I think you have raised one very self-aware, sensible little boy.  I don't think there's anything you need to do except honour his wishes.  He knows who he wants to be and he knows how to ensure he can be that person.  What a gift you have given him to be able to recognise that!  And also to recognise that there is more to this life than he may once have thought there was - there is the option for him NOT to be messed up! 

It is truly sad that his dad can't treat him as well as he deserved.  He is truly missing out on a relationship with a beautiful boy.

You have done so well to help the boys to choose on how to handle their dad, and you should be so proud.. But they are getting older now, and if thats daniels request, then maybe the lawyers need to accept it... and that dirt bag of father as well... It would be hard, but you know that you havnt stopped them and have supported them all the way, bugger what the other people think..

xx cazza

Oh the darling boy.  Who cares what other people believe.  You know the truth and that is all that matters.  I think you are doing the right thing.

What a perceptive answer from him - and it is great that he can see that and feel confident enough to make his own choice.  Well done Daniel!

Well, he's right. He may want to go back to see him in the future, but right now he's in a far healthier place IMO without seeing his dad. Wise lad. It's so unfair, but life isnt fair. At least he has a great mum who supports him all the way! Does he like writing? Do you think it might benefit him to write down now how he's feeling and all about the "two Daniels" so that when the mists of time have clouded his memory, and the rose tinted specs have gone on, he can re-read it and remember how supportive of him YOU were and why HE chose not to see his dad? Or perhaps he can make an audio diary thingy, if he prefers talking? Just a thought!

You know im with you 110% with you letting it be the boys choice if and when they want to see their dad . Poor daniel i feel so sorry for him it isnt his fault his dad is such a &*%$& . He is one strong cookie just like his mum.

Luv Emz xxx

poor daniel....its really not fair, it breaks my heart to read stuff like that.........however he'll be the stronger one for it......

it will be such a joy watching him grow up,

take care love rue

You have always told the boys it's up to them and I know you have given them this option and we too have told them ( ) will always be their dad whatever they may want to believe  He comes up with things to say to you and feels he has this private time with you. He is quite a thinker and is very sensible and enjoys the school trips with his mumand feels free to talk to you about things BLESS HIM

Hi sweetpea,

This is totally Daniel's decision I have never seen you make the boys do something they didn't want.  You have always supported them and they could change their minds but it is for them to decide.  Just carry on being the strong supportive mum you've always been.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

You have a very smart boy there Helen.  He knows how his dad makes him feel and that he doesn't like it.  The decision won't have been made lightly either, so you should be proud that he is going to do what is right by him!!!!

I do have to say Helen, you have two very thoughtful and realistic little boy's there. I feel for their struggle, especially Daniel, but wow how sensible and self protecting they are. People will think what ever makes them feel secure, on one hand there are people out there who think you are a little lost. On the other, there are a few thousand in here who know for a fact you are on the right path. The boy's are sensible enough to look at both and independantly follow the one who has the map.

Just thoughts, just thoughts.Luv Winnie.xxxx

What an amazing insight for someone so young. Who cares what others think, you know and your children know and that is all that matters.

That is really sad. Poor Daniel has been trough a lot. it sound cute when he says there are 2 Daniels. But not so cute for him.Your saying and doing the right things......Daniel most probably doesn't want to hurt his dad or you.....

Tracey

How sad yet also amazing that he can make such a profound realisation...........You must be so proud of the way he's growing up and I think he definately gets the strength from you, you've paved the way for him to be who he is and know what he wants.

Amanda xxxx

hey

I know it can be hard when a child doesnt want to see a parent for a time but there may be a day when he turns around and says I want to go visit my dad. I don't think it is a good idea to try and push him either way.

At least he knows he has a dad and can put a face to his dad. I know i got a 1/2 bro and sis out there somewhere who never knew what our dad looked like, and my mum never knew her father he died while she was a baby.

Anyways at least he knows who is dad is.