I'm actually online!!!

Contrary to the belief that I have apparently been online for days, this is actually the first time I have logged in for about a fortnight, so not sure why my status consistently said I was online. I assure you all, I have not been hiding on Minti, I honestly haven't been on. Even my Mum has been saying "I see you are online!!" But I really wasn't LOL

But right now, I am

So, what have I been up to............

Well, to the outside world its still a big secret, but to my friends on Minti, I'm happy to share with you, I am actually writing a book, its going to be based on the last 4 years of my life, so you all know what that entails, I have tried to write about it several times over the years, but it never got off the ground. Then about a month ago, I woke up knowing exactly how I want my story to be told.

Essentially it will be about the details of overcoming all forms of abuse, but I have a strong intention of making it clear that in my opinion, the church itself does not want to identify that abuse can happen in a Christian marriage, I have made no secret of how my Faith has kept me going over the years, but the Church itself, let me down and didn't want to get involved. But its time for the church to realise that not only does abuse happen and exist, but the church also offers a good hiding place to some abusers who think a few tears with their Pastor vindicates the terrible things they have done. It doesn't!!!!

Its definintely not going to be an angry, or bitter book, as I don't think that would be right either. I did still have support from some Christian friends who were prepared to listen and accept my words as the truth, but I really hope if it does get read by others, what an amazing prospect that from my story, other women could go to the church, be believed, be supported and be accepted.

I'm really excited about the project, its actually been a very healing and uplifting experience for me in writing it. I've been amazed as how I sit in front of the computer, the words just flow, I am already 200 pages into it and I am very happy with things so far. My parents and brothers have read the manuscript as have a few very close friends, I am getting only positive critique and am definitely listening to what they have to say.

For me, I have no sense of disappointment if it ever gets published or not, I strongly believe if its meant to be then it will be, if it was only meant to close the story for me, giving me completion and total healing, thats absolutely fine too.

At first I wasn't sure of where this was taking me,  I made up my mind that I wasnt going to go to an Agency, however, a good friend, who will know whom they are, made me question this. I have now gone to a Writers Agency with a synopsis, some sample chapters and information about myself, they have come back to me asking to see the rest and paying compliments to what they have read so far. Like I said, I have no illusions, I'm just going along for the ride and we'll see where this all goes.

On top of all this, my internet went down yet again for a week. Sooooooo frustrating!!!!!!!

Apparently there was some small fire somewhere and 800 homes were affected. 800 out of thousands and yet one of those homes was mine !!!!!!!Typical !!!!

Anyway I'm off to catch up with my watchlist now, I think it may take a while !!!!!!

xxx