even my distant son deep down, he loves me, if he had no feelings for me he wouldn't be confused right now, he can't talk to me because he doesn't want to hurt me deep down. Otherwise where are the abusive emails from him asking me to leave him alone???? I KNOW he LOVES me

 

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Comments

julielf
July 3rd | julielf
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Oh Helen I am so so very happy for you.  I am also very proud of you and what you have done and what you have achieved.  I pray that your son will know soon that he loves you too.   I pray that  he is given clarity and will not be confused about his feelings. I pray that you will have reconciliation with all of your children and will be able to celebrate together!



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      nell18-3
July 4th | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Thankyou Julie

Thats my prayer too

xxx

 



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mariamum
July 2nd | mariamum
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Congrats!  You have achieved something I hope to achieve one day.  I know how you feel about the meds I feel the same way it's just a reminder that I can't do it by myself, but it's great that you went without them for 2 months and no side effects, I've tried a week or two max and had to start taking them again.

I love you meds or not, you were always you, but I'm glad you've found yourself.  Hey wait for me I need to catch up, lol.

xxxxxxxxx



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      nell18-3
July 2nd | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Thanks Maria

And you WILL get there, I have full belief in you, just don't be hard on yourself !!

xxx



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August88
July 2nd | August88
Re: I AM ME !!!!

What an inspiration! Well done. Everything you say in this blog is so true! Lynette xx



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      nell18-3
July 2nd | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Thanks Lynette

Took a long time getting there, but maybe a steady pace is a better way to go for the end result??

xxx

 



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Arna
July 2nd | Arna
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Hello Me,

So glad you have found yourself!  It is such an amazing feeling when you do. 

Of course your son still loves you.  Male pride makes it harder for them to accept things because they don't want to appear weak by admitting them.  Let's hope he comes around soon and you guys can get back to being a family again.  I'm sure your other boys would like that too.

It sounds like you have finally turned the corner!!!!  So proud of you!!!!!



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      nell18-3
July 2nd | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Thankyou Arna

I'm sure he will come back too

xxx

 



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winja
July 2nd | winja
Re: I AM ME !!!!

well done hunni

its one of the hardest thinsg to do. i went off meds over a year ago and i know how hard it is.....

u will have lots of ups and downs but as you go along you will realise just HOW strong and capable you are when you deal with them without meds.

xxx im so proud of you

nat



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      nell18-3
July 2nd | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Thanks Nat

Its a great feeling isn't it knowing that you are doing it yourself. take care

xxx

 



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lightbee
July 2nd | lightbee
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Yay!  I'm so proud of you sweetie.   And I like and love you too!!!

Man - it's so hard to remember the cautious, scaredy, damaged woman I first met here.  You've come so far and every day you seem to be more of the person I imagine you were always meant to be.

I'll bet ( ) is scared of you now instead!!



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      nell18-3
July 2nd | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Ah thanks Leith

I like and love you too!!!!!!!!

I can barely remember how i felt back then either, think I have blocked a lot of it out!!!!

xxx

 



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mumof2b
July 2nd | mumof2b
Re: I AM ME !!!!

You are amazing and I'm just so very proud of you.

You caught me on an emotional night and I've now got tears in my eyes, that's how happy I am for you!!!! 

Amanda xxx



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      nell18-3
July 2nd | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Thankyou so much Amanda

Sorry for the timing

xxx

 



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kseers
July 2nd | kseers
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Well said, well done - you are one strong and complete lady!



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      nell18-3
July 2nd | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Thankyou

Its about time dont you think !!!

xxx

 



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yummymummyof3
July 1st | yummymummyof3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

I have always liked you and am proud of who you are, you were always you we just saw the broken you.....  I know I have said it over and over but I am so proud of you and what you have achieved since that first day I became your friend, you now have the power and no bastard will ever take it away.......

xxxxxxxxx



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      nell18-3
July 2nd | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Thanks so much Fi

We've been friends for a very long time haven't we now!!!!! Where would I be without you my Angel????

xxx



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cazza
July 1st | cazza
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Hi Helen

You have come a long way since we become members on here, and we have always being there for each other through the good times and some bad,but no matter what we have done or being i have always and still am so proud of you....

woohooooo to the New you...

xx cazza



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      nell18-3
July 1st | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

thanks Cazza

You've always been there to kick my arse when I've needed it and that hug too !!!!

xxx

 



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pavementcracks70
July 1st | pavementcracks70
Re: I AM ME !!!!

i'm so very happy for you, keep marching to your drum and in control of your destiny.....take care, rue

 



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      nell18-3
July 1st | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Thanks Rue

Love the mental picture of me marching to a drum LOL

xxx

 



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electrifying02
July 1st | electrifying02
Re: I AM ME !!!!

hello dear helen

well done . i love you for you . you are the most amazing person and i love reading your blogs . you have a heart of gold i treasure your friendship well done helen

love belxxx



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      nell18-3
July 1st | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

You're a sweetheart Bel

Thankyou so much

xxx

 



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emmie
July 1st | emmie
Re: I AM ME !!!!

YAY you hang your head high girl well done in coming off the tablets i hope you continue to get stronger and  stronger cos i know you are oso strtong .

Luv Emz xx



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      nell18-3
July 1st | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Thanks Em

Thanks for always having that faith in me hunni

xxx

 



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lonely28
July 1st | lonely28
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Well well you have been a busy bee haven't you........ YAY for ME, I mean you, well the new "me" as in you... I am confused lol!!! You know how proud we all are of you Helen and me especially. You have done this, you have discovered the new "you" and you will continue living a life filled with love, respect and laughter....... YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYA FOR HELEN!!!!!

love ya loads,

fi xoxo



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      nell18-3
July 1st | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Um.........now I'm confused LOL

Only kidding, I get ya!!!

thanks for EVERYTHING Fi, my kid sister

xxx

 



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KathrynR1402
July 1st | KathrynR1402
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Wow Helen, well done! Im so glad coming off the meds worked so well. But more than that, I am so happy that you are able to be strong and like yourself and know the truth about yourself and about your DS1! You're being liberated by the truth! Keep on up this path - I hear the view from the top is spectacular!



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      nell18-3
July 1st | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Thanks so much Kathryn

I miss my son every day but the more I think the more I realise that he could have got cross with me many times and told me to leave him alone, yet he never has, so I love to think that every I love you email I send him, must hit home somewhere

xxx

 



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MrsSanders
July 1st | MrsSanders
Re: I AM ME !!!!

What is not to like about you. You are a lovely, kind, thoughtful and STRONG woman,mum and friend. Ah but then we all knew that already, so glad you can at last see what minti sees. Good on you for doing it your way, and saying it your way, the only way for you know is up,up,up. Go Helen, you Rock.LOL.

Luv Winnie.xxxx



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      nell18-3
July 1st | nell18-3
Re: I AM ME !!!!

Thanks so much Winnie, that means such a lot

We must get that coffee sometime, its ridiculous to be so close yet never meet up !!!!

Maybe in the summer hols can sort something

xxx

 



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